Long ago
The independent cinema off Cowley Road in east Oxford was called the Penultimate Picture Palace, and it was famous for several reasons: for belonging to a guy who was equally notorious for having a life-size replica shark sticking out of the roof of his house, and for screening the kinds of movies the corporate cinema chains didn’t show, like Bertolucci’s Last Tango in Paris.
Young Ben Hope didn’t care about sharks any more than he did about watching the middle-aged Marlon Brando dressed like a hobo act out sordid rape fantasies with a teenage Maria Schneider. What appealed to Ben about the PPP was that it was famous for being the kind of rough and ready joint where you could smoke and drink to your heart’s content and nobody would hassle you. And if you could survive the late-night walk back to college through the jungle of east Oxford without getting mugged or poisoned by the temptations of the kebab vans, it all made for a fine evening out.
At nineteen, he could already see that the world was changing. One day these places would be sanitised out of existence. Until then, he intended to experience them fully.
It was after pub closing time when Ben and Michaela left the cinema, along with the small crowd who’d just sat through the epic double bill screening of Fellini’s Roma and Satyricon back to back. Michaela’s choice of movies, because she was into all that arthouse stuff. Ben hadn’t objected. He had a pack of Woodbines and a quarter bottle of Teacher’s blended scotch, because his student allowance didn’t extend to the single malt stuff, and that had been plenty enough to keep him contented through the four-hour marathon even if he hadn’t been able to understand a damn thing that was going on. The night was warm and the stars were out, they were young and in love and they set off towards home at a slow walk, hand in hand, talking and laughing about stupid things.
He felt good in her company. It was a perfect moment for him and he wanted it to go on forever.
The bikers had gathered outside a fish and chip place on Cowley Road that was closing up for the night, munching greasy food out of paper wrapping and knocking back cans of lager as they stood around ogling their row of Harleys and Jap cruisers parked on the kerbside. Eight or nine of them, hanging tough. Studded leather and cut-off denims and long hair and tats, the whole works, designed to demonstrate what badass outlaws they were.
As Ben and Michaela ambled closer, she tugged his arm and looked at him with worried eyes that glistened in the streetlights.
‘Maybe we should cross to the other side.’
He chuckled. ‘What are you worried about?’
‘They look nasty.’
‘Don’t be silly. They’re all for show. The tattoos probably aren’t even real.’ He squeezed her hand reassuringly. They walked on. A couple of the bikers stared at Michaela. Ben looked at the motorcycles and wondered what it would be like to ride one.
Then a biker with a bushy beard and an overhanging gut called out raucously, ‘Show us yer tits, love.’ It must have been the best witticism his mates had heard all night, because the rest of them all fell about racked with mirth.
Michaela tugged at Ben’s arm again and she shrank close to him, wanting to quicken her step to get past them. But Ben slowed his. He gazed at the fat biker. ‘Why don’t I show you something else instead?’
What came next was more than Ben had intended to happen. But it couldn’t have worked better if he’d planned it that way. Still holding Michaela’s hand he stepped off the kerb, planted one foot against the side of the nearest motorcycle, and gave it a push. The machine toppled off its sidestand and fell over, bumping into the one next to it. Which fell also, and hit the one next to it in turn.
The bikers watched in dumbfounded horror as the entire row came crashing down in a perfect domino effect. Mirrors crunched. Handlebars twisted. Lovingly polished chrome exhausts scratched and dented. The worst disaster imaginable.
Michaela was boggling at Ben, almost as aghast as the bikers were. Scarcely able to believe what effect one little push could have, he burst out laughing. Which perhaps, in retrospect, was adding a touch too much insult to injury.
The fat biker let out a shrill scream. He dropped his beer can and went waddling over to rescue his Harley as if it were an infant trapped under the rubble of a collapsed house. The rest of his mates joined him, yanking at crumpled handlebars and cissy bars in a desperate attempt to disentangle and right their beloved machines. But everything was so badly locked together that they’d need a crane, and maybe an angle grinder too.
The fat biker turned on Ben with froth bubbling at the corners of his mouth and murder flashing in his eyes. ‘I’ll fucking have you for that.’ He reached inside his jacket. His fist came out clenched around the handle of some kind of small, tatty-looking pistol and he pointed it at Ben, teeth bared in hatred.
Michaela let out a frightened cry. Ben just stared at the gun, because he’d never seen one before and part of him was genuinely curious about it. He had no idea what kind it was, whether it was even real or a blank-firing starter pistol. There was something he’d heard of called a Saturday Night Special, a favourite concealment weapon among gangs and hoodlums. Maybe it was one of those.
Whatever it was, he didn’t want it pointing anywhere near Michaela. He pulled her behind him, so that he was shielding her with his body. Then stepped towards the fat biker, reached out and, before the guy had a chance to react, whipped the gun out of his hand. The move took about a third of a second. Ben didn’t have any way of knowing it then, but before too long, military experts in unarmed combat would tell him he had a natural talent. In the years to follow, he would learn to do it even faster, against far more dangerous opponents.
In the blink of an eye, Ben went from having never seen a real gun to pointing one at a living human being for the first time in his life. He would have expected his heart to be thudding like a steam hammer and his hands to be shaking, but he felt strangely calm and felt no fear as he aimed the pistol at the fat biker’s face.
The rest of the bikers scattered, sprinting off in all directions. The fat one stood his ground, but only because he was paralysed with terror. His eyes were so wide, Ben thought his eyeballs were going to drop out like two hard-boiled eggs.
At that moment, the most awful smell filled the air. The biker had shit his pants. He stood there knock-kneed for a moment, mouth opening and closing; then his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed in a dead faint.
‘Oh, my God!’ Michaela covered her face with both hands.
Ben tossed the gun into the litter bin outside the chip shop. He looked down at the unconscious biker. The smell was bad enough to make your eyes water. The whole spectacle was so insane, Ben started laughing even more loudly than before. ‘Did you see that?’
For some reason, Michaela didn’t find it even faintly amusing. Recovering from the initial shock, she rounded on him angrily. ‘Ben, we have to get out of here, NOW!’
He was about to reply when there was the whoop of a siren and the street was suddenly swirling with blue light. The police car slid to a halt at the kerbside. A male and a female patrol officer got out. She was tall and sandy-haired, he was dark and reedy. The WPC ran over to the body on the ground while the male cop glared at Ben as though they’d stumbled across a murder scene.
‘I never touched him,’ Ben said, pointing. ‘He’s