Still scanning the designs, he spoke absentmindedly. “I suppose I ought to finish my rounds.”
“You’re leaving already?”
“Not to worry, darling. I’ll see you at dinner.”
Yes, I thought, but you’ll see all of us at dinner.
“Is everything all right?” I asked.
“Of course,” he answered, offering me a quick kiss. On the cheek. “I have to run. We’ll talk again soon.”
And, just as suddenly as he appeared, he was gone.
As of Sunday, the Halloween party was eight days away, which meant the palace was a hurricane of activity.
On Monday the Elite spent the morning with Queen Amberly taste testing and approving a menu for the party. It was easily the best task we’d been given so far. That afternoon, however, Celeste was missing from the Women’s Room for a few hours. When she returned around four, she announced to us all, “Maxon sends his love.”
Tuesday afternoon we greeted extended members of the royal family who were coming to town for the festivities. But that morning we all watched out the window as Maxon gave Kriss an archery lesson in the gardens.
Meals were full of guests who had come to stay early, but Maxon was often missing, as well as Marlee and Natalie.
I felt more and more embarrassed. I’d made a mistake by confessing my feelings to Maxon. For all his talk, he couldn’t really be interested in me if his first instinct was to spend time with everyone else.
I’d all but lost hope by Friday when I found myself sitting at the piano in my room after the Report, wishing that Maxon would come.
He didn’t.
I tried to put it out of my mind on Saturday, as the Elite were obligated to entertain the influx of ladies at the palace in the Women’s Room in the morning and have yet another dance rehearsal in the afternoon.
Thank goodness our family chose to focus on music and art as Fives, because I was a terrible dancer. The only person in the room worse than me was Natalie. Obnoxiously enough, Celeste was the epitome of gracefulness. More than once the instructors asked her to help others in the room, the result of which was Natalie nearly twisting her ankle because of Celeste’s intentionally poor guidance.
Smooth as a snake, Celeste faulted Natalie’s two left feet for her problems. The teachers believed her, and Natalie laughed it all off. I admired Natalie for not letting Celeste get to her.
Aspen had been there for all the lessons. The first few times I avoided him, not really sure I wanted to interact with him. I heard rumors that the guards were switching schedules so fast it was dizzying. Some wanted to go to the party desperately while others had girls back home and would be in huge trouble if they were seen dancing with someone else, especially since five of us would be eligible again soon and in very high demand.
But seeing as this was our last formal rehearsal, when Aspen was near enough to offer me a dance, I didn’t turn him down.
“Are you all right?” he asked. “You’ve seemed down the last few times I’ve seen you.”
“Just tired,” I lied. I couldn’t talk with him about boy problems.
“Really?” he asked doubtfully. “I was sure that it meant bad news was coming.”
“What do you mean?” Did he know something I didn’t?
He sighed. “If you’re preparing to tell me that I need to stop fighting for you, that’s not a conversation I want to have.”
In truth, I hadn’t even thought about Aspen in the last week or so. I was so consumed by my mistimed words and mistaken guesses, I couldn’t consider anything else. And here, while I’d been worried about Maxon letting me go, Aspen had been worrying about me doing the same to him.
“That’s not what it is,” I answered vaguely, feeling guilty.
He nodded, satisfied with that response for now. “Ouch!”
“Oops!” I said. I genuinely hadn’t meant to step on him. I worked to focus a little more on the dancing.
“I’m sorry, Mer, but you’re terrible.” He was chuckling even though the heel of my shoe had to have hurt him.
“I know, I know,” I said breathlessly. “I’m trying, I swear!”
I pranced around the room like a blind moose, but what I lacked in grace I made up for in effort. Aspen, kindly, did his best to make me look good, attempting to be a little less on the beat to be in time with me. That was so typical of him, always trying to be my hero.
By the end of that last lesson, I at least knew all the steps. I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t accidentally take out a visiting diplomat with an energetic kick of my leg, but I’d do my best. As I considered that image, I realized it was no wonder Maxon was having second thoughts. I’d be an embarrassment to take to another country let alone receive anyone here. I just didn’t have that princess air about me.
I sighed and went to get a cup of water. Aspen followed me while the rest of the girls left.
“So,” he started. I did a sweep of the room to make sure no one was watching. “I have to assume that if you’re not worried about me, you’re worried about him.”
I lowered my eyes and blushed. How well he knew me.
“Not that I’m cheering for him or anything, but if he can’t see how amazing you are, he’s an idiot.”
I smiled, continuing to study the floor.
“And if you don’t get to be princess then, so what? That doesn’t make you any less incredible. And you know . . . you know . . .” He couldn’t get out what he wanted to say, and I risked looking at his face.
In Aspen’s eyes I saw a thousand different endings to that sentence, all of them connecting him to me. That he was still waiting for me. That he knew me better than anyone. That we were the same. That a few months at the palace couldn’t erase two years. No matter what, Aspen would always be there for me.
“I know, Aspen. I do.”
I STOOD IN LINE WITH the other girls in the massive foyer of the palace, bouncing on the balls of my feet.
“Lady America,” Silvia whispered, and that was all it took to know I was behaving in an unacceptable way. As our main tutor for the Selection, she took our actions quite personally.
I tried to still myself. I envied Silvia and the staff and the handful of guards who were moving around the space if only for the fact that they were allowed to walk. If I could do the same, I knew I’d feel much calmer.
Maybe if Maxon was here already it wouldn’t be so bad. Then again, maybe it would make me more anxious. I still couldn’t figure out why, after everything, he hadn’t made any time for me lately.
“They’re here!” I heard through the palace doors. I wasn’t the only one who made sounds of delight.
“All right, ladies!” Silvia called. “Best behavior! Butlers and maids against the wall, please.”
We tried to be the lovely, regal young women Silvia wanted us to, but the second Kriss’s and Marlee’s parents made it through the doorway, it all fell apart. I knew that both girls were only children, and it was obvious their parents missed them too much to bother with decorum. They ran in screaming, and Marlee dashed out of the line without so much as a pause.
Celeste’s parents were more put