Quiet melted the tension that had gripped her, and she thought of going back to sleep. But immediately dismissed that notion. She’d already slept over four hours, and her stomach rumbled. She decided to check on Kate and see if she’d ordered that pizza.
Thoughts of her sister brought back what happened earlier and the fact that Kate was no doubt angry with her, her usual attitude toward Lydia. She hadn’t handled her sister right. She needed to apologize. She didn’t want what happened to disrupt her life any more than it already had.
Out in the hallway, she found Cheri waiting at her door. Scooping her cat up into her arms, she started for the living room. The sound of Kate’s voice as well as a deep, masculine one floated to her. Who was here? She hoped it wasn’t the boy Kate was dating. Connor was a senior and from what she’d discovered, wild. Lydia didn’t want her sister making the mistake she’d made.
She followed the voices to the kitchen. Stopping in the entrance, she stared first at Brutus, then Jesse sitting at the table with Kate across from him.
“Are you sure you don’t want any more pizza? Lydia might not wake up until morning.” Kate was finishing off a piece, then slurped a long sip of her soft drink.
Jesse’s gaze snagged Lydia’s.
Kate twisted around in her chair and looked at Lydia. “How long have you been there?”
She moved into the kitchen, Cheri wiggling in her arms. “A few seconds. Why?” She placed her cat on the floor, and Cheri stared at Brutus, then walked to him and settled down beside the Rottweiler as though that was where she belonged. Brutus gave her cat one look and closed his eyes.
Kate shrugged. “Just wondering.”
What had they been talking about? Lydia switched her attention to Jesse, his expression his usual neutral one whenever they were around each other. “Why are you here? Has something happened on the case?”
Jesse and Kate exchanged a glance. “Kate called me.”
“How? Why?” Her sister had met Jesse at the hospital and had seen him again when she’d come home from school earlier, but that had all been casual.
Kate scraped the chair back and shot to her feet, rounding on Lydia. “I called Bree and she gave me Jesse’s number. I started thinking about how someone might have been in the house, and I got scared.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“And you’d do what? You’re hurting. Bree was working, and David is tied up. I thought of asking Connor to come over, but then you’d freak out if you found him here.”
If she’d seen Connor, she probably would have. Connor reminded her of Aaron, and she didn’t want her sister to have anything to do with him, especially when she was sound asleep in another room. “I was wrong. I’m sure no one has been in the house while we were gone. The evening before the bombing, I was late going to bed, and I just didn’t shut the drawer all the way. I can’t even remember what happened at the bistro, let alone the night before.” I’m panicking at the small things.
Kate curled her hands and then uncurled them. “Yeah, I guess. Anyway, I’ve got homework.” She looked over her shoulder at Jesse. “Thanks for sitting here with me.”
“No problem.” He gave her a smile that died the second Kate left the kitchen.
Leaving them alone.
The past few minutes left Lydia drained. She sank onto the chair Kate had vacated. Brutus came over and put his head in her lap. She began stroking him, and the feel of his fur soothed her. Finally she looked up at Jesse, studying him.
“You should have called Thomas if you thought there was a chance someone was in your house.”
“But not you,” came out, and she wished she could take those words back. Even she could hear the regret in them. Cheri jumped up on the table and purred, then plopped down in front of Lydia while Brutus lay on the floor by her chair.
Jesse glanced out the window over the sink.
When she could no longer take the silence, Lydia made a decision. Right now she felt her life had shattered into hundreds of fragments. “I can’t change what happened, but I’m asking you to put what happened right after graduation in the past. I could use a friend right now.”
He swung his attention to her, but she couldn’t read anything in his expression. “What about Bree or Alex?”
“You knew me better than anyone did at one time.”
One eyebrow rose. “Did I? I used to think I did, but then you took off. One day you were here. The next gone and married.”
“I called you and left a message on your voice mail.”
“Yeah, at the airport right before you got on the plane to leave. With no real explanation.”
Stress knotted her shoulders and neck, the pain surpassing the ache from her bruised ribs. She remembered the tears she’d cried when she’d agreed to marry Aaron and leave. The disappointment on her father’s face was engraved in her mind—a vision she couldn’t shake even after all these years. She’d let everyone down, but mostly Jesse. He deserved better than her.
She swallowed several times, but still her throat was as dry as the ground in the midst of a severe drought. She walked to the sink and drank some water, then returned to the table, combing her fingers through Cheri’s thick white fur. “I couldn’t because we’d promised our parents we wouldn’t tell anyone.”
“What? That you were eloping?”
“That I was pregnant with—Aaron’s child.”
For a few seconds his mouth pressed together in a thin, hard line, and his eyes darkened. Then as though he realized he was showing his anger a shutter descended over his features. But she saw a tic in his jawline.
Finally after a long moment, he asked, “Where’s your child? With Aaron?”
That he would even think she’d let Aaron have full custody of her child devastated her. She rose, gripping the edge of the table and leaning into it. “I lost my little girl when I was seven months pregnant. I had to deliver her stillborn.” She spun on her heel and stalked toward the hallway.
She heard the sound of the chair being scooted across the tiles, and all she could think about was getting away from him before she fell apart and poured out the pain she’d locked deep inside.
He caught up with her and clasped her arm, stopping her escape. “I’m sorry, Lydia. I know how much you wanted children.”
A houseful, she’d once told him when they’d talked about the future. “Dreams have a way of changing,” she whispered, remembering the few times she’d dated after her divorce from Aaron. No one had been Jesse. Instead, she’d thrown her life into her career and her love of animals.
“Yes, I know.” His hand fell away from her.
And she missed his touch. For a second, she’d felt connected to him again like when they were teenagers.
“Why didn’t you come back to Alaska?”
“I was married to Aaron and I took that seriously. I wanted to make our marriage work even after our daughter died.”
“What happened?”
“He had an affair with one of his professors while I worked to support us and allowed him to go to college full-time.”
“He came back here a couple of years ago with an older woman as a traveling companion. He talked with Thomas but didn’t get in touch with me.” One corner of his mouth hitched up. “Good thing, too, even though I didn’t know all the details of your elopement.” He swept his arm toward the table. “I’ll warm up some pizza while we talk about what happened earlier. Kate had herself worked up by the time I arrived.”
His