Anton came and looked at the baby. The paediatrician was finishing up checking him over as Louise watched.
‘He looks good,’ Anton said.
‘So good,’ Louise agreed, and then smiled at the baby’s worried-looking face. He was wearing the concerned expression that a lot of small-for-dates babies had. ‘And so hungry!’
The paediatrician went to have a word with the parents to explain their baby’s care as Louise wrapped him up in a tight parcel and popped a little hat on him.
‘How does it feel,’ Louise asked Anton, ‘to have been there at conception and delivery?’ She started to laugh at her own question. ‘That sounds rude! You know what I mean.’
‘I was just saying to Hannah this morning that it has never happened to me before. So this little one is a bit more special,’ Anton admitted. ‘I’m going to go and write my notes. I’ll be back to check on Hannah in a while.’
‘Well, I’ll be going home soon,’ Louise said, ‘but I’ll pass it all on.’ She picked up the baby. ‘Come on, little man, let’s get you back to your mum.’
She didn’t rush home then either, though. Louise helped with the baby’s first feed, though he quickly tired and would need gavage top-ups. Having put him under a warmer beside his parents, she then went and made Hannah a massive mug of tea. Anton, who was getting a cup of tea of his own, watched as she went into her pocket and took out a teabag.
‘Why do you keep teabags in your pocket?’
‘Would you want that …’ she sneered at the hospital teabags on the bench ‘… if you’d just pushed a baby out?’
‘No.’
‘There’s your answer, then. I make sure my mums get one nice cup of tea after they’ve given birth and then they wonder their entire stay in hospital why the rest of them taste so terrible after that,’ Louise said. ‘It’s my service to women.’ She went back into her pocket and gave him a teabag and Anton took it because the hospital tea really was that bad. ‘Here, but that’s not the drink I owe you for this morning. You’ll get that later.’
He actually smiled at someone who wasn’t a patient. ‘I’ll see you tonight,’ Louise said, and their eyes met, just for a second but Anton was the one who looked away, and with good reason.
Yes, Anton thought, she would see him tonight but here endeth the flirting.
LOUISE LIVED FAIRLY close to the hospital and arrived at her small terraced home just after five to a ringing phone.
She did consider not answering it because she was already running late but, seeing that it was her mum, Louise picked up.
‘I can’t talk for long,’ Louise warned, and then spent half an hour chatting about plans for Christmas Day.
‘Mum!’ Louise said, for the twentieth time. ‘I’m on days off after Christmas Eve all the way till after New Year. I’ve told you that I’ll be there for Christmas Day.’
‘You said you’d be there last year,’ Susan pointed out.
‘Can we not go through that again,’ Louise said, regretting the hurt she had caused last year by not telling her parents the truth about what had been going on in her life. ‘I was just trying to—’
‘Well, don’t ever do that again,’ Susan said. ‘I can’t bear that you chose to spend Christmas miserable and alone in some hotel rather than coming home to your family.’
‘You know why I did, Mum,’ Louise said, and then conceded, ‘But I know now that I should have just come home.’ She flicked the lights of her Christmas tree to on, smiling as she did so. ‘Mum, I honestly can’t wait for Christmas.’
‘Neither can I. I’ve ordered the turkey,’ Susan said, ‘and I’m going to try something extra-special for Boxing Day—kedgeree …’
‘Is that the thing with fish and eggs?’ Louise checked.
‘And curry powder,’ Susan agreed.
‘That’s great, Mum,’ Louise said, pulling a face because her mother was the worst cook in the world. The trouble was, though, that Susan considered herself an amazing cook! Louise ached for her dad sometimes, he was the kindest, most patient man, only that had proved part of the problem—the compliments he’d first given had gone straight to Susan’s head and, in the kitchen, she thought she could do no wrong. ‘Mum, I’d love to chat more but I have to go now and get ready, it’s the theatre Christmas night out. I’ll call you soon.’
‘Well, enjoy.’
‘I shall.’
‘Oh, one other thing before you go,’ Susan said. ‘Did you get the referral for the specialist?’
‘Not yet,’ Louise sighed. ‘She says she wants me to have a full six months off the Pill before she refers me …’ Louise thought for a moment. She really wasn’t happy with her GP. ‘I know I said that I didn’t want to go to The Royal for this but it might be the best place.’
‘I think you’re right,’ Susan said. ‘I didn’t like to say so at the time but I don’t think she took you very seriously.’
Louise nodded then glanced at the clock. So much for a quick chat!
‘I have to get ready, Mum.’
‘Well, if you do go to The Royal, let me know when and I’ll come with you …
‘I will,’ Louise said, and then there were all the I love yous and Do you want a quick word with Dad?
Louise smiled as she put down the phone because, apart from her cooking, Louise knew that she had the best mum and possibly the best family in the world.
Her dad was the most patient person and Louise’s two younger sisters were amazing young women who rang Louise often, and they all got on very well.
This was part of the reason why she hadn’t wanted to spoil Christmas for everyone last year and had pretended that something had happened at work. At the time it had seemed kinder to say that they were short-staffed rather than arrive home in such a fragile state on Christmas morning and ruin everyone’s day.
Her sisters looked up to her and often asked her opinion on guys; it had been hard, admitting how badly she had judged Wesley. Even a part of the truth had hurt them and her dad would just about die if he knew even half of what had really gone on.
Louise lay on her bed while her bath was running, thinking back to that terrible time. Not just the breakup with Wesley but the horrible lonely time before it.
Louise’s wings had been clipped during their relationship. Seriously clipped, to the point that she had given up her modelling side job, which she loved. Somehow, she wasn’t quite sure how it had happened, her hems had got lower, her hair darker until her sparkle had almost been extinguished.
At a work function Wesley had loathed that she had chatted with Rory, an anaesthetist who was also ex-boyfriend of Louise’s from way back.
She and Rory had remained very good friends up to that point.
Louise had given Wesley the benefit of the doubt after that first toxic row. Yes, she’d decided, it wasn’t unreasonable for him to be jealous that she was so friendly with her ex. She had severed things with Rory, which had been hard to do and had caused considerable hurt when she had.
It hadn’t stopped there, though.
Wesley hadn’t liked Emily, Louise’s close friend, either. He hadn’t liked their odd nights out or their phone calls and texting and gradually that had