Grace knew she should have smiled, but it was a feeble attempt at a joke and she had just put him back onto her list of possibles again. In fact, it was hardly a list—his being the only name on it.
‘And being blunt and abrasive…’ she said, deciding it was better to get things out into the open as soon as possible. That way she’d know where she stood. ‘I wondered if I could ask you something.’
‘You didn’t ask if you could ask before asking me all kinds of personal questions yesterday,’ he reminded her, leaning back against the doorjamb in a way that made all the muscles of his chest stand out so all of a sudden he was an extremely sexy man as well as a colleague.
Sexy man? What was she thinking?
She forced her mind back to her problem.
‘Well, this is really very personal to me and very private so I have to believe that if I ask, you won’t repeat it.’
He didn’t answer, which she took for assent, but the words she needed were jammed in her throat.
Not easy words to say in any circumstances and she’d got off on the wrong foot with this man…
Make amends first?
‘Are you finished for the day? I feel after last night I owe you a meal. I ruined your dinner, firstly by ordering your favourite pizza, although you could still have ordered it, then by asking intrusive questions. Could we go there again—or somewhere else—and I’ll pay?’
What was with this woman? Theo watched her as she pulled on a skirt, tucking the shirt she’d put on earlier efficiently into the waistband. Even the way she dressed said a lot about her—neat, classy in an understated way, yet still…prim was the only word! But the questions she’d been asking didn’t go with that image any more than the classic but boring clothes could successfully hide her sexy body.
Although if he hadn’t seen her nearly naked, might he have been quite so aware of it?
And was it because of the sexy body or because of the inconsistencies he kept finding in her that he heard himself agreeing to have dinner with her?
‘An early dinner—I want to spend some time at the hospital later this evening.’
He wasn’t sure why he’d added the stipulation. True, he liked to spend time at the hospital but he often came late at night when the unit was quiet and most of the parents were sleeping as fitfully as their hopes and fears for their child would allow.
‘Now?’
He studied Grace. Of course he knew why he’d added the stipulation! He was suspicious of her—and doubly suspicious of her interest in him. Most women, even in these enlightened days, were happy to let the men make the running in a developing relationship—and most women were adept at reading the ‘not interested’ sign he hung around himself at work.
So what was with Grace? Was she so inexperienced—at thirty-five?—that she didn’t know the rules, couldn’t read the signs? Or did she have some agenda of her own?
Well, yes to the latter, she’d told him as much, but she wasn’t giving off ‘I’d like to get to know you better’ vibes, so what other agenda could it be?
‘Of course now, if that suits you,’ he said, wondering what he was getting into, suspecting his assumption of her inexperience might be true and intrigued in spite of himself. ‘I was always curious.’
She gave him a sharp, assessing look—no fool, this woman—then shrugged.
‘I don’t mind that,’ she assured him. ‘In fact, it might be a point in my favour.’
Not smiling so it wasn’t a joke—but a point in her favour? In favour of what?
‘Shall we continue this mysterious conversation all evening, or should we discuss something else—there’s always work—until we’ve eaten?’
Now she did smile, and although the expression held a degree of uncertainty it confirmed his initial reaction to her—she was beautiful.
But beautiful women usually radiated confidence, and although Grace gave the impression of being in control, and certainly seemed confident in her work, he kept getting the feeling that her personal confidence was something she’d manufactured, like a cloak, that she wrapped around herself to protect the person she really was.
Or was he being fanciful? Seeing something of his own self-protective instincts and habits in her?
They left the hospital and walked down the road, bypassing Scoozi by unspoken but mutual consent and wandering towards a little brasserie, far enough from the hospital to be less populated by medical people.
‘Is there pizza on the menu here?’ Grace asked, hesitating on the footpath beside the trellised outdoor garden.
‘I don’t only eat pizza and, in fact, this place does the best moussaka outside my aunt’s house in Melbourne.’
Grace glanced at him and he waited, expecting more questions, but none came and he realised that although she was looking at him, her mind was elsewhere.
On the question she wanted to ask?
It was looming larger and larger in his mind, so surely it was swooping around inside her head.
‘We’re going in?’ he asked, and she nodded, though she indicated the outdoor area with a wave of her slim, thin-fingered hand.
‘Could we sit outside?’
He was still thinking about her hands—he’d noticed them in Theatre, where, even gloved, they’d looked… aristocratic somehow.
‘Of course.’
The waitress seated them at a corner table, close by a rambling vine that drooped tiny purple flowers, dropping them when the wind rustled through the leaves so a vagrant few rested in Grace’s golden hair like tiny amethyst gemstones.
Theo opted not to tell her, sure she’d be annoyed by such frivolous beauty and brush them out.
‘I’ll have the lamb,’ Grace announced, one minute’s perusal of the menu enough for her to make up her mind. The decisiveness fitted what he knew of her. He ordered moussaka—wondering if she could tell as much about him from his order. A man of habit—that’s about all she’d gather.
‘So, the question?’ he prompted when the waitress had disappeared to the kitchen with their orders.
She seemed startled, then, to his surprise, she blushed.
‘It should be easy for a person as blunt and plainspoken as I am,’ she muttered, looking more embarrassed by the second, ‘but it’s not that kind of question.’
‘Oh?’
He wasn’t going to help her. He was already regretting agreeing to this dinner. Getting even mildly entangled with a particular member of the team wasn’t on his agenda. His private life was just that, private, and he wanted to keep it that way.
‘It’s personal—very personal—and you’ll think I’ve got a cheek, a terrible cheek. And presumptuous—very presumptuous.’
She stopped and tried a smile that failed dismally, although something about the pathetic attempt struck Theo as brave—valiant.
‘Perhaps if I explained, just a little about myself—no, that won’t work, it’s better just to ask. The thing is, you see, I badly want a child. I’m thirty-five and running out of time, and while I’m here in Sydney is the ideal time to get pregnant and I wondered, if you’d mind—if you had no objections and I know it’s a totally outrageous thing to ask, but you’re everything that would be fantastic—I wondered if I could use…’
The floundering stopped as suddenly as it had started and, scarlet-faced, she stared at the far corner