Mikki pressed on an Adam’s apple that was actually hard to locate in an already thick neck that had severe swelling going on as well. If things were this hard from the outside, what hope did Tama have of slipping a tube through the airway internally?
Very little, but he managed. Almost instantly, he slipped the tube into place and then straightened to secure it and attach the bag mask to the end of the tube. Mikki picked up the unit as Tama placed his stethoscope on the chest. She squeezed the bag as he listened for lung sounds and then placed the disc below the ribs to exclude air going into the epigastrium.
‘We’re in,’ he announced calmly. ‘Let’s get this guy on board and get moving.’
The packing up and preparation for take off were practised and smooth. Josh returned and again Mikki was left on the outskirts of the routine, simply watching.
No wonder. She had messed up, hadn’t she? Failed on the first real medical challenge that had been thrown her way.
She was a liability. Tama hadn’t wanted her on his crew in the first place and now he had good reason to resent her inclusion.
No wonder he was so focussed on his patient he didn’t spare her even a glance on the homeward journey. No surprise she wasn’t asked to assist in any medical capacity either. These guys had it sorted. Intensive monitoring, another IV line, fluids going in under pressure, a badly broken leg dressed and splinted.
She was just a passenger. An unwanted one. Present but not included, and it stirred memories Mikki had thought long buried.
They came in to land on the hospital helipad with their patient still stable and breathing well. The two paramedics were clearly satisfied with the way the job had gone. Tama seemed to have forgotten the debacle with intubation but Mikki couldn’t. She had to bite her lip and blink away a very unexpected prickle in her eyes that suggested the possibility of tears.
She was about to cry?
No way!
Mikki clenched her jaw tight as she climbed out of the helicopter to follow the stretcher. She wasn’t going to let it matter that Tama didn’t want her. That she had played into his hands by begging to go on a job and then demonstrating a very uncharacteristic lack of ability.
He’d give her another chance.
He had to.
CHAPTER FOUR
‘HAPPY?’
‘Yeah … sure,’ Tama replied.
Josh quirked an eyebrow. ‘You should be. You don’t have to carry on with the incredibly boring stocktake.’
This was true. If it remained quiet on station he could carry on with Mikki’s training. She needed to learn how to load and unload the stretchers. How to secure sliding doors and all the medical gear and what to check before telling the pilot that ‘all was secure in the rear’.
‘Do you know how many individual components we have in IV gear alone?’
‘No.’ And Tama didn’t know why he wasn’t as happy as he claimed to be either.
‘Fourteen,’ Josh said in disgust. ‘Five different gauges of cannula, wipes, luer plugs, giving sets, Tegaderm, tape …’
Tama pushed open the door of the men’s changing room, barely registering the list. Mikki wasn’t in the kitchen end of the messroom and it was well past time they had some lunch. Where was she?
‘Then there’s four sizes of syringes and six sizes of needles on top of that,’ Josh continued, ‘and I have to count every single one of them.’ He, too, looked around the room. ‘Where’s the mouse?’
‘Dunno.’
‘She was kind of quiet when we got to the hospital. If the job had been a bit much for her, I would have expected her to feel happy to be on familiar turf, even if it wasn’t an ED she’s worked in. She didn’t look happy, though, did she?’
‘No.’
‘Maybe she doesn’t like it as much as she thought she would. She looked pretty excited when we headed off.’
‘Yeah.’ That glow had been well and truly snuffed out, hadn’t it? And Tama knew why. Having been called to check that fire officer, Josh hadn’t seen Tama take over the intubation of that difficult patient. He had no idea how tense it had been. How lucky Tama had been to succeed on his first try and how it must have made Mikki feel like she’d messed up and shown herself to be less than competent.
The wind had been taken out of the royal sails all right. Tama had demonstrated his own prowess at her expense. He should be pleased with himself. Experiencing the kind of satisfaction that had once been a dream—to prove that someone like him was just as good, if not better, than someone like her. He should be happy, dammit!
‘Coffee?’
‘Sure.’ Maybe she was still in the tiny bathroom area kept for visitors that was now deemed the female locker room. That would be it. She probably needed to touch up her mascara or nail polish or something after working rough.
I don’t do manicures.
Josh turned from where he was fossicking in the fridge. ‘And how about I nuke the leftover chow mein we put in the freezer last week?’
Tama nodded. He wasn’t bothered about what they ate. He was more bothered by how clearly he could hear Mikki’s words echoing in his head. She wasn’t into nail polish. Her hair colour was natural and she liked the size of her breasts. So there!
Tama could feel a corner of his mouth pulling sideways. Spirit like that was something he could approve of. Like the way she had punished herself keeping up with him during those pre-requisite challenges. She had been so determined to make the grade, hadn’t she? To prove she was up to the job.
Had that spirit been snuffed out, along with the glow?
OK, the glow had been irritating but that was partly because he understood it. Not that he’d ever let it show on his face like that. At least, he hoped he hadn’t, but he knew what it was like to get a shot at something you wanted badly enough to get so excited about. And he also knew what it was like to want something that badly and have it all turn to custard. To blame yourself for whatever was going wrong. He hoped Mikki wasn’t into beating herself up too thoroughly. While it might be good to have tarnished the glow a little, crushing that spirit entirely would not only be unnecessary, it could lead to repercussions. What if the boss learned that the princess was unhappy? Who would be held accountable? Him, that’s who.
Josh was pushing buttons on the microwave and Tama should have been looking forward to the food, not standing here, worrying about the mental state of an extra crew member.
The faint growling sound he emitted did not come from his empty stomach.
Josh looked over his shoulder. ‘What’s up?’
‘Just need a bit a fresh air. Be back in a minute. Don’t eat it all.’
Patting his pocket as he strode through the hangar on his way outside was automatic. Remembering that he’d packed in smoking a long time ago didn’t help alleviate the odd tension. Neither did spotting Mikki.
She’d hung her overalls back on the peg and she was just standing there, her back towards Tama. She probably had no idea how the slump of her shoulders was advertising her state of mind as clearly as her expressions did.
Tama’s need for a bit of solitude went head to head with the knowledge that he could—and should—do something to debrief their new recruit. She hadn’t seen him, however. He could slip out the back door and find a quiet spot in the sun for a minute or two.
There would be plenty of time later for some reassurance and encouragement, but Tama had hesitated