‘We’re about to find out,’ Jimbo said, ‘and I’m not sure I want to know.’
Eventually Stirling climbed up onto the back of the three-tonner and Lorrimer bawled that the men were to gather around. This they all did, most still smoking and puffing clouds of smoke.
‘Sorry, lads, about the state of this place,’ Stirling said, waving his right hand to indicate the tents behind the men, ‘but I’m sure we can do something to improve on it.’
‘With what?’ Jimbo called out.
‘Shut your mouth, soldier, and let the boss speak!’ Lorrimer bawled.
‘Boss?’ Taff whispered to Frankie. ‘Did he use the word “boss”?’
‘SILENCE!’ Lorrimer roared.
‘I appreciate your frustration, lads,’ Stirling continued, ‘but all is not lost. Indeed, I’m led to believe that there’s a splendid Allied camp about fifteen miles south of here, where the New Zealanders, in particular, live rather well.’
‘Is that some kind of message?’ Neil asked.
Stirling’s manner was deadpan. ‘Without being too specific, let me merely remind you that your first priority is to complete the construction of this base camp by whatever means are at your disposal. I’ll be returning to Cairo immediately to collect more vehicles from the Royal Corps of Transport and weapons from the armoury at Geneifa. When I get back here I expect to find things greatly improved. How you do it is not my concern; nor will I be here to witness it. I can only add the information that the Kiwis will be away from their base on manœuvres most of tonight and their tents will therefore be empty. That’s all. Class dismissed.’
Taking the hint, a dozen of the men drove in the battered three-tonner that same evening to the large, fenced compound fifteen miles away, stretched out across a dusty plain above the Mediterranean and being used by British, Australian and Indian troops, as well as the Kiwis.
Deciding that the only thing to do was bluff it, Jimbo drove boldly through the main gate as if they belonged there. ‘New Zealand Division!’ Taff yelled as the lorry passed the bored Indian guard. Receiving no more than a nod of permission from the guard, Jimbo continued driving, passing row upon row of tents, tanks, other armoured vehicles and the many trucks of first the British, then the Indian lines, until arriving at the New Zealand area. There he switched off the headlights and the rest of the men piled out, letting their eyes adjust to the darkness, then using torches to locate what they needed in the tents temporarily vacated by the Kiwis.
It took them quite a while, but it was well worth the effort, for they managed to pile the three-tonner high with lamps, tables, chairs, steel lockers, washbasins, mirrors, cooking utensils, proper camp beds, mattresses, sheets, towels, portable showers and latrines, tents large and small, camouflage netting, and even crates of beer and spirits.
‘Come on, lads!’ Taff whispered when they had been busily thieving for an hour. ‘Let’s take this lot back to base. Then we’ll return for some more.’
‘You’ve got a fucking nerve,’ Jimbo said, grinning.
‘Piece of piss,’ Taff replied.
They made three runs in all, boldly driving in and out of the camp, waving cheerily at the Indian guard and passing the British and Indian lines as if they belonged there. Eventually, even the daring Taff checked his watch, noted that it was almost dawn, and became a bit nervous.
‘Let’s pack it in and get out of here,’ he told them. ‘It’ll soon be first light and the Kiwis will probably return then. We can’t afford to get caught now.’
‘Right,’ Frankie agreed. ‘Let’s get going.’
They were hurrying out of the last, largest tent, obviously used as a mess tent, when the musically inclined Jimbo stopped, stared lovingly at a dust-covered item in one corner, near a long trestle table, and said, ‘Oh, God, look at that beauty!’
‘What?’ Neil asked, perplexed.
‘I want her. I need her!’
The rest stared at Jimbo as if he was mad. ‘Are you kidding?’ Frankie asked eventually. ‘That’s a bloody piano!’
Jimbo ran his fingers lovingly over the keyboard without making any sound. ‘A real darlin’, lads. Going to waste here. It could cheer things up a bit in our mess – when we get a mess going. What about it?’
‘Jesus, Jimbo!’
‘We could have a regular Saturday night. Make the beer slip down even smoother. Come on, lads, let’s grab it.’
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ Taff said, exasperated and amused at the same time. ‘Just grab the bloody thing and let’s go. Move it, lads! Now!’
The piano was humped onto the lorry, easily placed there because this last load was light, then the dozen men climbed up to seat themselves around it. Jimbo then drove boldly back through the camp and waved as usual to the Indian guard at the main gate. The latter, seeing the piano, looked suspicious for the first time, but Jimbo was off and gone in a cloud of dust before he could be stopped.
Once back at Kabrit, where the sun was shedding dawn light over the Great Bitter Lake, painting it crimson, the men unloaded their last haul, had a brew-up and cold breakfast to get them through to lunchtime. They then enthusiastically raised the brand-new tents they had stolen, camouflaged them with the netting, filled them with beds, steel lockers, tables and chairs, hung mirrors from the uprights, filled the lockers with their belongings, and placed family photos on their tables and cupboards.
When their sleeping arrangements had been sorted out, they raised the biggest tent, to be used as the mess tent, helped the cook set up his kitchen, carried in the long trestle tables and chairs, stacked the crates of beer and spirits beside a refrigerator run off a portable electric generator, and finally wheeled the piano in.
Jimbo stood back to admire it. ‘Looks beautiful, don’t it?’
‘A real treat,’ Frankie told him. ‘What about a tune?’
‘You mean now?’
‘Why not? Having just nicked it, we’d like to know if you can actually play the fucking thing.’
‘I can play,’ Jimbo said.
When he had expertly given them a Vera Lynn medley, his fingers light on the keys, they all gathered outside to help two former REME men raise the portable showers and thunderboxes. Jimbo had an experimental shit and pronounced the latrines operational. For the rest of the hour leading up to lunchtime, there was a general rush to make use of them.
Later that day Stirling returned from Cairo in a jeep, leading a convoy of other jeeps and lorries for the use of L Detachment. When the vehicles had been parked, the Royal Corps of Transport drivers climbed into a Bedford and were driven back to their own base at Geneifa. Stirling then told his SAS troopers to unload the assortment of large and small weapons he had brought in one of the lorries. These included the brand-new Sten gun, Vickers and Browning heavy machine-guns, the M1 Thompson sub-machine-gun, and the obligatory Bren light machine-gun. These were stacked up in one of the smaller tents, to be used as an armoury under the charge of Corporal Jim Almonds.
By nightfall, when the burning heat was being replaced by freezing cold, the desolate ‘piss-hole’ of Kabrit was a well-equipped operational base and Jimbo was playing the piano in the noisy mess tent.
Their training began at first light the next day with a more intensive weapons course than any of them had ever undergone before. Assuming that their greatest need would be for a barrage of fire at relatively close range to cover