‘I was eighteen.’
He gave a contemptuous laugh. ‘Don’t plead your age as an excuse. You were old enough to go to bed with me—and as I remember you didn’t take much persuading.’ Turning his face to the sky, he exhaled raggedly as if he had hoped to find the answer there.
There were no words to touch Santino’s grief and nothing Kate could do to stop the memories flooding into her mind, memories that only reminded her in the cruellest way possible that Francesca was all she had left now. Meredith and Caddy were wonderful, but the bond between a mother and child was like no other. It could fill you with the most tremendous joy, or break you with unimaginable sorrow. But she couldn’t think about that now. She had to find a way to reach Santino or risk losing Francesca.
Even as Santino brutalised her with words there was so much she wanted to say to him, so much she wanted to share, so much he should be told. So much that tragically, now, would always be left unsaid. What was the point in heaping more pain and grief on top of the rest? What was the point in confiding in a man who didn’t want to hear what she had to say? She had known too much loss to risk more. She had to think about Francesca now and remember how lucky she was, and not stare backwards into the past longing for what was lost.
Kate’s anxiety levels rose as Santino started walking away. ‘Where are you going?’ But she could see where he was going. He was heading back towards the restaurant where Francesca was waiting. Who knew what he might do? Anything was possible. She ran after him and grabbed his arm.
He shook her off angrily. ‘Don’t try to stop me going to my daughter. Just get away from me.’
She was no longer required, here, or in his organisation, or in his life. But retreat wasn’t an option and so she ran after him again. ’Santino … Please, I know how hurt you must be—’
‘You have no idea,’ he assured her without breaking stride.
‘Please, Santino, for Francesca’s sake, we must—’
‘We?’ He stopped dead. ‘There is no we. Surely you don’t imagine I would trust you with the smallest decision where my daughter is concerned?’
Kate had started to shake uncontrollably. ‘You have to listen to me, Santino. You have no choice.’
‘No choice?’ He smiled at her in a way that made her quake. ‘Is that a fact?’
‘I am Francesca’s mother—’
‘Yes, her mother?’ Santino declared with scorn. ‘And like all mothers you think only of yourself.’
His comment filled Kate’s mind with unanswered questions. As he started to walk away she ran and stood in front of him again.
He made an angry gesture as if to brush her aside. ‘Like all women, you think you can lie and cheat and get away with it, don’t you, Kate?’
He gave her no chance to respond. But as each cruel accusation rained down on her Kate found that, instead of being frightened, she was filled with the unnatural calm of a person who had nothing left to lose. ‘Is this what you’ll tell our daughter when Francesca grows to be a woman?’ Kate’s voice was laced with sadness and for the first time she noticed Santino’s gaze shift uncomfortably. ‘You asked me how this could happen.’ Kate took a deep breath. The last thing she wanted was Santino’s pity, but for Francesca’s sake she had to do this. ‘When my parents discovered I was pregnant they threw me out of the house. Aunt Meredith took me in—’
‘And still you didn’t think to try and find me?’ Santino swiftly returned to the attack. ‘Even when you were safe with your aunt you didn’t think to tell me I had a daughter? No, why should you? You had assumed that I was the worst type of man. You had decided I would turn my back on you. You didn’t give me a chance. Why should you tell me anything when your life with Meredith was so comfortable?’
‘Don’t bring Meredith into this,’ Kate warned. Fire flooded back into her veins as she leapt to her aunt’s defence. ‘Meredith has never done you any harm and she is a most wonderful grandmother for Francesca. I won’t have you run her down—’
‘You’re in no position to make demands on me, but I apologise to Meredith.’ Santino’s tone left Kate in no doubt that she was excluded from his magnanimous gesture.
How could she have done things any differently? Should she have told Santino about Francesca five years ago when the gossipmongers had still been chewing over the latest woman to accuse him of fathering her child? Should she have exposed Francesca to the repercussions of that in later life when she might be taunted by old newspaper accounts? Should she have thrown herself on the mercy of a man she didn’t know? Should she have run the risk that Santino would claim Francesca and turn his back on her, as her own parents had done?
Kate still believed she had done the right thing, because whatever she had done wrong or imperfectly she had maintained stability in Francesca’s life and she wouldn’t apologise for that. ‘I didn’t think you’d want to know, and so I made the only decision I could under the circumstances.’
‘You made decisions that weren’t yours to make. You set yourself up in judgement over me. What gave you that right? Who are you to decide if I should or shouldn’t be told that I have a child? I had a right to know about Francesca, and she had a right to know I am her father. You should have tried to find me immediately. You should have appointed a legal representative to raise the matter at a court of law in Rome—’
‘A court of law in Rome?’ Kate cut across Santino, shuddering inwardly as she imagined the outcome if she had tried to do so. She only had to look into his cold, dark eyes to know she wouldn’t have stood a chance. ‘Are you suggesting a single mother without money or influence should have tried to take on the Roman establishment? Can’t you understand that all I was interested in was keeping my baby safe?’
‘And I would have harmed her?’ Santino’s expression grew blacker than ever. ‘You’re full of excuses, but all I can see is that you cheated me of my daughter and you cheated Francesca out of her father—’
‘That’s not true!’ Kate was stung to the quick by Santino’s accusation that she would do anything to hurt Francesca. ‘It wasn’t like that! I didn’t know you, Santino. I didn’t know what type of man you were—’
‘You weren’t so scrupulous five years ago in my bed!’
They both stiffened and turned reluctantly as Caddy came outside to look for them.
‘Diane Fox,’ Santino remembered, cursing softly under his breath. ‘We have to go back inside. We have to make everything seem normal. We have to be civil to my new director and make our introductions as if nothing had occurred.’
‘No, Santino, I can’t.’
‘You must,’ he insisted harshly.
In this he was right, Kate accepted. The last thing Francesca needed was the whole world knowing that Santino Rossi and Kate Mulhoon shared a colourful past. Kate knew it was imperative she put all this to one side and act as if there were nothing between them other than a working relationship. And so when Caddy waved and called out to them she smiled, and when they walked inside together she and Santino greeted everyone with practised charm and total professionalism.
Kate was on automatic pilot for the next few hours, maintaining the smile on her face and pretending interest in everything and everyone. But she couldn’t forget Santino’s bitter words or the threat behind them, and they continued to override everything else in her mind. She had to remind herself time after time that she had a job to do. Caddy needed someone to take care of the minutiae of her life so she could