“Do I live a life of bitterness and regret?”
“Maybe. But eventually you find someone. A spinster librarian who reads Emily Dickinson to you every night.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Actually, you like it a lot.”
“So you still hate me, huh?” he asked.
She tilted her head and her long, blond hair tumbled across her shoulder. “Not as much as I should.”
He turned the chicken and shook his head. “I wish we’d met another way. I wish I’d run into you at the beach or the grocery store or at a party.”
“Ryan, don’t.”
“Why not? We get along. We got along that first night, we’re getting along now.”
“I don’t know how much of that first night was real and how much of it was your agenda. Who are you really?”
“I’m trying to show you.” And to be patient. Her points were valid. As much as he didn’t like it, he respected her right to be cautious.
“Okay, I’m good with that,” she said. “I’m trying, Ryan. I’m not being difficult on purpose.”
“It’s just a happy by-product?”
“Kind of.”
“So tell me about your life,” he said. “You know all about the tragedy of my childhood.”
She smiled and his gut tightened. Imagine what she could do to him if she worked at it.
“My sisters and I were pretty happy. There wasn’t a lot of money and no private schools with or without uniforms, but that was fine with us.”
“Your dad died?”
She paused and for the first time since arriving, looked uncomfortable.
“No, he’s alive.”
What was the problem? Divorce happened all the time.
“My parents are still married,” she said. “They have a unique relationship. My dad is one of those guys who can’t settle down. He’s charming and funny and everyone wants to be around him.”
Everyone but her, Ryan thought, watching the emotions play across her face. Her father had obviously hurt her.
“He disappears,” she continued. “He’ll show up for a few weeks, much to the delight of my mother who adores him. He’ll shower us with presents and tell us stories and get involved in our lives and then he disappears. There’s never any warning and more often than not, he cleans out my mom’s bank account. A few months later, he sends a check for three or four times that amount. A few months after that, he shows up again and we’re off.”
“That had to be hard on you,” Ryan said.
“It wasn’t my favorite way of life. I wanted him to stay and if he couldn’t stay I wanted him gone. For so long I hated how much I loved him when he was around and how awful I felt when he left. I hated seeing my sisters so sad and listening to my mother cry.”
She stiffened, as if she hadn’t meant to say that much. “It’s better now,” she said casually. “I don’t get involved.”
Was that true? Was Julie really able to cut herself off from her father or did she simply avoid any emotion where he was concerned?
“How does your mom handle it?” he asked.
“She loves him.” Julie’s expression was both indulgent and confused. “I don’t get it, but she does. She’s loved him from the moment she first saw him. She walked away from her family just to be with him. From that life of wealth and privilege, from her parents. Your uncle was her stepfather, but he’d been a part of her life since she’d been a baby. As far as she was concerned, he was her father. According to her, it was for the best. She’s never looked back, never had regrets.”
He checked on the bread, then removed the chicken from the grill. The salad was ready. Once the bread was done, he would make the pesto and they’d be ready to eat.
“I admire her ability to stand by her decision,” he said. “That takes courage.”
“I think being totally cut off from her family helped. It wasn’t as if they would have welcomed her back.”
“Her father wouldn’t have,” he told her. “But Ruth would have. She’s a soft-hearted old bird. She’d bristly and tough on the outside, but inside, she’s mush.”
“I haven’t seen that side of her. She was pretty intimidating when she came to visit.”
He smiled. “You? Intimidated? I don’t believe it.”
She laughed. “Okay, I was nervous. You obviously care about her. I can hear it in your voice. I mean this in the nicest possible way—why? She tried to get one of us to marry your cousin by bribing us. That’s not exactly sweet.”
“But it’s vintage Ruth. She loves to meddle, but she’s also always been a big part of my life. Our parents traveled constantly and when they were gone, Todd and I lived with Ruth. She had an incredible old house in Bel Air. The grounds were massive, two or three acres at least. We’d spend summers getting lost in the gardens. When we were at school, she’d show up for no reason, pull us out of classes and take us to the beach or Disneyland.”
“That sounds nice.” Doubt filled her voice.
“It was. You’ll have to get to know her.”
“I can’t wait. At least the house will be cool if she asks me to visit.”
“She doesn’t live there anymore. She gave it to her daughter, who’s the oldest of the two sisters and she passed it along to Todd.”
Julie stared at him. “Todd lives in an old Bel Air mansion?”
“Does that change anything? Are you sorry he wasn’t the one on the date?”
She laughed. “No. It makes him even more mock-able. What’s a single guy doing with a house like that? It must be a museum.”
“It is. Why do you find that so funny?”
“I don’t know, but I can’t wait to tell my sisters. Okay, my good manners are kicking in. How can I help?”
“You could set the table.”
“Great. Show me where to wash my hands?”
“Sure.”
He led her to the guest bathroom off the dining area. She glanced around at the white tile, marble floor and white fixtures, then returned her attention to him.
“You really need to work on saying no to your interior decorator.”
“I know. It’s a disaster.”
“You could get snow blindness in here.”
“If you think this is bad,” he teased, “you should see the bedroom. It’s all done in black and purple.”
In less than a heartbeat, the entire mood shifted. Tension crackled between them. Ryan couldn’t look away from her mouth, and the need to kiss her and hold her attacked him like a semiautomatic.
Julie opened her mouth, then closed it. “This is awkward,” she said at last.
“It doesn’t have to be.” Although it nearly killed him, he took a step back. He’d given in to temptation at the law office and it hadn’t furthered his cause. He tried never to make the same mistake twice. “See. All better.”
It wasn’t. At