‘About the possibility of gossip,’ he cut in, his face gloomy.
‘I suppose that does worry her a bit, because of your position here. But she’s more concerned that you’re “on a road to nowhere”, is the way she put it. You told her you want children, and very much so, and she thinks that’s not going to happen because Pauline Mallard is too old.’
Harry nodded, and now a reflective expression slid on to his face. ‘Mam’s right, Pauline is forty-eight, and she herself thinks the same thing. Her child-bearing days are more than likely over. At least that’s what Pauline believes.’
‘She doesn’t look forty-eight, so much younger.’
‘That’s what I said when she told me her age. She’s been very honest and open with me, Ceci. Pauline’s a good woman.’
‘A married woman,’ Cecily said very softly, reaching out, taking hold of Harry’s hand on the table. Holding it tightly, she said, ‘Listen to me, I’m your sister and I know you better than anybody. Therefore, I know you must be madly in love with her to keep this affair going.’ Cecily paused, shook her head slowly, finished, ‘But it’s going nowhere.’
When Harry remained silent, Cecily murmured, ‘I suppose she has an unhappy marriage, right?’
‘Yes, she does. Sheldon travels a lot, and, well, it’s not an intimate relationship, from what she’s told me.’
Cecily couldn’t help sighing. ‘Oh Harry, Harry, that’s what they all say, be it a man or a woman who is committing adultery. It’s the same old story, and has been for centuries. For ever, I suppose.’
‘In Pauline’s case I think it’s true. He has other interests … in a different direction.’
‘What do you mean?’ She lowered her voice when she asked in a cautious tone, ‘Do you mean he’s a homosexual?’
‘She never said that, just that it was not intimate,’ Harry answered sotto voce. ‘And he had different tastes.’
‘I’m not surprised she didn’t say anything else. He could go to jail.’
He nodded. ‘I believe her, Ceci, and that’s that. I do know it would be hard for me to leave her.’
‘Has she ever mentioned getting a divorce?’ Cecily asked, her eyes focused on Harry.
‘She says he’ll never agree to a divorce, and that we have to make the best of it.’
‘I don’t think you should make the best of it, as Pauline calls it! You’re stuck with a woman too old to have your children, and one who obviously won’t get a divorce for some reason.’
Leaning forward, Cecily said emphatically, ‘Harry, please be sensible, think of yourself. And your future. You’re forty years old. Get out now and go your own way. You will meet someone, I just know you will.’
‘That’s very funny talk coming from you. I can remember your litany … you always said you could never love anybody else but Miles. And that’s how I feel about Pauline.’
‘It’s hard, I do know that, I really do. Mam thought it might be a good idea if you could get away for a while, take a holiday. Actually, I wish you could come with us now … to Zurich.’
Harry half smiled. ‘I run this estate with Miles, and when he’s away I have to be here. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy a holiday with you both in Zurich. I love being with you and Miles. The thing is, though, you take your problems with you, wherever you go. And before you nay-say me, those are words you once said to me about your feelings for Miles.’
Cecily nodded, filled with love for her brother, and also understanding his situation, his emotions. He was in love with a woman he couldn’t marry, one who most likely couldn’t bear his children. Cecily didn’t want to chastise him, or question him, only to comfort him. And encourage him to move on. She wished she could introduce him to someone special, but she did not have anyone in mind at the moment. Anyway, he would resent her interference.
Rising, Cecily said, ‘I’m here for you whenever you need me, Harry, and so is Miles.’
Harry also jumped to his feet, and he took hold of her arm affectionately. ‘I know that, and thank you for caring.’
They went up the path together without speaking, holding hands. He broke away when they arrived at the stable block. After kissing her cheek, Harry murmured, ‘I’ll look after David and Walter whilst you’re gone, Ceci. I love them, you know.’
She nodded. ‘You’re the perfect uncle,’ she responded.
He smiled at her and walked off.
She watched him go, thinking what a good-looking man he was; he was kind and caring as well. And he did love her children. That was only too apparent in the way he spent time with the boys, and taught them so much. What a wonderful father he would make, and certainly a good husband.
Walking towards the terrace, she could not help thinking what a sad life her brother had. He loved Cavendon and his job. He and Miles were the closest of friends and worked well together. He was popular with everyone, and much admired and surrounded by loved ones here.
But he was alone, living in the house Great-Aunt Charlotte had given him. All alone. He must feel hollow inside. He cooked his own meals. Or he went across the village street to their parents’ house, or ate at the village pub, Little Skell Arms. He was not a social animal and was mostly on his own.
It’s not fair, Cecily suddenly thought, with a rush of anger. That woman is using him. My brother deserves better. And I’m going to make sure he gets it.
Ten minutes later there was a knock on Cecily’s bedroom door, and Diedre was saying, ‘Can I come in?’
‘Yes, of course,’ Cecily called out, and went over to the door as Diedre walked in, smiling, and holding a dress. It was one she had recently purchased from the Burlington Arcade shop.
‘Is there something wrong with it?’ Cecily asked, eyeing the dress.
Diedre glanced around. ‘Well, I’m not sure about the pleating on the side. I hope I’m not disturbing you and Miles? Is he in your sitting room?’
Cecily shook her head. ‘No. He’s out in the garden with the boys, and Venetia is helping Nanny to cut some flowers for me. You want to speak to me alone, is that it?’ she asked, her mouth puckering into a smile.
‘That’s right.’ Diedre put the dress over a chair. ‘As usual it fits me perfectly. It was just a ploy, a reason to come and see you.’
‘Let’s sit here. If Miles comes back sooner than I expect, he’ll make for the sitting room. He always does.’
Diedre sat on the sofa next to Cecily. ‘I don’t want to get your hopes up high, but I did speak to a contact of mine. This morning. In Berlin. He’s going to see if there’s any way he can help Greta’s family.’
‘Oh how wonderful!’ Cecily’s face lit up.
‘Don’t get excited, Ceci. And don’t say a word to Greta. Or anyone else, for that matter. Not even Miles. There is a huge problem for the Steinbrenners, and that is their passports. They need brand-new ones, as I told you yesterday. Too many to get at one time, in my opinion. The family may have to be extracted one at a time, over many months.’
‘Oh no, that would be so difficult for them,’ Cecily protested. ‘Greta will be upset.’
Diedre gave Cecily a hard stare, and her face was grave. She said, ‘You must understand that this is the hardest thing to do. Virtually impossible now. Greta won’t have a say in it. If I can get just one person out, I’ll be lucky. And so will that person. Who would the family member be? What