And then he’d said, ‘Kate—look. I’m not sure what just happened—hell. ‘He’d run a hand through his hair and his expletive had made her flinch. His eyes had speared her again. ‘I don’t sleep with friends of my sister. You’re just a kid, Kate, what the hell were you thinking?’
Tears had pricked behind Kate’s eyes at the unfairness of that statement. Until just moments ago he’d been with her all the way … And then for an awful moment she doubted that it had even happened the way she’d thought. Had he in fact been trying to push her away all along, and she’d been so ardent she hadn’t even noticed? A sensation of excruciating vulnerability had crawled up her spine and she’d called on every single bit of training she possessed. All the years of her mother instructing her not to show emotion, to be pretty and placid.
‘Look, Tiarnan, it’s no big deal. I just wanted …’
She’d racked her shocked and malfunctioning brain for something to say—something to make it seem as if she didn’t care. As if kissing him hadn’t been the single most cataclysmic thing that had ever happened to her. Because he was Tiarnan Quinn, and he didn’t do tender kissing scenes with his little sister’s best friend and she should have realised that …
She repeated her words and shrugged. ‘I just wanted to kiss you.’ She felt exposed and numb. Cold. ‘I wanted to lose my virginity, and you … well, I know you, and it seemed—’
Tiarnan had jerked back as if shot, staring down at her with eyes as cold as ice. ‘What? As if I’d do because I was handy and available? You don’t pull your punches, Kate …’
His face was stonily impenetrable. ‘Do you know, it’s funny,’ he said, almost to himself. ‘I might have actually assumed for a moment that you were different …’ He shook his head. ‘But women never cease to amaze me. Even an innocent like you.’
He’d come close, making a violent tremor go through her whole body, before he’d casually picked up his dinner jacket from where she had pushed it off his shoulders onto the floor. His voice had been so cold it had made her shiver, her hands clench tight.
‘Go and find yourself a boy your own age, Kate. He’ll be much more gentle and understanding than I ever could be.’
And then he’d cupped her chin with his big hand, forcing her gaze upwards to his. She’d gritted her jaw against his fingers.
‘And when you’ve finished with him, go easy on the others … you’re undoubtedly a consummate seductress in the making. I’ve already met the mature version of the woman you’ll undoubtedly become.’
And within a scant week of that soul-destroying little speech, before Kate had had time to gather the tattered shreds of her dignity, news had broken of Tiarnan’s impending parenthood with his South American ex-girlfriend. Rumours had abounded of upcoming nuptials, which had shortly afterwards been confirmed. Evidently his most recent association with the dark beauty Stella Rios had resulted in more than a kiss goodbye. And, even more evidently, renowned playboy and bachelor Tiarnan Quinn was happy to settle down overnight and avoid the clumsy moves of a woman like her.
Kate sighed. Raking up the past was no help, but the memories were still so fresh, the hurt still like a deep raw wound. That night she’d attempted to play with fire and had been badly burnt. She’d been shocked at how deeply Tiarnan’s cynicism had run. His easy cruelty had dealt her a harsh first lesson in allowing herself to be vulnerable. And the fact that he’d read her so wrong had hurt more than she could say.
When would she ever be free of his hold over her? Especially now that he’d made it obvious he still desired her? At least before she hadn’t had to contend with being the target of Tiarnan’s attention … and she knew how determined he could be. He hadn’t made his fortune and become one of the most influential men in the world through lack of determination. Now that he knew her weakness for him he would pursue her with single-mindedness until she gave in. Until she was powerless before him.
A flutter of traitorous excitement snuck into her belly, cancelling out the knot of tension even as Kate tried to reject the accompanying thought—a mere dark whisper of a suggestion: What if she gave in? She immediately rejected the audacious thought outright, aghast that her sense of pride had even let it surface.
But it wouldn’t go, staying and growing bigger in her mind with obstinate persistence. And with it came an awful feeling of rightness, of inevitability. A surge of desire flared in the pit of her belly, between her legs, all the stronger because she’d been so desperately suppressing it.
But what if she looked at it as Tiarnan was so obviously looking at it? He had no idea she’d never really got over that night—had no idea and never would know that he’d hurt her so deeply. He had no idea that she’d all but believed herself to have become frigid. And he had no idea that last night had proved to her that she wasn’t frigid; she was just inexplicably bound to one man. Him. A playboy who could never give her the stability she needed, who would undoubtedly hurt her all over again.
Kate clenched her fists, a sense of anger rising at his implicit power over her. Maybe she needed to play him at his own game? Perhaps the only way she could ever truly get over Tiarnan would be to give in? Allow this seduction. Render his hold over her impotent by sating her desire. It had to be because that kiss that night had assumed mythical proportions in her head. Despite her reaction to him just last night, who was to say if it went further he wouldn’t have exactly the same effect as every other man had had? Ultimately one of disappointment.
If she slept with him—if she got him out of her system and negated his hold over her, restored the balance of his initial rejection—perhaps then she could walk away, not look back, and find the peace and happiness she craved in her life. Find someone to love, settle down with.
She’d had a fantasy vision of the life she wanted to create for herself ever since she’d been a small girl and had realised that her mother loved herself far more than she loved her, and that her father cared only about his work—to the point where it eventually killed him prematurely. Her life would be as far from her emotionally barren childhood as she could get, and while she knew that a man like Tiarnan Quinn was never going to play the starring role in that scenario, was this in fact an opportunity to gain closure? His words last night came back to her: Unfinished business. Wasn’t that all he was to her too?
For the first time all night, as dawn broke in earnest outside, Kate felt peace steal over her like a complicit traitor.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s really going on?
Kate sat down heavily on her bed and bit her lip. Her knuckles were white around the mobile phone she held to her ear. Her open suitcase, half packed on the floor, said it all, and she didn’t have to look at the clock to know she’d already missed her flight to New York.
She closed her eyes. ‘Tiarnan’s invited me to go to Martinique with him and Rosie for a holiday, and I’ve said yes.’
‘Yes, I know that, Kate.’
Kate’s belly felt queasy. Sorcha never called her Kate unless she was upset.
Her friend continued. ‘I’ve just been talking to Tiarnan, and—oh, I don’t know—a few things aren’t exactly adding up: like the fact that little more than a week ago my brother paid a fortune to kiss you in front of hundreds of people when he avoided a public display of affection even on his wedding day; like you’re still in his house in Madrid and tomorrow you’re heading to a tropical paradise together.’
‘With Rosie too,’ Kate quickly asserted—as if that could save her now.
‘Kate Lancaster, please give me some credit.’
The hurt in her friend’s voice was unmistakable, and Kate’s heart clenched painfully.
‘Don’t