Quickly, remembering the procedure that she had seen at every ceremony, Kira arranged her hands in a reverent position, cupped together, fingertips below her chin, as she arrived at the table and looked respectfully toward the Worship-object on the stage. The guardians nodded approvingly. Apparently it had been the right gesture. She relaxed a bit, waiting, wondering what would happen next.
The door guard responded to a second knock and announced a second entry. “The accuser, Vandara!” he called.
So: it was to be the two of them. Kira watched as Vandara strode rapidly toward the table until they were side by side, facing the Council of Guardians. It gave her a small feeling of satisfaction to notice that Vandara’s feet were bare and her face dirty; the woman had made no special preparations. Perhaps none was necessary. But Kira felt that possibly she had gained a small bit of respect, a small advantage, with her cleanliness.
Vandara made the worshipful gesture with her hands. So they were even there. Then Vandara bowed, and Kira saw with a twinge of concern that the Guardians nodded their heads toward her.
I should have bowed. I must find an occasion to bow.
“We meet to pass judgment on a conflict.” The chief guardian, a white-haired man with a four-syllable name that Kira could never remember, spoke in an authoritative voice.
I had no conflict. I only wanted to rebuild my cott and live my life.
“Who is the accuser?” the white-haired man asked. Of course he knew the answer, Kira thought. But the question seemed to be ceremonial, part of the formal proceedings. It was answered by another of the guardians, a heavy-set man at the end of the table who had several thick books and a stack of papers in front of him. Kira eyed the volumes curiously. She had always yearned to read. But women were not allowed.
“Chief guardian, the accuser is the woman Vandara.”
“And the accused?”
“The accused is the orphan girl Kira.” The man glanced at the papers but didn’t seem to be reading anything.
Accused? What am I accused of? Hearing the repetition of the word, Kira felt a wave of panic. But I can use it as a chance to bow and show humility. She inclined her head and upper body slightly, acknowledging herself as the accused.
The white-haired man looked at the two of them dispassionately. Kira, leaning on her stick, tried to stand as straight as possible. She was almost as tall as her accuser. But Vandara was older, heavier, and unflawed except for the scar, the reminder that she had fought a beast and escaped alive. Hideous though it was, the scar emphasized her strength. Kira’s flaw carried no illustrious history, and she felt weak, inadequate, and doomed beside the disfigured, angry woman.
“The accuser will speak first,” the chief guardian instructed.
Vandara’s voice was firm and bitter. “The girl should have been taken to the Field when she was born and still nameless. It is the way.”
“Go on,” the chief guardian said.
“She was imperfect. And fatherless as well. She should not have been kept.”
But I was strong. And my eyes were bright. My mother told me. She wouldn’t let me go. Kira shifted her weight, resting her twisted leg, remembering the story of her birth, and wondering if she would have an opportunity to tell it here. I gripped her thumb so tightly.
“We have all tolerated her presence for these years,” Vandara went on. “But she has not contributed. She cannot dig or plant or weed, or even tend the domestic beasts the way other girls her age do. She drags that dead leg around like a useless burden. She is slow, and she eats a lot.”
The Council of Guardians was listening carefully. Kira’s face felt warm with embarrassment. It was true, that she ate a lot. It was all true, what her accuser was saying.
I can try to eat less. I can go hungry. In her mind, Kira prepared her defense, but even as she did, she felt that it would be weak and whining.
“She was kept, against the rules, because her grandfather was still alive and had power. But he is long gone, replaced by a new leader with more power and wisdom—”
Vandara oozed compliments designed to strengthen her case, and Kira glanced at the chief guardian to see if he was swayed by the flattery. But his face was impassive.
“Her father was killed by beasts even before her birth. And now her mother is dead,” Vandara went on. “There is even reason to think that her mother may have carried an illness that will endanger others—”
No! She was the only one to fall ill! Look at me! I lay beside her when she died, and I am not ill!
“—and the women need the space where their cott was. There is no room for this useless girl. She can’t marry. No one wants a cripple. She takes up space, and food, and she causes problems with the discipline of the tykes, telling them stories, teaching them games so that they make noise and disrupt the work—”
The chief guardian waved his hand. “Enough,” he announced.
Vandara frowned and fell silent. She bowed slightly.
The chief guardian looked around the table at the eleven others as if he sought comments or questions. One by one they nodded at him. No one said anything.
“Kira,” the white-haired chief guardian said, “as a two-syllable girl, you are not required to defend yourself.”
“Not defend myself? But—” Kira had planned to bow again, but forgot in her urgency. Now she remembered, but her bow was an awkward afterthought.
He waved his hand again, signaling her silence. She forced herself to be still and to listen.
“Because of your youth,” he explained, “you have a choice. You may defend yourself—”
She interrupted again, unable to stop. “Oh, yes! I want to def—”
He ignored her outburst. “Or we will appoint a defender on your behalf. One of us will defend you, using our greater wisdom and experience. Take a moment to think about this, because your life may depend upon it, Kira.”
But you are strangers to me! How can you tell the story of my birth? How can you describe my bright eyes, the strength of my hand as I gripped my mother’s thumb?
Kira stood helplessly, her future at stake. She felt the hostility beside her; Vandara’s breath was quick and angry though her voice had been silenced. She looked at the men seated around the table, trying to assess them as defenders. But she felt from them neither hostility nor much interest, just a sense of expectation as they waited for her decision.
As Kira agonized, her hands pushed their way into the deep pockets of her woven shift. She felt the familiar outline of her mother’s wooden comb and stroked it for comfort. With her thumb she felt a small square of decorated woven cloth. She had forgotten the strip of cloth in the recent confusing days; now she remembered how this one, this design, had come, unbidden to her hands as she sat beside her mother in the last days.
When she was much younger, the knowledge had come quite unexpectedly to her, and she recalled the look of amazement on her mother’s face as she watched Kira choose and pattern the threads one afternoon with a sudden sureness. “I didn’t teach you that!” her mother said, laughing with delight and astonishment. “I wouldn’t know how!” Kira hadn’t known how either, not really. It had come about almost magically, as if the threads had spoken to her, or sung. After that first time, the knowledge had grown.
She clutched the cloth, remembering the sense of certainty it had given to her. She felt none of that sureness now. A speech of defense was not within her. She knew she