I have to push past him to get out of the crush, but this might be my only chance to speak to him. I clear my throat, look at his shoulder and mumble, “Excuse me.”
He looks down, spots me and shifts to the left to let me through. “Sorry.” His voice is hoarse from years of smoking, but the voice of his thoughts is even grittier. I think I know this chick. There’s a flash of recognition in his eyes, and then, No, maybe not. He turns his attention back to the tuck-shop. Man, I’m starving. Then the lyrics of some rap song, and then, once more with passion, Man! I’m starving! and back to the song.
I walk away from the tuck-shop. OK, so I’m a little disheartened. I know Thuli is smart because he’s always part of the Syringa team for the Inter-School Maths and Science Fair, and I thought his head would be full of complex theories and stuff. At least he’s not thinking about sex, which is more than I can say for most boys.
“Finally!” Lebz exclaims when I approach, snatching her food from my arms.
“You’re welcome,” I say wryly, handing Wiki his drink before sitting down. “Guess who I ran into? He was right behind me in line at the tuck-shop. Our bodies were a centimetre apart.”
Lebz raises her eyebrows and talks through a mouthful of chips. “Not Lizard again?”
I flinch at her disgusted tone. “No. Thuli.”
“Oh!” She swallows and regards me with suspicion. “Why aren’t you excited?”
“I am excited.” I shake my packet of chips to distribute the salt.
“What did he say?” Lebz rolls her eyes. “Did he ask you for a lighter? I think that’s the only thing he ever says to me. ‘Hey Lebz. Got a light?’ As if I look like someone who wants lungs full of tar.”
“He said, ‘Sorry’.” I smile sheepishly. “I asked him to excuse me, because he was blocking my way, so he moved. It was nothing.”
Lebz and Wiki exchange glances. Wiki closes his book.
I blink at them. “What?”
“It was nothing?” Lebz is peering into my face as if she’s just noticed a giant zit. “You’ve been obsessed with this guy for three years! You finally get close enough to talk to him and all you have to say is ‘it was nothing’?”
“It’s not like you to be so casual about Thuli,” adds Wiki. “Unless…”
I put a chip into my mouth and give him an innocent stare.
“Are you over him?” Lebz shrieks, thrilled by the prospect.
“I’m not over him,” I protest, but I’m not quite sure. I still get excited when I see Thuli; butterflies, heart palpitations, the whole thing. But… I don’t know. Three years is a long time for unrequited love. Maybe I’m fed up. Maybe I expected to look into his eyes and see his soul. Maybe I thought I’d be overwhelmed by his genius. Maybe I expected him to react with a little more interest. What I didn’t expect was a rap song and commentary on his growling stomach.
“Oh my God!” Lebz gasps, eyes wide. “You read his mind, didn’t you? It was disgusting, or full of smoke. That’s it, isn’t it?”
I sigh. “Don’t be stupid. He had some song in his head – that’s all. I just…” It’s starting to hit me now. Years of anticipation. The million times I’ve imagined our first conversation, and the crushing disappointment of reality. “There was nothing. He looked right at me for the first time and there was nothing. No magic. He thought he recognised me, then changed his mind.” I start to laugh. “Changed his mind! Can you believe that? After all these years.”
“He doesn’t know who you are,” says Wiki. “You can’t expect him to fall in love at first sight.”
“I know that.” I’m annoyed by his callous pragmatism. I know I’m no supermodel, but I’ve liked Thuli forever. I don’t think it’s possible to have that kind of intense emotion directed at you and not know it. “But how many times has he seen us together? How many times has he spoken to one of you when I was standing right there? And he doesn’t recognise me! I’m invisible!”
“Thuli has no taste and no sense.” Lebz reaches over to tuck a stray curl into my hair band. “But if he got to know you he’d love you.”
I nod and munch my chips, but I know she’s just saying that to make me feel better. I shouldn’t even be upset. Didn’t I want to be invisible, the average, ordinary girl? That’s what I get. Why would Thuli notice me when he can notice everybody else?
“It doesn’t matter,” I declare with more conviction than I feel. “I don’t have time to pine away after a boy who doesn’t even know my name. Listen Lebz, what do you know about this Rose girl?”
She and Wiki exchange glances again.
“Stop it,” I snap. “I’m not about to fall apart or something. Can we focus on Ma-fourteen, please?”
Wiki frowns. He’s thinking – no, I don’t know what he’s thinking. My telepathy is flickering again, like a light about to go out. I reach up to rub my temples.
Lebz puts her hand on my shoulder. “Thuli’s not worth your tears.”
“I’m not crying.” I raise my head. “My head feels funny.”
“Another headache?” asks Wiki warily.
“No, but…” Now the switch is back on and I can see and hear everything as clearly as ever. Strange. “Never mind, I’m fine. Forget Thuli. It’s about time I got over him anyway, right?”
“Right,” says Lebz, a little too eagerly.
I get to my feet. “I’ll be back. I need some water.” I feel strange. Not sick exactly, but not quite well. As I walk towards the standpipe near the school gate, the thoughts in my head flicker again. When I return, Lebz and Wiki are dead quiet and the other realm is hazy.
“Do you have feelings for Black Lizard?”
My heart jumps out of my chest, into my throat, then back down behind my ribcage with a thud. I gape at Lebz. “Are you crazy?”
“Are you?” she counters in dismay.
“Rakwena and I are barely even friends,” I point out in my most sensible tone. “Where did this come from? Weren’t you just telling me to forget about Thuli?”
She gasps and shoots a horrified glance at Wiki. “You were right! She’s already thinking of him as the rebound guy!”
“Rebound?” I’m completely confused. “Don’t you have to break-up before you can go on the rebound? And you need a relationship to have a break-up, so…”
She carries on as if I haven’t said a word. “God, it’s worse than I thought! I understand you’ve had a lot to deal with – telepathy, being disappointed by Thuli – but chasing strange men is not going to make you feel better.”
Chasing? Men? I let out an incredulous giggle. “Lebz, really…”
“I get the whole bad boy thing,OK?” she goes on, taking my hand. “We’ve all been there. It’s part of life and you grow out of it. I accepted Thuli, even though he’s weird and annoying, but Black Lizard is another story.”
“Lebz-”
“He’s creepy. It’s not even about the tattoo or that ugly-ass scar. He’s just freaky, you know? The way he watches you and says nothing, hiding in corners… Maybe he seems exciting to you and you feel like you can handle it because you’ve got powers and stuff, but trust me, you’re only going to get hurt.”
I glance at Wiki, who lifts his shoulders in a sheepish shrug. Then I turn