Somehow that recognition pained her.
“I’m just glad you’re alive and well,” Jeannie said. “And know we’re all only a phone call away if you have any questions.”
“I appreciate it. Please stay for dinner.” Shana bit her lip. Wishing she had something more to say. Wishing this whole meeting could somehow miraculously deliver up the memories she sought, for herself and for her child. And for this sexy man at her side? For the love she must have lost?
Why was it so difficult to wrap her brain around?
Disappointment swamped her.
In spite of Chuck’s family’s warm welcome, Shana still couldn’t shake an unsettled feeling.
She couldn’t stop searching for a reason why she was so certain there was trouble in paradise.
Chuck leaned on the door frame, hand up in a static wave as darkness flooded the horizon. The light from his sister’s car blinded him ever so briefly as she threw her SUV into Reverse. He was still unsure how the events of the last several hours had gone.
Running a hand through his thick hair, he stretched, his neck popping. Releasing some of the tension he’d carried.
The night had been an exercise in dodging one land mine after another, worrying about what his family might reveal. He appreciated their concern, and Shana had been emphatic about seeing them, hoping somehow that their appearance would break the dam to release her memories.
All the more reason for him to hustle them out the door. If only he’d managed to dissuade Shana from inviting them in the first place. But to push her to wait would have made her suspicious. He needed her calm. He needed to gain time with Shana, time enough to forge a connection strong enough that she wouldn’t leave.
All the more reason he was glad to see his family off. Finally, the last of them had left. Exhaling hard, Chuck closed the door and armed the security system.
Shana should be resting. She was fresh out of the hospital, pregnant and disoriented. Although she’d seemed to welcome the distraction of other people in the house, most likely to keep from being alone with him.
At least his family had been sensitive enough not to mention their marital problems. However, his mother had pulled out photo albums in an attempt to help jog Shana’s memories—including his and Shana’s wedding pictures, none of which had sparked the least bit of remembrance. A relief. And strangely irksome as well.
Chuck scrubbed a hand over his jaw, striding past the dining room, cleared by extra staff he’d hired to help during Shana’s recovery. Even though he now employed a chef, his family had left behind enough food for an army even though they’d all eaten their fill until the candles had burned down in the silver candelabras. Even as he’d wished them gone, he’d been grateful for the positive spin they’d put on his marriage. Their presence had given off a happy family vibe he needed to stress with his wife.
As much as he told himself to take one day at a time, Chuck found he needed to have this settled, to know Shana would be staying with him. There was no room for compromise on this matter.
A few steps farther down the corridor, he discovered Shana in the study, reading on the sofa, a mug of hot cocoa on the coffee table. A blaze roared in the fireplace. Above, snow piled on the skylights, hiding nearly all of the inky night sky. Her hair was loose down her back, her legs curled up under her.
So many times, he’d found her like this in the past. In the early days of their marriage, he wouldn’t have thought twice about joining her there, skimming his hands up her lovely legs. Kissing her senseless. Peeling her clothes away until they were both naked, the firelight licking shadows over their skin.
At one time, he’d thought they had a future. Now...
He had to ensure that her future—his child’s future—included him.
Perhaps he could recover some ease with her in this room, in a space where they’d been happy. So often they’d shared time in the study, both of them in here while he’d worked from home. Even a year ago, they had still been close enough that he could distract her from her work with a neck massage, or an impromptu dance when her favorite song popped into the speakers from her playlist. Hopefully, those moments would happen again someday soon.
Because no matter what the past had held for them, or what the future promised, he still desired her.
He knelt on one knee by the sofa. “How are you feeling?”
“Exhausted, but cared for.” She bit her lip before continuing, “I’d hoped meeting your family would spark memories, but no luck.”
Guilt pinched, but it was best for all of them if she didn’t remember right away.
Or ever.
He picked up her hand and held it loosely, keeping himself in check. How easy it would be to sit on the sofa and pull her into his lap. “Shana, I know this has to be awkward for you.”
It had been so long since they’d shared that kind of ease.
“That’s an understatement.” Her eyes held his for a moment before she eased her hand away. She searched the room, her gaze never lingering long on any one spot. He followed her frenzied survey, taking in the bookshelves that arched high to the ceiling. Those shelves had been one of the things she’d loved most about this place, along with the greenhouse. He remembered how her face had lit up at the thought of a ladder leading to books wrapped around the room.
She showed no signs of remembrance on her face.
Giving her space—for now—he pushed to his feet. “I want you to know I’ll be sleeping in the guest room.”
“Thank you. I realize this is tough for you, too.”
“That’s an understatement.” He repeated her words, except for his own reasons. “But I know it’s far worse for you. I want you to take your time, take care of yourself, and the baby.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
He was walking a tightrope, needing to give her space, but working with a ticking time bomb that meant she could remember their past at any moment.
For now, though, there was peace.
Since she was settled, this would be a neutral time to check on work without worrying about her getting angry at him.
He slid behind the desk and fired up his laptop, watching Shana out of the corner of his eye.
She shifted on the sofa and hugged a throw pillow over her stomach where their child was nestled, growing. “What are you working on?”
“Clearing away paperwork so I’ll have more days off to spend with you.”
“I’m not an invalid. And my mother will be here for a week.” She tipped her head to the side. “Are you one of those guys who can’t stand his mother-in-law?”
He weighed his words carefully as the truth could be tricky on this one. Her mom—Louise—had never seemed to warm to him. But then, she didn’t trust many people. Life had left her overcautious.
“About four years ago your mother took a job in California.” Louise was a civilian employed nurse at a military installation. “Most of the time, you visited her rather than having her coming back here.”
“Hmm...” Shana seemed to digest the information, glancing