She shook her head. “I don’t know if it was ego or my need to prove I wasn’t her. Either way, I did read it, but I didn’t get a lawyer to and I missed all the subtleties.”
Jack practiced criminal law, but he’d heard enough horror stories from co-workers practicing family law that he could guess the outcome.
“It wasn’t what you thought.”
“Not even close. Not only couldn’t I touch his practice or any income from it, but everything of mine was community property. I got nothing of his and he got half of mine. The only bright spot is I didn’t have a whole lot to take half of.”
He reached across the table and covered her hand with his. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I learned an important lesson. My mother used to tell me the trick was to marry a rich man and keep him. I think the real trick is to not need a man at all.”
“Speaking on behalf of my gender, we’re not all jerks.”
“I know.” She squeezed his fingers. “I blame myself as much as Vance. There were warning signs. I didn’t pay much attention to them.”
While he knew intellectually that she was right—that she did have to take some responsibility—his gut reaction was to hunt down Vance and beat the crap out of him. Talk about a low-life bastard.
“Want me to have someone look over the settlement and see if anything was missed?” he asked, suspecting she wouldn’t appreciate the offer of physical violence.
“Thanks, but I’m okay. I’m doing my best to put my past behind me. It’s been hard. Not because I’m so crazy about Vance, but because I tried to be so careful and he made a fool out of me in so many ways.”
“Which makes you naturally wary,” he said.
“Oh, yeah. Between him and my father, I’m now convinced any man I meet is out to screw me, and not in a sexual way.” She grabbed another chicken wing.
“Ah, isn’t this where you say present company excluded?” he asked.
She looked at him. “I want to. You’re a great guy, Jack. I know that.”
“But?”
“You’re still a rich, powerful man. I’m having a little trouble letting go of that fact.”
“I see your point. Here we sit, you thinking if you trust a guy he’ll take off and dump on you in the process. I’m convinced anyone I care about will leave. We’re not exactly a normal couple.”
She grinned. “I like to think there is no normal.”
“Do you believe that?”
“Sometimes. I know that I can’t be afraid forever. I’m trying to get myself back.” She tugged on the front of her blouse. “Dressing like this, for example. Vance hated my bohemian ways. He kept telling me I had to grow up.”
Jack frowned. “Your free spirit is one of your best qualities. I’m sorry he didn’t see that.”
“Me, too. But there it is. He liked me to dress a certain way, that sort of thing.”
“Controlling?”
She shrugged. “He was a cardiologist. He had an image.”
“I know lawyers like that. It gets bad for their wives after they make partner. Suddenly what was great before isn’t good enough anymore. I don’t get it.”
“That’s because you’re reasonable. Not everyone is.” She released his hand and leaned back in her chair. “Now that you know the basic story of my pathetic divorce, I hope you’ll understand why I’m becoming the queen of mixed messages where you’re concerned. I know my past doesn’t excuse my actions. I don’t expect it to. I just hope you’ll understand and accept my apology.”
He stared at her. Until that second he’d never considered there was a reason for her behavior that had nothing to do with him.
“What?” she asked. “You have the strangest look on your face.”
He shook his head. “I was just thinking that you being cautious around me was about you, not me. On the heels of that I realized I can’t separate myself from who I am. I come from a wealthy family, I have a challenging, professional career. I am, on the surface, a walking, breathing manifestation of everything you’re not looking for.”
“Exactly.”
At least she was being honest, he thought grimly. “A lot for us to overcome,” he said, going for a light tone of voice. “I guess I should stop trying so hard.”
She winced. “I feel really horrible. You’ve been nothing but nice to me. And before, in grad school, I loved us being close. You were terrific. I know in my head that you’d never hurt me.”
“It’s the rest of you that can’t be convinced,” he said.
“Yeah. But I’ve also decided it would be a good thing for me to face my fears.”
While he liked the sound of that, he wasn’t sure why she should bother. “You don’t have to.”
“It’s the mature thing to do and I like to think of myself as mature. I want us to be friends.”
Great. So much for making progress. “We are friends.”
“I’m glad. I really love my job and I don’t want to blow this opportunity.”
“You won’t,” he told her.
“I hope not. It’s just that …” She pressed her lips together and looked at him.
In any other woman, he would swear he was being given an invitation. But with Samantha? He wasn’t sure. Better to stay on the safe side of the road.
“Remember that time we were studying in the park and that woman’s dog got away from her?” he asked. “She was running around calling for him and you said we had to help.”
She grinned. “Yes. And you told me that a dog would never come to strangers so I said we had to tempt it with food. So we went to that butcher and bought bones.”
He’d felt like an idiot, he thought, but he’d been with Samantha so he hadn’t cared.
“There we were, running around, calling for a dog and throwing bones around. Every stray in a three-mile radius started following us.”
“It was sad,” she said. “I felt so badly for those dogs.”
“You felt badly? You’re the one who insisted we find a rescue place for them. Then it was my car we crammed them into. Of course you hadn’t realized that dogs like to mark what they think of as new territory.”
She winced. “I felt really horrible about the smell, but the dogs got adopted. So that’s something.”
“Unfortunately none of the new owners was willing to buy my smelly car.”
He’d been forced to get rid of it for practically nothing. Still, it had been worth it, he thought, remembering how happy she’d been about the dogs.
She leaned close. “Doesn’t taking the moral high ground ease some of the financial sting?”
“Not as much as you’d think,” he said, finding his gaze riveted on her mouth.
Dumb idea, he told himself. On a scale of one to ten, ten being somewhere between stupid and idiotic, this was a twelve.
But there was something about the way she smiled and the light in her eyes. Something that spoke of promise and desire.
Hadn’t