The Bumpy Road to Married Bliss. Chris Dicken

were any ideas we could use.

      What became clear to us was that neither of us wanted to blindly follow any traditions and it was important for us to have a wedding that reflected our own sense of style. Also, because we weren’t involving any family members in the planning, we didn’t need to cater to any other stakeholders (which happens far too often in most weddings, especially if parents are helping to pay for it). So we could do whatever we wanted – and this, of course, left us paralysed with indecision.

      So which features have we liked about weddings we have been to? Open bar, good food, beautiful venue – all of these have been important parts of the more memorable weddings, although an open bar can be expensive and potentially messy. Some other nice weddings we have been to really reflected the personalities of the couple, like one wedding that was done on a tight budget, where the couple had ordered vegetarian curries from their favourite neighbourhood Indian restaurant and ice cream from their local dessert shop.

      And some of the less fun weddings we’ve attended have had really long services (Catholic weddings in particular!) or have been too stuffy and formal – or, on the opposite side of the spectrum, have been disorganised, didn’t have seating arrangements, or included large numbers of children running amok.

      With all this in mind, one of the biggest decisions we made was for our wedding to be a child-free event. At the end of the day, what we wanted to do was show our closest friends and family members a really good night out, and we figured that most of our friends who are parents would understand, and they might even look forward to having some child-free time so that they could let their hair down. Otherwise they would be stuck in parent mode, making sure the kids were fed and weren’t too tired or having an embarrassing meltdown.

      But this also meant that Chris’s three adorable little nephews, two twins aged three and a five-year-old, wouldn’t be able to take part.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

      Chris – 8 December 2011

      Very excitingly, tonight we’ve decided that once our relationship has legal recognition and support, we will finally have the stability and security to bring a new life into the world.

      Before you get too excited, the new life we have in mind is the four-legged and furry variety – Donny and I are going to get a puppy!

      You see, whatever shape our wedding ends up being, we’ve decided that it isn’t going to be a way for us to get more things for our flat. We are not a young couple starting out in life together. We’ve both lived full lives already and have all the possessions we need. We certainly don’t require new dinner plates or glassware.