It could wait, Holly knew that, and felt guilty for even considering raising it now.
So instead of worrying about tomorrow, or the next, or the next, she went into the changing room and had the quickest shower ever. There was just time for a dart under the jets and a quick soap and rinse then she dried herself and pulled on her little black dress.
‘That’s nice,’ Anna said as Holly came out. Anna was hogging the one tiny mirror and applying eyeliner, while looking stunning in a very slinky, very red dress. ‘You always look good in that.’
It was such a backhanded compliment that Holly actually stopped in her tracks for a second, before sitting down on the bench and pulling out her make-up bag.
‘Thanks.’ Holly smiled, pretending she had missed the rather bitchy comment. Oh, she was in no mood for make-up but it was certainly needed! As well as that the steam, even from a very brief shower, had made her curly hair even more so.
‘Daniel’s waiting,’ Anna said rather pointedly as she turned from the mirror, all ready, just as Holly got her mascara out. ‘We don’t really have much time.’
‘Daniel can wait for five minutes,’ Holly answered. She hadn’t asked him to play taxi driver and, more to the point, she wouldn’t have minded the long wait for a taxi just to be able to get ready and allow for some time to jolt herself out of her morose mood. ‘Or you guys can go on without me and I’ll see you there.’
‘No need for that. I’ll go and wait with Daniel,’ Anna said.
‘Sure.’
‘I’ll see if I can persuade him to stay for a drink. After all, it is effectively his leaving do.’
‘It’s been Daniel’s leaving do since October,’ Holly said. There was a knot of disquiet in her stomach, though, at the thought she might not see him again but Anna merely shrugged.
‘Then I might just have to kiss him goodbye!’
Holly, whether she liked Anna or not, was genuinely curious. ‘Doesn’t it bother you that he’ll be gone soon?’
‘Any one of us could be gone soon.’ Anna shrugged. ‘If working here doesn’t prove that, then I don’t know what will. I intend to enjoy every moment.’
And Anna was off. Teetering out on skinny legs and high heels and leaving that thought hanging in the air as heavily as her perfume.
Finally Holly had a moment alone.
She leant her head against the wall and closed her eyes and thought not just of Nora and Paul but of her own parents.
This time last year had been fraught, with Holly accompanying her mother to appointments and dashing to be there on her days off to offer support.
Tomorrow, after she’d done some shopping, Holly would be back on the motorway and again headed for home.
One year on it felt as if not much had changed. And in a year where there had been a rather marked absence of fun, in the latter months Daniel had somehow brightened her days.
She was, very possibly, never going to see him again, and that wasn’t the reason for the sudden threat of tears, Holly told herself. No, it had been an emotional shift and it was coming to the end of a difficult year.
That was why she was suddenly teary.
It had nothing to do with lost opportunities.
Had there even been any? Holly pondered as she sat there and thought back over their time. Yes, there had certainly been a few occasions where a little flirt could have maybe spilled into more.
But to what end?
Maybe she needed a more generous dose of Anna’s thinking instead of her usual caution where men were concerned.
Or maybe, Holly conceded as she put on her coat and walked out of the changing room, she was just looking for an excuse to misbehave.
She made her way through the department.
There was Daniel looking all sexy in black jeans and a really thin jumper that almost looked silky and the fabric was so thin that she could see his nipples.
Talk about Think Like a Man.
‘Are you coming after all?’ Holly asked, seeing that he looked dressed for, well, anything.
‘No. Why?’
‘Because you’ve changed.’
‘I’ve changed because I’m a locum,’ Daniel pointed out. ‘If I didn’t throw my scrubs in the linen skip at the end of my shift I’d have quite a collection at my flat by now from the various hospitals I’ve worked at.’
As they walked past the nurses’ station he retrieved his Advent calendar. ‘Do you want yours?’ he said.
‘Yes.’ Holly said, and smiled at Gloria. ‘I don’t trust the night staff a bit.’
She added it to her bag, which she would lock up with her coat at the pub.
Really, she would far prefer to be on her way home than heading off to a party, especially one that Daniel wasn’t attending.
They walked out of the hospital and towards his car. It was one of those cold, damp nights and Holly was glad she hadn’t made any attempt to tame her hair.
So was Daniel.
He was used to seeing it tied back and wrestling its way out of confinement, but now it fell in a dark cloud past her shoulders and some curls fell forward as she stopped for a moment and checked inside her bag.
He had seen her out of uniform before—arriving at work in jeans—but he had never seen Holly dressed up before and he found himself wanting to know what she wore under that coat.
They fell into step as they walked towards the car and it was Anna who asked the question that was on Holly’s mind.
‘When do you fly?’
‘I haven’t booked it yet,’ Daniel answered. ‘Probably next week.’
‘Where are you going first?’
‘Switzerland.’
He aimed his keys at a black car, which lit up, and then everyone loaded their bags into the boot and then piled in, Laura and Holly in the back, Anna in the front, and suddenly Daniel knew that one of the reasons he wasn’t indulging in a little après ski right about now was Holly.
Several hospitals had called, asking him to work, and the answer had been no. It was only when a shift had come up in the emergency department at The Primary that he had accepted a shift.
And now, as everyone climbed into his car and Anna got in the front, it felt wrong—as if Holly should be the one in his front passenger seat.
Holly felt the same.
It was odd and it was with absolutely no reason, yet Holly found that she resented the way Anna had jumped in the front. Holly sat behind Anna and when Daniel turned his head to reverse out, for a moment their eyes met. Holly was tempted to wind down the window because it had suddenly become very warm in the car and the heater had barely gone on.
Daniel moved the car out of the parking spot and then drove to the barrier and swiped his ID card. There he glanced in the rear-view mirror, not to check for traffic, more to see if her eyes were waiting.
They were.
All too often she averted her gaze, failing to complete what they started.
Not tonight.
Holly