Emma fished a handkerchief from her pocket. She wiped her tears and blew her nose. She would not let her father hold her back. Not from trusting. Not from living. Not from loving.
Not anymore.
“You went to my father’s house.”
Ash looked up from the ledger he’d been examining.
Emma.
She stood in front of his desk, staring down at him. Her eyes were red, as though she’d been crying. He set aside the ledger and rose to his feet.
“You went to my father’s house,” she repeated. “In Hertfordshire.”
There seemed little sense in denying it. “Yes.”
“In the dead of night.”
“Yes.”
“You broke into the vicarage.”
He rubbed a hand over his uneven hair. “I climbed in through his bedroom window, actually.”
“And then you told him you were a demon from Hell.”
“To be fair, he didn’t require a great deal of convincing.”
“You said you’d stop this. No more roaming about at night. You promised me.”
“I went to him before that. Weeks ago now, and . . . How do you know all this anyway?”
“He came to see me. At the modiste’s shop where I worked.”
Ash swore. The craven bastard.
“He apologized,” she went on. “Can you believe it? He knelt at my feet and begged for my forgiveness.”
“Well, I hope you didn’t grant it.”
“Why?” Her stare was direct and unnerving. “Why should you care? Why did you go to him at all?”
“Because he hurt you, Emma.” He thumped the desk for emphasis. “The man cast you out, without feeling or remorse. He left you to shiver and starve and fend for yourself. He made you frightened of the cold, and so afraid of your own heart you settled for marrying a bitter jackass. He treated you as though you were worthless, and for that, he deserves to rot in the ground. It was only for your sake that I did not put him there myself. He hurt you, and I would not stand for it. And I won’t apologize, either. Not now, not ever.”
“I see.”
Ash let quiet fill the room. It might be the last silence he’d enjoy for a while. Her demeanor was so restrained on the surface, he could only imagine her to be volcanically angry beneath. He drew a slow breath, steeling himself for the eruption.
She walked around the desk in brisk strides, and Ash turned to face her. He wasn’t going to hide.
Then she grabbed him by the lapels, pulled him down, and kissed him for all he was worth. No. She kissed him for a great deal more than he was worth, by a factor of thousands.
“Thank you,” she whispered between fervent kisses. “Thank you. I’ve never had anyone stand up for me like that.”
Any measure of chivalry that placed Ash at its pinnacle was a sorry scale indeed. But he would take her kisses, and gladly. Gratefully. He would take any part of her she offered him. Body, mind, heart, soul.
Bodies seemed to be the order of the moment, however. And as willing as he was to take hers, she seemed even more eager to get at his. As they kissed, she tugged at his coat sleeves, shaking them loose of his arms until the entire coat slipped to the floor. His waistcoat buttons were next.
Once she had him undressed down to only his shirt, she pushed him into the armchair and tugged at his shirt, pulling it up to lift over his head.
He kept his arms at his sides.
“Surely you’re not hesitating now?” she asked. “I thought we were past this.”
She was past it, perhaps, but it wasn’t so easy for him. He tried to explain it. “I couldn’t stand for you to look on me with pity. Or distaste.”
Emma gave him a soft look. “It’s not pity or distaste that worries you. You’re not afraid of rejection. You welcome it. But if you’re seen for everything you are—the strengths and the flaws, the beauty and the scars—you might have to believe you’re wanted. Loved. Really, truly, honestly, earnestly, properly.” She pressed her forehead to his. “And completely.”
Ash swallowed hard. She’d left him speechless. Entirely.
“I know you’re afraid,” she whispered. “I know it because I’m scared, too. Terrified, really. Make love to me. Be brave with me.” She grasped his shirt in both hands and pulled. “With nothing between us.”
“Emma, don’t.”
“Why not?”
He flailed for excuses. “It’s—It’s my favorite shirt.”
“Then I’ll mend it later.”
She found the bit of stitching where the shirt’s neckline converged, caught the fabric in her teeth, and tugged, biting a notch in the fabric. That accomplished, she took both sides in her hands and ripped the shirt straight down the center.
Ash was amazed. And, if he was honest, fiercely aroused.
She smiled. “A seamstress knows how to split fabric. And by now, you should know me. If you issue a command, I’ll only do the reverse.”
He started to compose a good scolding in his mind. But then he decided . . . perhaps he could make her rebellious nature work to his benefit.
“Very well,” he said. “Don’t lift your skirts and straddle me.”
Her eyes questioned him for a moment. Then understanding swept them, and a saucy smile curved her lips.
She gathered her striped muslin skirt and petticoats in fistfuls, hiking them high enough to allow him an erotic glimpse of her calves before climbing atop his lap, one knee on either side of his thighs, and letting that white, flouncy cloud of her petticoats fall around them both. He felt as though he’d been admitted to a temple of feminine secrets. Awed.
God. He was hard already, primed to take her without a moment’s delay. Slip loose the buttons of his trousers and thrust. That was all it would take. But he knew anticipation now would make the eventual satisfaction all the sweeter.
However, he intended to torture her every bit as much as she tortured him. Know every part of her, just as she knew him.
Love her. All of her. The way he yearned to be loved.
He slid a hand down her back, finding the edge of the ribbon that cinched her bodice tight. With a slow, teasing tug, he pulled until the knot gave way. Her bodice fell slack, and her breathing quickened.
“Don’t,” he said in a firm voice, “lower your bodice. And whatever you do, don’t you dare lift your breasts and offer them to me.”
A blush blossomed on her cheeks, in a red deep as roses. He inhaled a lungful of her intoxicating fragrance. She slipped her arms out from her sleeves and wriggled her bosom free of her bodice and stays. Out they tumbled in all their glory. Full and round and dark pink at the tips.
Biting her lip, she slid her hands beneath her breasts, lifting and plumping—and sweet heaven, rolling her nipples between her thumbs and forefingers until they were pert and begging for him.