Who next? Well, Fliss is another easy one. If Fliss was a bag, she would be a pink and fluffy girly kind of handbag with a lace trim and frills all over it. Yuck!!! Just the sort of thing I hate. Oh, and it would be a designer model too, of course – and very expensive. Fliss is big on things like that. She loves clothes, make-up, jewellery, doing people’s hair and the colour pink. Say no more! I suppose she’s quite pretty if you like that sort of thing – but there’s being pretty, and then there’s being pretty and really boring about it. Unfortunately, our Fliss is more like the second of the two…
That’s enough of me being horrible. Lyndz next – let’s see. Lyndz’s bag would probably have pictures of animals all over it – especially pictures of horses and dogs. Oh, and when you bought it, some of the proceeds would go to a kittens’ orphanage or a sanctuary for retired donkeys. Yes, Lyndz is truly nuts about animals – she’d do anything for them. Lyndz is kind of soppy sometimes too, but only in a nice way. She also gets the loudest hiccups you’ve ever heard in your life. Scary!!
Last but not least, Rosie. I’ve left her till last because she only joined our school fairly recently. Surprise surprise, Lyndz felt sorry for her ’cos she didn’t know anyone, and invited her to join our club. The rest of us were a bit mad at first because we don’t let just anyone join – but it turned out to be a good thing as Rosie is brilliant fun. The best thing about Rosie is her sense of humour though, so I reckon her bag would be quite trendy and nice, and would have something that made you laugh on it.
Anyway, the five of us are all in the same class at school, and we do just about everything together out of school too. Best of all, every weekend we have a sleepover at someone’s house. And guess what? That’s why we’re called the Sleepover Club! DERRRR!
Ever been to a sleepover? They are just the coolest thing. We all take our night stuff and torches and Sleepover diaries, and everyone brings loads of sweets that we can munch through the night. We play loads of ace games and then stay up all night telling horror stories or jokes. Sleepovers are the best!!
I tell a pretty mean horror story if I say so myself – Fliss gets scared sometimes and says she feels sick (what a wuss!!) while the rest of us get all giggly and screechy. You know when just the slightest thing gets you all scared and hysterical, and your heart starts beating dead fast, and then someone makes you JUMP?! Like that. EEEEEEK!!
Like the other week, when we were sleeping over at Lyndz’s, I told the others this story I’d got from my dad (he’s a doctor, so he tells me all the goriest, grossest things!!). He told me that in the olden days, about five hundred years ago, the doctors used to cure people by sticking leeches on them – ’cos they thought that while the leeches were sucking out your blood, they’d suck out all the bad stuff in you that was making you ill as well! Is that just gross or what?! YUCK!!
You know what’s it like if you’re lying there in the dark and getting all scared about something, though. Anything sets you off! Everyone was groaning and making “ugh” noises at my leech story – and of course Fliss was saying she felt sick as usual – so I decided to play a trick on Frankie, who I was lying next to.
“Imagine all those leeches on your body slurping away at your blood,” I said in a deep spooky voice, “and imagine them slithering over you to get to another juicy bit!” And then I made this huge slurpy noise and scrabbled my fingers through Frankie’s hair.
“Aaaaaargh!!!”
She let out this ginormous scream and I collapsed in giggles. Frankie can be mega LOUD sometimes! All the others jumped – but then when they heard me laughing, they all cracked up too.
Frankie whacked me round the head with a pillow. “Cow!” she yelled at me.
“Leech-brain!” I yelled back, whacking her so hard I toppled over and landed on her.
Somehow we had totally forgotten it was the middle of the night and we were meant to be quiet. Soon all five of us were having this free-for-all pillow fight in the dark. Ever done that? It is so funny! You don’t know where anyone is, and you’re just whacking away, hoping to get someone – and now and then you hear a scream and know you’ve hit a target!
Suddenly – crash! The door was flung open and there was Lyndz’s dad standing in the doorway.
“It’s a giant leech!” Lyndz yelled and we all screamed hysterically.
Lyndz’s dad switched the light on and blinked at the mess everywhere. Pillows thrown all over the place, sleeping bags tangled up where we’d scrambled out of them – and the five of us all out of breath and looking a bit spooked! Lyndz’s dad is a teacher at the comprehensive, so he’s a pro at telling kids off if he’s narked. He was a bit cross ’cos we’d woken baby Sam up. Uh-oh…
So sometimes my horror stories get us into trouble – but most of the time we can get away with it!
Anyway, back to this story. Ready? Tell you what – why don’t we go and sit in my garden while I tell you the whole lot? We can swing on the swings while I’m telling you – and then we can do some of those flying swing jumps off when we get really high. Come on – this way. Then I’ll tell you EVERYTHING!
Right. Story. Well, I suppose it started on a Saturday. It was the beginning of November, and of course Fliss the Virgo wanted us all to go Christmas shopping. No offence if you’re a Virgo or anything, but they’re just a bit too organised for me. You should see Fliss’s bedroom – everything’s arranged in neat little piles or hidden away in storage units, and everything matches. Pink. Very pink. Personally, my “storage unit” is the space under my bed, where I stuff everything. At least that way if I lose something, I’m pretty sure where it will be.
But anyway, Felicity “Miss Organised 1999” Sidebotham wanted us to go Christmas shopping, even though Christmas was absolutely weeks and weeks away. Christmas shopping’s for Christmas Eve, that’s what I say, but sometimes you just can’t argue with Fliss. She gets that stubborn look on her face, and you know that’s it! You’ve got to go along with her.
Rosie talked me into it in the end. “I’m not going to be buying anything either, ’cos I’m skint,” she said, frank as ever. “But we could go Christmas wish-shopping – where we look for things we want as presents from other people!”
Ooh! I liked the sound of that much more. “Brilliant one, Rosie,” I said. “The new sports shop it is, then!”
The others all groaned. “Ooh, surprise us,” said Frankie, rolling her eyes. “Let me guess… Could it possibly be something to do with…”
“Football!” everyone yelled out together.
I grinned. Did I mention that I love football?! Ahh. I already told you.
“C’mooooon you Foxes!” I shouted, jumping up and down. “I want to have a look at the new strip – I mean, we’re three months into the season and I haven’t even got the new top yet!”
Us five always have a good laugh in town – even if Fliss does drag us round every single clothes shop most of the time. YAWWWWWN! First of all, we went into Boots because Lyndz wanted to get some bubble bath for her mum. Fliss spent ages examining every type of nail varnish while we were in there, leaving me, Frankie and Rosie in front of this shelf of all sorts of yucky things like wart cream and sprays for smelly feet.
“OK, who can find the grossest thing?” Rosie said. “We should club together and buy it for someone we don’t like.”
“How