Then, like a smart bomb, it revolved slowly as though seeking its programmed target, locked on, straightened up, and arrowed down.
Far below a constable looked up. He opened his mouth in horror, then screamed a warning. The doors of the middle of the trio of police cars flapped open left and right, and two uniformed men hurled themselves out in perfect sync a split second before the sledgehammer passed through the car roof like a cannon ball through canvas.
‘Oh shoot,’ said Joe.
‘Will you get your black hands off my white arse!’ snarled the burly man.
Joe could understand his ill temper but that gave him no entitlement to racist cracks.
He let go of the trousers and said, ‘Hey, friend, look what you’ve done to my begonias. Someone’s going to have to pay for this.’
Then he turned in search of the bossman.
There were two of them, a DI from the Drug Squad and a Senior Investigation Officer from Customs and Excise. At first they vied for control, but as Joe repeated his story, and Mrs Bannerjee repeated her story, and confirmation came from below that Merv the taxi man was repeating the same story, gradually the two men each tried to back out of the limelight, leaving centre stage to the other. The flat meanwhile had been well turned over without result and the searchers were reduced to a close examination of the balcony plants in hope of discovering some illegal growth.
‘That is a pelargonium,’ said Joe, indignantly snatching a pot from a pair of clumsy hands. ‘Who’s going to clear up this mess? I want compensation. What right you got to come in here, wrecking my flat, scaring my cat, and terrifying this poor woman and her kids?’
The men looked unimpressed and it was true that Mrs Bannerjee seemed more indignant than afraid, while her daughter hadn’t even woken up and the little boy was sitting in a corner with Whitey in his arms, both of them watching the activity with wide-eyed interest.
‘I’m going to ring my lawyer,’ said Joe. ‘But first I’m going to ring the News, tell them there’s a great story here, cops and Customs men busting an innocent man’s place up, not to mention throwing sledgehammers through police cars. Now that should really make a headline!
It was the threat of ridicule which did the trick. The searchers began to do some token clearing up, while Mrs Bannerjee, her kids and her suitcase were being ushered from the flat.
‘Where are you taking that lady?’ demanded Joe.
‘Helping with inquiries,’ said the DI who had lost the battle to shed responsibility and signalled this by grudgingly admitting his name was Yarrop. ‘Don’t worry, she’ll be well taken care of.’
Joe doubted it. Having let Mrs Bannerjee run free to see where she went, now presumably they would put her in the same room as her husband and bug their conversation. The last thing on their official minds would be genuine concern.
‘Suppose she doesn’t want to go?’ he said.
‘It is all right, Mr Sixsmith,’ said Mrs Bannerjee. ‘I never wanted to go away from my husband in the first place. Now they say I will see him. But, please, you mentioned a solicitor …’
‘I’ll see what I can do,’ said Joe. ‘I’ll try to get hold of the woman I told you about. Her name’s Butcher.’
‘Thank you very much, Mr Sixsmith,’ said the woman, smiling for the first time. She was rather pretty when she smiled. ‘You have been very kind. Amal, say thank you and goodbye to Mr Sixsmith.’
‘Thank you very much, Mr Sixsmith,’ piped the little boy to Whitey whom he had released with great reluctance.
He thinks the cat’s in charge, thought Joe. Maybe he’s right.
The Bannerjees went out.
Yarrop said, ‘I’m sorry about this. Can’t win ’em all.’
‘Well,’ said Joe grudgingly, ‘at least you can admit a mistake.’
‘Mistake,’ echoed the man thoughtfully. ‘Maybe. It would certainly be a mistake to start disturbing solicitors at this time of night, wouldn’t you say? Let’s both try to avoid any further mistakes, shall we? Good night now!’
He left. Joe went to the phone and dialled. He had a sense that Yarrop had gone no further than the other side of the door but he didn’t care.
A woman’s voice said, ‘Bullpat Square Law Centre.’
‘You really work late,’ said Joe approvingly. ‘Now that I admire.’
‘I know that voice. Is that you, Sixsmith? I heard you’d gone bankrupt.’
‘You heard wrong.’
‘You sure? I could swear I saw you flogging apples off a barrow in the market.’
‘Still can’t tell us apart after all these years? No wonder you’ve got to work long hours to make a living.’
‘And I want to get back to it, so why don’t you come to see me in the morning. I can maybe manage a two-minute slot around ten?’
Joe said, ‘I need you now, Ms Butcher.’
‘Ms? Such politeness means trouble. But it’s no good, Sixsmith. I’m not moving out of here, not even if you’ve been gang-banged by the entire Bedfordshire Constabulary.’
‘Not yet,’ said Joe. ‘But there’s a man called Bannerjee in a fair way to being screwed.’
He explained. There was a long silence.
‘You fallen asleep?’ inquired Joe courteously.
‘Chance would be a fine thing. How do you know this Bannerjee guy isn’t a pro dope-smuggler?’
‘I don’t,’ said Joe. ‘But I don’t think his wife is. And I’m certain his kids aren’t. And the way the cops came bursting in here, they’re pushing this thing very hard, and that’s the way innocent people get squashed against the wall.’
‘God, you’ll be telling me next you’ve got a dream. These guys who turned you over, they had a search warrant, I take it?’
‘I forgot to ask,’ admitted Joe.
‘Oh Jesus. The great PI! I expect it was all so sudden.’
‘Well, it was.’
More silence.
‘And you say they dropped a sledgehammer on to a police car?’
‘From seven floors up,’ said Joe. ‘It went clean through the roof.’
‘All right. I’ll do it. Not for your sake, not even for the Bannerjee kids’ sake, but for the sledgehammer’s sake. A story like that deserves some reward.’
The phone went dead.
‘Whitey,’ said Joe, ‘this has been a busy day. And nothing to show for it, except more mess than when you chased that blue-tit that came through the window.’
Whitey gave his are-you-never-going-to-forget-that? mew, and disappeared behind the armchair. He emerged a moment later dragging little Amal Bannerjee’s toy bull which he deposited in front of Joe before climbing back on to the chair and going to sleep with the complacent look of one whose duty has been done.
‘The poor kid,’ said Joe, picking up the bull. He went on to the balcony and looked down. All the cars had gone including the one with the new non-sliding sunroof.
With a sigh, Joe placed the bull carefully among his begonias and started clearing up the mess.