And Rafe had come so close to quenching that fire. When his mother had been diagnosed with cancer, and his family had descended into a state of restrained crisis, Mimi had wanted to help, had fought him to let her in. But Rafe couldn’t. He’d already perfected the art of hiding whatever pain life threw at him and he didn’t know how to do anything else.
He didn’t blame her for giving up on him, but it had hurt all the more because Mimi never gave up on anything. Lying with her in their bed, unable to either sleep or to share his anguish, had taught Rafe the nature of true loneliness. Leaving had been his way of keeping her safe from the silence that had descended on their home.
That was all history now. He’d thought it could never change but, as the door of the supervisor’s office opened and he saw Mimi walk towards him, he began to wonder. He’d measured his failure in their relationship by the lack of emotion she’d shown when he left, but now anger was stamped all over her face and he had little doubt that most of it was directed at him.
‘Everything okay?’
She shook her head. ‘There are no spare vehicles and no one for me to partner with. They’re sending me home...’
‘Unless?’ Rafe had seen enough of the situation here to be able to guess what Mimi’s options were.
Her face was set in an expression of almost believable remorse. ‘I apologise for what I said. I should have thanked you for getting me out of the way of that rope when it broke.’
Mimi was still thinking about that? Then Rafe realised that this was the precursor to something else.
‘You’re welcome. I apologise for what I said too. I had no real intention of tying you to a tree.’ However appealing the thought had been at the time.
‘No. It didn’t really occur to me that you did. I think we were both letting off a bit of steam.’ She screwed her face into a frown. ‘My controller... He says that if you need any help I could always tag along with you.’
Deep down inside a primitive sense of triumph pulled at him. However much she disliked the idea, Mimi needed him. Rafe tried to think dispassionately. Two would be more effective than one, and he’d be able take more calls. Unless, of course, they spent the rest of the evening bickering over old grudges.
‘Do you think that’s going to work?’
Mimi took a deep breath, as if she was suppressing the urge to solve the problem by killing him and taking his car keys. ‘I’ll make it work, Rafe. I can’t sit this out; I’ll go crazy at home.’
There wasn’t even a decision to make. Turning down any assistance, let alone that of a trained paramedic, would be reckless at a time like this. ‘Happy to have you along. I’d appreciate the help.’
That was that, then. There was a lot of unresolved anger between them, but if they could put that aside this could work.
They stood for a moment staring at each other and then Mimi broke the silence.
‘Look, this is difficult, but we could make it a lot easier.’
‘Yeah, I guess we could. I’d like that...’ Rafe remembered not to call her Mimi this time. That was just the kind of thing that might shatter this unstable truce.
‘We’ll make a new start, shall we?’
Pretend that none of it had ever happened? That he hadn’t loved her and then left her, and that resentment wasn’t colouring everything they did now. It was a tough prospect, but if that was what it took... It was, in fact, an opportunity. If there was unfinished business between them, then maybe now was the time to finish it for good.
‘Yes. Okay, I’d like that. New start.’
* * *
Mimi felt better now that she’d had a chance to wash her face and comb her hair. She folded Rafe’s sweater, making a conscious effort not to bury her face into its softness, trying to catch one last trace of his scent. This was hard.
She stuffed the sweater into a bag, dragged her jacket on and marched out into the rain. He was sitting in the car, waiting for her. Her colleague. The one she’d slept with once upon a time, but that had been a mistake and it was all finished now.
‘Ready?’ She settled herself into the front seat of the car.
He nodded, turning the radio down until it was just a gentle beat, swallowed up by the drumming of the rain on the windscreen. ‘Yep. First one’s near Shillingford. We’ll have to go through Eardwell.’
Her home village. ‘Yes, that’s the best way.’
‘You want to call in on Charlie?’
‘He’s... I spoke to him a few minutes ago. He says everything’s okay.’ Mimi wished that Charlie would accept her help a little more readily, but she knew better than to fuss.
‘How’s he doing?’
‘A lot better. He plays in a wheelchair basketball team now.’
‘Sounds as if he’s a great deal more independent.’
‘Yeah. As time went by we all learned how to make that happen.’ The cottage that she and Rafe had rented, just across the road from Charlie’s place, had been a factor in that. Close enough to help, without crowding her brother. When Rafe had said he was moving, to take up a new job and be closer to his mother, he’d known full well that Mimi couldn’t abandon Charlie and follow him.
‘I don’t suppose he’s got a spare flask he can lend us. If he could fill it up with coffee it would be even better.’
She couldn’t help but smile. Rafe and Charlie had always got on well, and it seemed that Rafe still cared about her brother enough to find an excuse to pop in and see whether he was all right. ‘You want a sandwich as well?’
‘Sounds good. Call him and tell him we’re coming.’ Rafe swung the car out of the hospital car park and on to the road.
* * *
Rafe drove the familiar route, which he’d used to call the road home. He hadn’t reckoned on it being quite so hard. When he stopped outside their cottage, it looked just the same as it always had, the white render gleaming pale in the pouring rain like a ghost from his past.
‘You’re still here?’ He tried to make the question sound as casual as possible, as if there hadn’t been a time when he had dreamed about walking back to that door every night.
There was a slight pause, as if she was weighing up whether it was all right to answer. ‘Yes. I bought the place.’
‘Mrs Bates died?’ The elderly woman who had owned the cottage had gone into a nursing home and her family had rented the property out.
‘Yes. Four years ago. The family didn’t want the cottage and decided to sell, so I put in an offer.’
‘Smart move...’ Rafe bit his tongue. He wasn’t in a position to give Mimi advice on what to do with her life any more. All the same, he’d thought more than once that if the roomy cottage they’d rented ever came on to the market they should put in an offer for it.
She nodded as if she didn’t want to discuss it any more, and rather unnecessarily pointed to the driveway of Charlie’s one-storey house, right across the road. It had only been five years, not a century. And Rafe hadn’t forgotten.
He got as close to the front door as he could and switched the engine off, leaning back in his seat in an unequivocal signal that he’d wait. Turning up here with Mimi wasn’t the most tactful of things to do.
‘Come and say hello to Charlie.’ She shot him a pretty fair counterfeit of a welcoming smile.
‘I thought... Wouldn’t you prefer me to stay here?’
‘I told him you were here when I spoke to him. He’s not