For a moment, it seemed that finally she’d managed to offend him. And then he smiled. ‘I’m a doctor and it’s my mission. You have a mission?’
‘Yes. I suppose I do.’
‘Then you’ll understand the compelling nature of it. Weakness on my part can only undermine the message I’m trying to give.’
Nell swallowed hard, trying to clear the rapidly growing lump in her throat. ‘Or...it might be seen as a strength. That you understand...’
‘My job is to make things happen. And I’ll freely admit that I’m a prime example of someone who hasn’t followed the most basic advice and sought help at the first signs of any problem with my heart. Which is inexcusable, since I have a very clear understanding of what those signs are.’
So he couldn’t allow himself this. In Hugo’s mind, his illness gave him feet of clay. Nell might disagree, but it was his decision.
‘What you choose to share about your own medical issues is entirely up to you. Of course, I’ll say nothing.’
He nodded. ‘Thank you. I see from your CV that you’ve taken an interest in the psychological aspects of recovery from heart disease.’
Something about his tone gave Nell the impression that this irritated him. ‘Yes, that’s right. I did a module on the psychology of recovery at medical school, and when I decided to specialise in cardiac medicine, it seemed very relevant. I co-authored a study on patients’ post-operative experiences, in partnership with doctors from five other hospitals.’
‘I’d be interested in reading it.’ He turned the corners of his mouth down, and Nell felt her muscles in her stomach twist. Maybe he’d decided that questioning whether he needed a doctor wasn’t enough, and that he’d take a leaf from her ex-boss’s book and undermine her by questioning her professional ability.
She stared at him, wordlessly, and Hugo smiled suddenly. ‘I’d be interested to know which category of patient I fall into.’
That charm again. That smile, which seemed calculated to make Nell’s head spin and throw her off guard. ‘Psychology isn’t a matter of putting people into boxes, it’s a way of understanding what’s there. I’m sure you know that already.’
Perhaps she should mention that understanding exactly why Hugo was so desperate to pretend that there was nothing wrong with him would be a good start in getting him on the road to recovery. Or maybe she should wait until Hugo was ready to voice that idea for himself, even if scraping through the layers of charm and getting him to admit to anything seemed likely to be a long process.
‘Yes, I do. And please forgive me if my welcome has fallen short of expectations. Your presence here wasn’t my choice, it’s my father who thinks I need a minder.’
Nell swallowed down the temptation to take the bait. ‘I’m a doctor. If my duty of care to you, as my patient, makes me seem like a minder then...’ She shrugged.
Hugo leaned forward, the cushion at his side slipping to the floor. ‘Why don’t you go ahead and say it? I can take it.’
If he thought that she couldn’t look into his green eyes and say exactly what she meant, he was going to find out differently. Nell met his gaze and felt shivers run down her spine. Okay, so it was difficult to do. But not impossible.
‘If you think that I’m here to be your minder, then that says a lot more about your approach to this than it does mine.’
‘I suppose it does. But I want to make one thing clear. Duty to my father and professional courtesy to you require that I listen to your advice. But I have specific goals, in connection with a project at the hospital, that need to be met over the next six weeks. I won’t allow anything to get in the way of that.’
‘Even at the cost of your own health?’
‘I can handle it.’
The battle lines had been drawn, and in the heat of his gaze it felt almost exhilarating. Then Nell came to her senses.
In the last three weeks, Hugo had faced a crisis. If that appeared to have had no effect on him, then maybe that just meant he was more adept at covering his emotions than most. He was hurting and unable to trust his own body any more, and if his reaction to that was stubborn failure to face facts, it was her job to get him to a place where he felt strong enough to admit how he felt.
His smouldering green eyes were suddenly too much for her to bear, and she looked away. ‘Compromising on the way you get there doesn’t necessarily mean you have to abandon your goals. Let me help you.’
He thought for a moment. ‘What kind of compromise did you have in mind?’
Nell took a deep breath. This might be the first of many hurdles, but she’d made a start. ‘I don’t know yet. I’ll need to examine you first and hear exactly what your commitments are. Then we can talk about it.’
‘All right.’ He smiled suddenly, as if he’d just remembered that he ought to do so. ‘I’ll make an effort to be a model patient.’
Somehow Nell doubted that. ‘I appreciate the thought. But you’ve a long way to go before you qualify for the title of my most awkward patient.’
This time Hugo really smiled. ‘Shame. I’ll have to try harder.’
‘Yes, you will.’ Nell rose from her seat, picking the cushion up from the floor and putting it back in place, behind his shoulder. ‘You can plan your strategy while I go and get my medical bag.’
Maybe his father knew him better than Hugo had thought. His doctor at the hospital had been highly qualified, deferential, and had treated the whole thing as if it were an afternoon at a health spa. Nell was something different. Honest, no-nonsense and quite capable of cutting him down to size when he tried all the usual diversionary tactics.
Dr Penelope. He didn’t dare call her that, she’d told him she preferred Nell. Which was charming in its own way but didn’t seem to sum her up quite so well. Fierce, beautiful and unstoppable.
It was a little easier to think when she was out of the room. A little easier to remind himself of the flat in London, right at the top of a tenement block, where the lift sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t.
A little pang of regret for times that had seemed altogether simpler. The sofa that had creaked slightly under the weight of two people too tired to move and yet happy to just be together. The awful green bedspread that Anna had chosen, and which hadn’t matched the curtains but which Hugo had liked because she had. It had been the one time in Hugo’s life when duty hadn’t weighed heavy on his shoulders. All he’d needed to do was work hard at medical school and love the woman who shared his life.
He’d brought Anna back to Montarino, two newly minted doctors, full of so many possibilities and dreams. The ring on her finger had been replaced by something more befitting a princess, but Anna had always preferred the old one, which Hugo had saved for out of his allowance. It wasn’t until she’d left that Hugo had stopped to think that maybe she had been unhappy at the palace.
And that had been his doing. Anna had trained to be a doctor, not a princess. She had fitted the bill well enough, but it hadn’t been her mission in life. Hugo had been too intent on pursuing his own mission to see that until it had been too late and Anna had been packing her bags, a ticket back to London with her name on it lying on the bed.
‘If you’d just looked, Hugo, you would have seen that this isn’t enough for me. I have a career, too.’
There had been nothing that he could say because he had known in his heart that Anna was right. He’d let her go, and had watched from afar as she’d risen to the top of her chosen field, like a cork held