Stir Me Up. Sabrina Elkins

noticed. This is for you to try.”

      “Hmm.” He frowns and watches me stuff the herbed goat cheese into a pastry bag. I’ve added mascarpone to it to make it the right consistency.

      “You’re making me nervous,” I say.

      “Too bad.”

      “But this is the hard part.”

      “So?”

      I sigh and take a red beet rectangle and a golden beet rectangle and align them so they’re matched up.

      “We need to talk about college,” Dad says.

      “Not now.” Pastry bag with a star tip. Damn, do I want the star tip or the regular one? Dad’s eyeing me. Rectangle—star tip—is that too busy? Yes. I take the cheese out of the bag and Dad’s eyebrows go up.

      “We really should take a trip up there so you can see the school,” he says, “have an interview.”

      “No thanks. The interview’s optional. I opt out.” I get the tip I need from the pastry department, replace it in the bag and start again.

      “Keep it small,” Dad coaches.

      “I am keeping it small.”

      “Smaller.”

      “Smaller?”

      “Oui—un petit morceau.”

      Okay. I line up the next pair of rectangles so they’re about twenty degrees turned to the left. They tilt on the goat cheese. “Merde.”

      “Keep going.”

      I add another dot of goat cheese and Dad’s right. It helps with the balance. “This isn’t going to work,” I mutter.

      “It might.”

      “It’ll tip.”

      “Keep going. Try it.”

      Okay—I add the next layer. Twenty degrees more to the left. And it starts tipping.

      “With a college degree you have options.”

      I’m sick of hearing this. So, I ignore it. “Maybe I should just make it a pyramid or something.”

      “No, keep going,” Dad says. “It’s working.”

      I add one more layer and it starts falling apart. “Damn it.”

      “Tomorrow you’ll try again.”

      “I can’t. I have school. You remember school—that which you are forcing me to do for four more years?”

      “It’s better than making this mess.”

      “It wouldn’t have been a mess if you hadn’t been bothering me.”

      “You’re going up to Burlington with me.”

      “If I go will you add my Napoleon to the menu?”

      “No. The dish needs work.”

      I grit my teeth and say nothing.

      “Clean up your mess.”

      “I’m not going to UVM with you.”

      He looks at me and frowns. “I don’t want you to just be a chef all your life. Work so hard. Never have time for your children on evenings or weekends or holidays. You’re a woman. You’ll be a mother. Cooking is okay when you’re young, but as you get older you’ll need something with regular hours and security. You should go to the university. Work part-time as a chef while you’re up there if you want. But at least get the degree so you have a way to make something else of your life when you get older and your priorities change.”

      I’ve heard this speech before. Many times, in fact. “Uh-huh.”

      “What are you doing?”

      “Trying again.” My fingers, I realize, are the problem. I switch to toothpicks.

      “Less goat cheese as you go higher.”

      “Yeah.” I use less. When I get the final layer on, I glance at Dad. He’s completely focused on my creation.

      “Et voilà!” I say. “Ta-da!”

      Dad smiles—and the whole thing topples over.

      * * *

      That Sunday morning, I decide to treat everyone to a batch of homemade muffins for breakfast. I like making them with Greek yogurt, but all we have on hand is sour cream, so I just use that. Once the muffin base is ready, I decide on adding apples to the centers and streusel to the tops of each. They’re in the oven when I see Dad come down and head outside for a morning run. He hasn’t mentioned the trip up to Burlington since the other day—fortunately. I really don’t want to have to go tour the school and do all that. I’m still planning to fill out the application. Mostly to keep him satisfied and because filling it out doesn’t seem all that difficult. Just one application, to the state school—a few essays and I’m done. Of course, I still need to figure out what I’m really going to do. I can’t just stay in town dating Luke and working at Étoile my whole life.