Not that he’d asked her yet, she chided herself as she crossed the paving and headed for the barbecue. She was thinking of excuses unnecessarily. Why would he be interested in her? Just because Scarlett had put the idea in her head it didn’t mean that Rico was entertaining the same notion.
* * *
‘Could I have your number?’
Rose had been chatting to Jake and Rico for several minutes when Rico asked the question. She was glad he’d waited until Jake had taken a tray of cooked hamburgers inside to Scarlett. She didn’t think she had the heart to turn him down in front of his mate but she couldn’t give him what he wanted. He was handsome in a swarthy, dark, Mediterranean way, he had a great body, hours in the gym having toned it to perfection, and he seemed genuinely nice, but there was no spark. Rose wondered if she’d ever feel that spark again. Rico was just the type of man she normally fancied, tall, dark, good looking, a few years older than her but she wasn’t interested. She hadn’t been interested in a long time.
Not quite true, she thought as she remembered a man with chocolate brown eyes, a triangular jaw and an easy smile. She might make an exception for a man like him. But that was just a silly fantasy about a complete stranger. She didn’t even know his name.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘I’m not dating at the moment.’
She knew she had to figure out how she was going to fulfil her dream of having a family when she didn’t feel ready for a relationship. She still dreamt of finding love but in reality she was scared. She knew she couldn’t wait for ever, she didn’t want to wait for ever, but she was afraid to take that first step back into the dating game. She knew that first step would lead to others, which would lead to her having to share parts of herself, and that was the part she wasn’t ready for.
Rico looked as if he might be getting ready to plead his case and Rose tried to remember how she used to turn invitations down without appearing rude. ‘Why don’t you give me your number?’ she added. ‘And if I change my mind, I’ll call you.’
‘Sure.’
‘Great,’ she replied, pleased he wasn’t going to argue with her. ‘I’ll just grab my phone.’
She ducked inside and rummaged through her handbag. Her phone was lying in the bottom of the bag under a tin of coloured pencils she’d bought for Lila. She pulled the pencils out with the phone. She’d get Rico’s number and then she would go and see Lila. She’d had enough of the party. She knew it would only be more of the same. Talking to Jake’s friends, getting asked for her number. She made her excuses to Scarlett, promising to call back later, hoping that Jake’s friends would have left by then and she could play with Holly without interruption.
But right now there was somewhere else she’d rather be. Someone else she’d rather talk to.
* * *
He was there.
He was sitting beside Lila’s bed, his long legs stretched out in front of him, feet crossed at the ankles, watching as his daughter scrolled through what appeared to be photos on his phone.
She couldn’t deny she’d been hoping to see him but now she was ridiculously nervous. What had she expected? That she could just feast her eyes on him from a distance, hiding in the shadows without being seen herself?
That was exactly what she’d hoped. She hadn’t thought about the reality of seeing him. Of talking to him. She wasn’t ready to make scintillating conversation. She had nothing to say. She was completely out of practice.
But she couldn’t stand in the doorway for ever. She crossed the room and the movement caught his eye. He lifted his head and his chocolate eyes followed her progress. He stood up as she got closer and Rose put another tick in the box that would be beside his name if only she knew what it was. He had manners. She adored men with manners. Having someone who would open a door for her or pull out her chair at dinner and seat her first, not because he thought she was incapable, just because it was a nice thing to do, always made her go weak at the knees. She always thought it gave a little glimpse about what he would be like as a husband or a lover. A mark of consideration and kindness. A man with manners would treat a girl properly.
‘I didn’t mean to interrupt,’ she said. ‘I just brought some drawing things for Lila.’
He smiled at her and Rose’s knees wobbled as the ground tilted a little under her feet. She’d liked his smile yesterday when he’d looked at his daughter but that was nothing compared to having him smile at her. His face brightened and his brown eyes warmed and darkened like melted chocolate as he looked straight at her. ‘You’re not interrupting, Rose.’
A rush of happiness flooded through her and she could feel a faint blush stealing over her pale cheeks. He’d remembered her name!
She stopped next to Lila’s bed before realising she should have continued to the opposite side. She was standing far too close to him. Her head barely reached his shoulders. If she turned her head towards him, all she could see was the powerful breadth of his chest; if she looked down she got an eyeful of a narrow waist and long, lean legs; if she breathed in she could smell him. He smelt clean and fresh as if he’d not long been out of the shower, and his scent overrode the antiseptic smell of the hospital.
Her heart was racing, making her hands shake. She wasn’t sure why but he really unsettled her and she was unbelievably nervous. As she reached forward to pass the pencils and sketch pad to Lila the tin slid from her hands. The lid popped off as the tin hit the floor and pencils spilled around their feet.
His reaction time was faster than hers. He crouched down and gathered the pencils up as she stood there, trying to work out what had just happened. His head was level with her knees and she could look down onto the top of his head. His hair was cut short but it was thick and she had a sudden urge to reach out and thread her fingers through it. Instead, she curled them into a fist at her side.
He stood and handed her the pencils but the touch of his fingers sent a jolt of awareness through her that was so strong she almost dropped them a second time.
Maybe it had been a mistake, coming here. She was well and truly disconcerted and had lost all trace of coherent thought.
‘I can’t stay,’ she said as she finally managed to put the pencils and sketch book on the end of Lila’s bed. ‘These are for you,’ she said before she bolted for the door as fast as her disfigured feet would allow.
He followed her from the ward. She didn’t turn around but she could feel him behind her. Her whole body was tense, her nerves taut, fighting against her as she tried to walk away.
‘Wait!’
Her steps slowed of their own accord as he called to her and then he was beside her, his hand on her elbow, sending her heart crazy. She turned to face him.
‘Thank you for getting those pencils for Lila. Can I reimburse you?’
She was looking into a pair of eyes that were so dark she could see her own reflection. Her eyes were wide, startled, and she knew that he had caused that look as his touch had sent her body wild.
He was waiting for her answer. She shook her head. ‘No, I wanted to do it. I thought it would help to keep her occupied.’
‘I meant to bring her things with me, she asked me to, but with all the other hundred things I had to organise to get away I forgot. Her brothers have been acting up, they’re missing Lila and are upset with me for leaving them behind, and with all their carry-on I got completely distracted and forgot to pack Lila’s things.’ He paused to take a breath and gave her a half-smile along with a slight shrug of his shoulders. ‘But you don’t want to hear about all of that.’
Oh, but she did. She wanted to know everything.
‘If you won’t let me reimburse you, can I at least buy you a coffee?’
She gathered her hair in her hand