She was already close, her body primed rather than depleted by the past two days of near-constant sex. Pleasure swelled inside her. It would have been easy to lose herself in it and forget what she was doing for him. Easy to stutter. She was so close she almost couldn’t care.
Nick mumbled encouragement as he pumped forward, and she took him all the way in. Stroke, lick, suck, rub. Bess shuddered and had to move her mouth away in order to breathe. Her hand slid up and down along his length while the one between her legs slowed. Slower. Slower…She pressed her body forward into her palm and took him in her mouth again.
She came. The world got dark for a moment, closed to all but the climax washing over her and the taste of Nick. He cried out, something incoherent. Heat flooded her tongue. The memory of his taste and smell, but only the memory. He came in her mouth but only memories filled it.
It didn’t matter. Was, in fact, better that way. A bonus. She’d go down on him ten times a day if she didn’t have to actually swallow.
Her clit pulsed against her hand in the sweet aftershocks of coming. Bess kissed Nick’s stomach and reached behind her head to loosen his fingers from her hair. She looked up at him with a smile.
He stared down at her, face slack in the aftermath of his pleasure, but then smiled back. “Holy shit.”
She laughed and kissed his stomach again, then pushed him gently away so she could stand and go to the sink, where she washed her hands and splashed cool water on her face. Rinsing her mouth was habit rather than necessity, but the cool water tasted good and she cupped a couple handfuls to her mouth.
He was still staring, still naked, when she turned from the sink. “Wow.”
Bess raised an eyebrow and leaned against the counter. “Wow?”
Nick bent to grab the towel and wrap it around his waist again. “You’re fucking amazing, you know that?”
She grinned, pleased. “Thank you.”
“No…” Nick shook his head. “I don’t mean that.”
This wasn’t quite as nice to hear. “No?”
“No.” He shook his head again, so that his hair fell over his eyes. “I mean…you didn’t used to be like that.”
That was both true and not. She hadn’t been like that with him. “I’m not sure what you want me to say, Nick.”
“I don’t want you to say anything.” He crossed to her and took her in his arms, but didn’t kiss her. “I just wanted you to know you’re incredible.”
“Thank you.” She poked his chest. “Better than you remembered?”
He laughed. “Just different.”
She ran a finger around his nipple and watched it tighten. The past two days had proved his cock would do the same if she stroked it, though they’d just finished. Bess looked up at him. “Comes with the territory, Nick.”
Age, she meant. Nick brought her hand to his lips and kissed the fingers, then nibble-kissed up her arm until she laughed and squirmed away. He let her go, but his eyes gleamed and his smile sent warmth oozing all through her.
“Amazing, that’s all.”
Bess curtsied. “I’m going to take a shower, and then I have to go to the store.”
Nick had already showered, but he followed her into the large master bath. Bess started the hot water, then quickly brushed her hair and pulled it into a loose bun on top of her head to keep it as much out of the spray as possible. She pulled off her nightgown and tossed it into the laundry. The scent of sex had thoroughly saturated the fabric. Hell, it had probably saturated the entire house by now.
Nick leaned against the sink, watching. Bess tested the water with her hand before getting in, giving him a glance over her shoulder. “You coming in again?”
“I’ll wait until you’re done.”
Even before, when they’d spent every spare moment they could together, it hadn’t been like this. She’d eaten at his table and brushed her teeth in his sink, slept in his bed and watched TV on his couch, but she hadn’t lived with him. They hadn’t been together for so long without a break, the way they’d been here.
Bess ignored him as she ducked under the water and let it hit the sore spot between her shoulders. Her entire body ached here and there, and bruises had blossomed in strange places. She and Nick hadn’t been rough, just frequent and abandoned. She touched one spot, an already yellowing rose on one hip, and remembered Nick’s teeth had put it there. She filled her palm with shower gel and scrubbed her skin, reminding herself to pick up a net sponge at the store. Her knees and calves prickled with hair she’d been too busy to shave, and she reached for her razor. The shower had a built-in seat and she used that to prop up her foot as she scraped the blade along her soap-softened skin.
The shower door slid open and she jumped, cutting the back of her ankle. The water stung and she looked up, annoyed. “Ouch!”
“You okay?” Nick leaned in the opening.
Bess touched the wound. It left her fingers briefly crimson, but the water quickly washed away the blood. “I’ll be okay.”
“Can I watch you?”
Refusal rose to her lips, but she shrugged. “Sure.”
Self-conscious from his attention, Bess fumbled through the rest of her routine. She’d been looking forward to a long, hot shower, but finished quickly instead and turned off the water. Nick handed her a towel matching his. Bess wrapped it around her chest and stepped out onto the bath mat.
“I never watched a girl shave her legs before.”
She thought about telling him she wasn’t a girl, but didn’t. “Was it everything you ever dreamed of?”
Nick chuckled and moved out of her way as Bess went to the sink. “Sure.”
She brushed her teeth and rubbed her skin with lotion, then hung up the towel. He was still wearing his towel. “Are you planning on getting dressed at all?”
“Sure.” Nick glanced into the bedroom, then back at her. “My clothes…”
“Oh. Right. You can toss them in the washer while I’m gone. We probably should do the sheets and towels, too.” Bess pushed past him and into the bedroom, where his clothes lay in the same pile they’d stayed in since she’d first stripped them off. Behind her, Nick came into the room.
“Yeah,” he said. “Well, it’s not just that.”
He toed the pile. Bess looked up from the drawer where she was pulling out a pair of panties for the first time in two days. She stepped into them, then reached for a bra.
“Oh,” she said, feeling really stupid. “They’re all you have.”
Nick nodded. The breath suddenly wheezed out of her, and Bess had to sit on the edge of the bed. Her stomach tumbled and she pressed her hands to it. She tried to take slow, even breaths, but heard the whistle of her own gasps anyway.
One set of clothes. This seemed more important, somehow, than the fact that he didn’t sleep or eat or breathe. One set of clothes only, nothing more, because Nick had nothing more. Was it what he’d been wearing when he…? Bess shuddered and clapped her hands over her eyes.
The bed dipped beside her. Nick put his arm around her shoulder, and though she meant to resist his touch, Bess turned and buried her face against him. She didn’t weep. This wasn’t grief rearing up inside her, stealing her breath and turning her guts. It was something else. Fear, maybe, that she was insane. Fear of the unknown. Fear he’d go away again without letting her know, and this time she’d have no secret hope harbored within her of ever seeing him again. If he went away this time, she’d never be able to convince herself he