Emma hadn’t asked for anything of the sort. She’d sewn that gown herself, and she’d poured all her hopes into it. Not to sing a siren song or to invite lust. She wasn’t asking, Grope me behind the hedges.
See me, she’d been pleading. Admire me.
Love me.
A mistake, and she’d paid dearly for it. Again, and again, and again.
But now here she was. Against her better judgment and every resolution, she’d found herself craving all those same things from her husband. Understanding. Admiration. Affection.
Perhaps even love.
She regarded herself in the mirror and drew a deep, unsteady breath. If she put on this gown and went down to him, she would descend the stairs wearing her heart on the outside of her body. Nothing to guard it from being pierced, wounded, broken.
Torn apart.
She would be a fool to take that risk.
He had vowed to protect her, hadn’t he? However, she wasn’t certain any promise extended that far.
Tonight, Emma supposed she would find out.
Ash paced the entrance hall, tapping his walking stick against the marble floor. Every few passes, he glanced at the clock. Thanks to Emma’s peculiar friend, he trusted the timepiece to be accurate to the second.
Ten past eight.
He stopped his pacing. He was behaving like some kind of courting swain, not a duke awaiting his tardy duchess—and he was most definitely not a lovesick pup. He simply despised waiting, that was all.
Craving motion, he lifted his walking stick perpendicular to the floor and placed his hat atop it. He thrust the stick upward, sending the hat a few feet into the air, then maneuvered to catch it. The next time, he sent the hat higher. After a dozen or so repetitions, he was lofting the hat to the heights of the vaulted ceiling, then tracking its fall to snag it before it hit the marble floor.
He’d just sent the hat soaring when he caught a shimmer of red at the top of the staircase.
Emma.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said.
Ash startled, flung the walking stick aside in a stupid attempt to dispose of the evidence, and then stood motionless as his beaver hat plummeted toward the earth out of nowhere, glancing off his shoulder before crashing to the floor. It must have looked as though he’d been the target of some sort of lightning bolt from Olympus, only a more fashionable one.
She stared at him from the top of the staircase.
He decided there was only one way to deal with the situation.
Denial.
He cast an accusatory glance at the ceiling, then bent to retrieve his hat, dusting it off with an air of irritation. “I’ll get Khan on that straightaway.”
He could sense her stifling a laugh.
“The performance begins in twenty minutes,” he said.
She remained at the top of the staircase, hesitant. Well, and why wouldn’t she be? She was about to go out in public accompanied by a man who flung hats and walking sticks about at random intervals.
“If you’d rather not,” he said, “it’s all the same to me. I’ve a report from the Yorkshire estate to look over.”
“Would you prefer to stay home?”
“Only if you prefer it.”
“I want to go. I should say, I’d hate to waste Mary’s efforts.” She touched a gloved hand to her hair.
What a horse’s ass he was. She wasn’t hesitating because she was concerned about his appearance. She was waiting for him to compliment hers.
He climbed the stairs, taking the risers two at a time. When he reached her side, he was out of breath—and it wasn’t from the exertion.
The glossy upsweep of her hair was wound through with ribbons and pinned with jeweled combs. A few locks of hair framed her face in loose spirals. A touch of delicate pink warmed her cheeks, and those lush eyelashes eroded his composure with each fluttering sweep.
Her eyes outshone it all. They were wide and searching, with pupils round and large enough that he could trip into them, and irises of deep, rich brown flecked with gold.
Somewhere lower, he knew there was a sumptuous gown and exquisitely framed breasts to ogle, but he couldn’t seem to drag his gaze south of her neck. She had him transfixed.
And he’d never felt more monstrous than he did standing next to her now.
“You look . . .” His mind stretched for words. He hadn’t prepared any compliments. Not the sort she deserved, at any rate, and he didn’t suppose that she’d care to hear the truth: that the way she looked in that gown made him feel vastly unequal, and a little bit queasy.
Should he deem her exquisite? A vision? An exquisite vision?
Bah. Insipid, the lot of them. He supposed a man couldn’t go amiss with “beautiful,” overused as it might be.
“The gown’s beautiful,” she said. “Thank you.”
Brilliant. Now she’d stolen his word. He was starting from nothing again.
“You would have chosen better,” he said. “And the quality could have been finer, had it not been so rushed.” He fingered the embellished edge of her sleeve. “Whoever did this stitching, her skill is certainly nothing to touch yours.”
When he lifted his eyes, he found her staring into them.
Her lips curved in a little smile. “I love it.”
He had the sudden, stupid idea that he might float down the stairs. “I’m happy to hear it.”
Happy. Now there was a word he hadn’t uttered in some time.
“You look splendid,” she said.
“I’m glad you noticed.” He puffed his chest and tugged on the lapels of the black tailcoat she’d ordered for him. “It’s the result of expert styling and the best of tailors. Did you notice the waistcoat? Stupendous.”
“I don’t know about stupendous.”
“Well, I know all about stupendousness, and I tell you, this waistcoat is the very definition.”
“I’ll take your word for it, then.”
Ash offered her his arm, and she took it. He escorted her down the staircase and out to the waiting carriage, mindful of her voluminous skirts, but never pausing. He refused to give any appearance of reluctance.
Tonight, it didn’t matter that he was scarred and hideous and would prefer to hide from society.
Emma deserved to be seen. And this night was for her.
The carriage ride to Drury Lane was quiet. Too quiet. As they bounced over the cobbled streets, Emma’s fears only grew. She’d been so consumed with her tender emotions, she’d neglected to worry over the rest of it. Appearing in a grand, opulent theater surrounded by ladies whose gowns she might have stitched.
She twisted her gloved hands in her lap. Her heart throbbed like a bruised thumb.
Finally,