Harry didn’t say much on the drive back, and for this Gina was thankful. She would have found it terribly difficult to make polite conversation the way she was feeling.
When they drew up outside the house in which her flat was situated, she was out of the car before he had even left his seat, saying, ‘No, please don’t get out,’ when he opened the driver’s door. ‘You need to get back to the puppies.’
‘A minute or two will make no difference.’ He walked round the bonnet, handing her the satellite-navigation system the folk had bought her as he said, ‘You’ll need this, won’t you?’
Forcing a smile, she took the box. ‘Definitely. Well, I’d better get cracking on cleaning the flat. Goodbye, Harry.’
His eyes narrowed, glittering in the gathering twilight. ‘I thought you were going to let me have your new address.’
As if you really care. Hurt causing a constriction in her chest that made it difficult to breathe, Gina nodded. ‘Of course,’ she lied flatly. ‘I’ll phone it through tomorrow, if that’s all right? I’ve got your mobile number.’
‘Thanks for all you’ve done over the last twenty-four hours,’ he said very softly. ‘I appreciate it.’
Of course you do. I fell in with what you asked me to do, like the weak fool I am where you’re concerned. What’s not to appreciate? ‘It was nothing. Glad to help.’ Please go. Go before I break down completely or grab hold of you and can’t let go. Something that was becoming more likely with each moment.
He still didn’t move. ‘I’ll let you know how the puppies get on,’ he said pleasantly.
‘Thank you.’
‘You must come and see them when you’re next up visiting your parents.’
‘Yes.’
‘By then I’ll have sorted out a name worthy of her sisters for Number Four.’
Gina nodded.
Whether her lack of enthusiasm got through to him she didn’t know, but he studied her face for a long moment as she stood perfectly still and tense. ‘I must let you go, I’ve delayed you long enough.’
You could delay me for ever if I thought I had the slightest chance of meaning anything to you. She knew she ought to say something light and casual, something which meant they would part on easy, friendly terms, but words were beyond her. The ache inside overpowering, she made to turn away just as he bent and lowered his mouth to hers.
She froze. His lips were warm and firm, and it was no brief peck but more a caressing exploration that deepened moment by moment. Utterly captivated, she couldn’t have moved away if her life had depended on it, but she fought responding to his kiss with every fibre of her being, knowing once she did she would be lost. He thought she was in love with someone else, but if she kissed him back in the way she wanted to it might set that intimidatingly intelligent mind thinking.
Grasping the box in her hands so tight her knuckles were shiny white, she told herself over and over again to remain absolutely impassive, but it was no good. This was Harry and he was kissing her. As her mouth began to open beneath his, she told herself she didn’t want to think or reason, she wanted to feel. In thirty-six hours she would be gone for good, and this would have to last her a lifetime. What did self-respect and dignity matter compared to that?
It was the box in her hands that saved her, preventing her from throwing her arms round his neck and pressing against him as she wanted to. As it made its presence felt by digging into her chest, he became aware of it too, straightening and smiling a faintly rueful smile as he said, ‘Sorry.’
The blood thundering in her ears, she couldn’t match his cool aplomb. Hoping the trembling inside wasn’t visible to those intent grey eyes, she lowered her flushed face, her voice a murmur as she said, ‘I have to go, Harry.’
‘I know.’ A moment passed, then another. ‘Goodbye, Gina.’
‘Goodbye.’ This time she did turn from him, walking towards the front of the house by instinct rather than sight, her eyes dry but unseeing.
It took enormous self-will to turn after she had opened the front door to the house and wave, but somehow she did it. She was aware of his arm lifting in response, and then she almost fell into the hall, shutting the front door and leaning against it as her heart beat a violent tattoo.
How long she stood there after she heard his car start and then draw away she didn’t know, a mixture of crushing regret and sheer undiluted dread at never seeing him again turning her into a frozen statue. He had gone. Nothing she had experienced in her life thus far had prepared her for this moment, for desolation so consuming she could taste it.
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