‘Yeah, right.’ Ruby shook her head. ‘I don’t get what’s happening, Merry. You’re missing classes. You’re about to be kicked off the athletics team, which used to be like, your life.’ She paused and examined her fingernails. ‘You never seem to want to hang out any more.’
‘That’s not true. It’s just—’
Ruby carried on talking, ignoring Merry’s protest. ‘And have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately? You’re a mess. You look like you’re on drugs, or something—’ She broke off and crouched down next to Merry. ‘You’re not on drugs, are you?’
‘No! Course not.’
‘Well … I don’t know what you’ve got going on with this Jack bloke, but he sounds like bad news to me. I thought we were best mates. But I’m not going to keep covering for you if you don’t start acting more … normal.’
Merry had found herself an unsuitable boyfriend: that’s what Ruby had assumed. When Merry asked if she could use her as an excuse to get out of the house, Ruby thought that Merry was hooking up with someone she needed to keep hidden from her mother. Merry had gone along with it; there was no way she was going to attempt to explain to Ruby what was really going on.
But Gran needed help distracting Mum from Merry’s frequent absences, so Merry needed Ruby to keep covering for her.
‘OK, look – I promise you I am not in an abusive relationship.’ Strictly true. ‘Jack’s older than me, that’s all.’ Also true. ‘And all the other stuff – I’m just really stressed about the exams, and what I’m going to do after school.’ Ruby didn’t look that convinced. ‘Honestly, I’m going to sort myself out, but I just need to get through the next few weeks. Jack’s leaving soon, and I won’t see him again.’ And that was true too: if the manuscript was right, either Jack would be dead at the end of all this, or she would be.
Ruby was still watching her, her eyes full of doubt.
Merry pressed her knuckles hard against her breastbone, pushing the panic and fear and anger back under the surface, praying that Ruby would believe her. ‘Hey, I’m not doing anything at lunch. Why don’t we go to the cafe in the park? See if that fit waiter’s working this week?’
Ruby smiled slightly, but shook her head. ‘Can’t. I said I’d go into town with Ciara. She wants me to look at shoes with her.’ She stood up. ‘Maybe next week, yeah?’
‘Sure.’
Merry watched her go. She’s really angry with me. Or she’s just going off me. Not surprising, since I’ve stopped… She dropped her head into her hands. I guess she’s finally realising that, deep down, I’m not a very nice person …
She’d lost Alex, now she was losing Ruby. Soon, her brother would be the only friend she had left.
Leo was leaning forwards, explaining. It was Sunday evening, three days after Merry had blown up the portable heater. But Leo had gone straight out and bought a new one: they were nearly halfway through March now, but the evenings were no warmer. Colder, if anything: the ground beneath them frozen solid.
‘So that’s when I first thought, yeah, I’d really like to be a doctor.’
Merry laughed, despite the now-constant sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, the anxiety that lay like chainmail across her shoulders.
‘All because you stole my toy doctor’s kit and kept pretending I was dying of the Black Death?’
Jack – who’d looked pretty blank during most of Leo’s explanation – reached forwards to take a biscuit from the packet Merry had brought with her, revealing a fresh red welt across his forearm.
Leo sighed.
‘I guess it doesn’t seem so funny when you’ve seen real bloodshed …’
Jack dropped the biscuit and sat back, tugging the sleeves of his tunic down.
Merry didn’t comment. She and Leo had guessed at what was happening: that Gwydion was punishing Jack for his failure to do whatever it was he was supposed to be doing, whether that was cut people’s hearts out or just stick his sword into them. But Jack wouldn’t talk about it, let alone allow Leo to use modern medicine to help him … She blinked hard. Pity wouldn’t help Jack. ‘And what about you, Jack?’ she asked. ‘What did you want to do with your life? I mean, before Gwydion?’
Jack’s shoulders relaxed again. ‘I did not want to be a carpenter like my father, for all I loved helping him fell the trees and shape the wood. It all seems so distant now, almost like – like somebody else’s life, that I heard of in a story. I had great plans, of course. I wanted to leave the village, to see the world.’ He sighed and smiled briefly. ‘That was before I found out I was the son of the king. I only spent one day as an aetheling, and during the first part of that day, at least, my wishes were mainly to do with not falling off my horse.’
‘I’m sure you would’ve been a really good king, Jack,’ Leo offered.
‘I am less certain. However, it is kind of you to say so.’ He shook his head, as though shaking away memories. ‘And what of you, Merry? What do you wish your life to be?’
Merry had a sudden vision of her – still uncompleted – careers questionnaire.
‘Really, I have no clue. I guess you’ve always been much more focused than me, haven’t you?’ She looked over at her brother, who shrugged. ‘But—’
Leo’s phone buzzed. He glanced at it, drew in his breath sharply and jabbed his fingers at the phone to unlock it. Watching his face by the glow of the screen, Merry thought he was about to be sick.
‘Oh, no …’
‘Leo? What’s happened?’
Silence for a moment. And then –
‘It’s a text from Mum.’ Grabbing his bag, Leo started trying to drag the picnic blanket out from underneath Merry, tipping her back on to her elbows. ‘Get up! We have to go.’
‘But – but we can’t both leave! I mean, what about—’ Merry waved a hand at Jack. ‘He’ll come back, and if we’re not here—’
‘God – I guess—’ Leo groaned and squatted back down on the blanket next to her. ‘Mum bumped into Ruby’s mum at the train station. She’s found out you’re not with Ruby, at least not this evening. Now she’s on her way to The Swan.’
‘The Swan?’
Leo threw his hands in the air.
‘The pub, Merry – the place I’m supposed to be working this evening? I told her I was covering for Dan.’
‘Oh, God.’
‘Exactly.’ They both turned to look at Jack, who sat looking down at his feet. ‘Er – OK – you stay here with Jack. If I leave now I might just make it before she does. If you can find anything out from Ruby – like how much damage has been done – text me.’ Leo stood up again and fished the car keys out of his pocket. ‘I’ll get back as soon as I can. You going to be alright?’
‘I’ll be fine, just go.’ Merry pulled her phone out of her bag and messaged Ruby.
What’s happened? How much does mum know?
She waited a couple of minutes.
R u there?
Please, what’s happening?
Still nothing. Merry swore and threw the phone down on to the blanket, trying to think: what would Ruby tell her mum? Was she going to drop her in it, after their conversation on Friday?