Bella fell behind her. Was it possible Philip would fall in love with her? If he did, would her not returning his affections hurt him? He’d been the one to suggest a marriage of convenience. Was she doing the wrong thing by marrying him?
* * *
The next morning, Bella still didn’t have any answers. She knew she had to consider Caleb and Mark, but she also worried that she’d be doing Philip an injustice by marrying him.
All day, she worried about what to do. Rebecca had said there were always choices, but Bella couldn’t see them.
She felt Philip watching her and looked up. He studied her face as if he was trying to read her mind across the kitchen table. The Young and Armstrong families were eating dinner. They were a noisy bunch and none of them seemed to be paying attention to Bella and Philip.
They’d said less than ten words to each other during the day. Bella had been busy with the women, cooking, cleaning and planning their wedding. Philip had been with his brothers and his stepfather, Seth.
This wasn’t the first time she’d felt his eyes upon her after her talk with Rebecca. Had he known what his mother was going to say to her? Did he read the doubt on her face regarding their upcoming wedding?
She lowered her head and continued eating. Pot roast and potatoes left a dry taste in her mouth. Bella made the decision to talk to Philip again about getting married.
If he had changed his mind, she wanted to give him the option of calling it off. Would he? And if he did, where would that leave her and the boys? Bella silently prayed that God would take control because at this moment she felt as if she had none.
* * *
During the few days that Philip had known Bella, he’d learned that she was quiet. But he sensed there was more to her quietness today than before. She’d seemed upset when she and Rebecca had returned from their walk last night.
Now that tonight’s meal was complete and the dishes were cleaned, he searched out his future bride. Philip found her in the kitchen standing by the stove. He walked to her and laced his fingers around hers. “Bella, I’d like to have a private word with you.”
She nodded and laid the towel in her other hand on the counter.
Philip looked to Fay. She rocked in her rocker by the fireplace. The younger children all played at her feet. “Would you mind keeping an eye on the boys for a few minutes? We won’t be gone long.”
“I’d be happy to watch them,” Fay replied.
He smiled his thanks and then pulled Bella toward the front door. Philip noticed the frown on his mother’s face. She’d been quiet since her and Bella’s walk also. What was wrong with her? Rebecca had always been warm and loving to the strays who crossed her doorway. Why was she acting so different with Bella?
After putting on their coats, they stepped out onto the porch. Philip indicated Bella sit down in one of the chairs that faced the front yard.
Bella did as he indicated.
He leaned against the porch rail and studied her, then asked, “What is bothering you? Is it something Ma said?”
Soft words burst from her lips. “I’m not sure we should get married.”
Philip had half expected her to say just that. “Why not?”
Bella stood to face him. Her blue eyes looked deep into his. “Look, I’ve been in love. You haven’t. I don’t want to be the cause of you not finding true love.”
He took her hand in his once more and pulled her closer to him. “We’ve been through this. I’ve explained that I have no intention of falling in love and why.”
“I know, but...”
Philip pulled her even closer. “No buts. I don’t want to fall in love, you said you don’t want to fall in love. Have you changed your mind about that?”
She shook her head.
“Then there is no problem. We are getting married for the boys’ sake. Just because we aren’t going to fall in love doesn’t mean we can’t be friends and talk about things. Especially when it is of this importance. Agreed?”
She took a step even closer. “Agreed.”
The sweet scent of vanilla wafted toward him and he grinned. Impulsively, Philip bent his head and smelled the side of her neck. He murmured against her neck, “Did you let Joy dab you with vanilla?”
Bella nodded. Her hair tickled his face.
Philip pulled away. What was he doing? He grinned down at her. “I thought so.” His little sister loved the scent of vanilla and used it like perfume.
They were standing so close that Philip felt her shiver. “I suppose we should go back inside.” He looked deep into her eyes. “Do you still want to marry me, Bella?”
“As long as you are sure this is what you want,” she answered.
He kissed her forehead. “I do.”
She shivered again.
A giggle sounded to his right. He looked up and saw four small faces in the window. Then he heard his little sister announce to the room, “They’re kissing.”
Philip groaned. “We’d best get back inside.” As he followed her in, Philip admitted to himself that he’d like to have stayed outside a little longer with Bella. He tried to convince himself that it was to assure her that he wanted to marry her, but the truth was, he enjoyed holding her in his arms and watching her cheeks turn a pretty pink.
The next day, he was still thinking about Bella’s pink cheeks when he pulled his horse to a stop in front of the relay station he shared with Thomas and his new wife, Josephine. He dismounted but left the horse tied to the porch.
Josephine and their closest neighbor, Hazel, were sitting at the kitchen table peeling potatoes. They looked up as he came through the door.
His sister-in-law’s mouth pulled into a big smile. “It’s about time you got home. I was beginning to really worry about you.”
Philip shut the door and hung his coat on a peg. “I was delayed by my future bride.” He’d walked halfway across the room when the door opened again and Thomas entered.
Hazel demanded, “What future bride?”
Over the past year, Hazel had become motherly toward the two young men. Then when Josephine had arrived a few months earlier, Hazel had treated her as family, too. Hazel didn’t hesitate to ask her question.
Philip turned and stared at his brother. “It seems I’ve posted a mail-order-bride ad in Colorado and Bella Wilson felt the need to answer it by arriving by stage out at the Turnstone relay station.” He had the satisfaction of watching Thomas’s face pale.
“Um, Bella Wilson?” Thomas ran his hand through his hair and looked over Philip’s shoulder at Josephine.
Philip turned in time to see her shrug her shoulders.
“Don’t look at me. I’ve never heard of her,” Josephine said before studying the wood pattern on the table.
Hazel frowned. “I thought I told you two to answer each and every letter and apologize for misleading those young ladies.” She looked between Thomas and Josephine.
Thomas walked around Philip. He headed to the coffeepot. “We did.”
Philip followed him. “Well, Bella didn’t write a letter. She simply came, much like Josephine did.”
Shock filled Josephine’s voice. “She’s a Pony Express rider, too?”
Hazel