“So what do you think of UMaine? Is it everything you expected?”
I shrugged.
“It’s college. Pretty much like any other.”
“Still. Everything going okay?”
She was fishing and not doing a very good job of it.
“Renee tell you to talk to me?” I grabbed the remote and turned on the massive television, flipping around until I found something decent. And by decent I meant a marathon of Behind the Music on VH1.
“If I say no, you’ll know that I’m lying, so yes. She’s just worried about you.”
“Well, she’s got lots of company in that department.”
“I know things are kind of crazy for you right now, but I swear, they will get better. And lashing out feels good when you do it, but living with the consequences kind of sucks. I should know. I punched Hunter when I first met him. He’s got a hell of a hard face.” Renee hadn’t told me that story.
“You did?”
She smiled as if it was a fond memory and shook her head.
“Yeah. He kind of cornered me, and I have a bit of a claustrophobia issue. To be fair, he totally deserved it.” I could imagine him provoking her. It seemed to be one of his favorite things to do.
“I bet he did. How did you go from that to...being disgustingly in love?”
She laughed.
“He’s persistent. And has a high tolerance for me being mean and shoving him away.”
“Huh.” Sounded familiar.
She kicked out the footrest on the recliner and squinted at me, as if she was deciding something.
“I was nearly raped, when I was younger. It was my sister’s older boyfriend, Travis, and he tried to rape her, too. She got over it and I never did. Hunter was the first guy that I let touch me. There was something about him that made me feel safe in a way I’d never felt safe before. I trusted him, even when I told myself not to. I let him in before I even knew that’s what I was doing. Sometimes you meet people like that. By the time you realize you’ve let them into your life, it’s too late, and usually by that point you can’t see life without them.”
I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I found myself twisting the elephant charm on my bracelet. Yeah, I knew what she was talking about. But sometimes, those people get taken from you, and there’s nothing you can do to get them back.
Even if she and Hunter broke up—which I couldn’t see happening—he was still alive. She could wake up every morning and know that, even if she didn’t see him, he existed in the world somewhere.
“So yeah, that’s my story, the abridged version, and now things are...really good.” Yeah, I could see that. She stared down at her ring and twisted it on her finger.
“Has anyone even stopped to think that I wasn’t okay before, and I am now? Just because I looked like I was keeping things together and was this perfect person doesn’t mean I was doing okay. Maybe that was my master plan, to make everyone think that.” Taylor thought about that for a second.
“Like reverse psychology? Wow, you are smart. I wish I would have thought of that instead of just being a bitch to everyone. That probably would have worked a lot better than violence.” Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and Mase emerged from the basement, his face with a sheen of sweat on it and his arms busting from the thin tank top he was wearing.
“What are you doing down there? If I didn’t know that Darah was at work, I’d swear you guys were going at it,” Taylor said.
Mase smiled and went to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
“Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither were these arms.” He flexed and his arms bulged. They were, like, the size of my neck. “Gotta do some maintenance to keep them nice for Dare.”
“One of those crazy workout videos again?” Taylor said, pretending to punch him. He collapsed, pretending she’d wounded him.
“You’re welcome to join anytime.”
“Yeah, I’d rather not. Kickboxing all the way.” He gulped down some water and wiped his face on her sleeve.
“Ugh! You are disgusting!” She screamed and he chased her around the living room as the door opened.
“Someone want to explain?” Hunter said, setting his bag down and watching as Mase growled at Taylor and she dived behind the recliner. “Dude, you are my family, but if you’re going after my girl, I will have to pound your ass,” Hunter said, but he wasn’t serious.
“Aren’t you coming to rescue me? Isn’t that your job?” Taylor squealed as Mase dragged her out and tried to put her head under his sweaty armpit.
“Oh, no, baby, you’re on your own. It’s all you, Miss. I’m just enjoying the view.”
“Douche bag!” She managed to pinch Mase’s side and wiggle out from under his arm and rush toward Hunter.
“See if I do anything nice for you anytime soon.” It didn’t take a genius to figure out she was talking about sexual favors. Disgusting.
“How was your day, Little Ne?” Mase moved my feet and sat down next to me. I hoped he wasn’t going to wipe his sweat on me. Not that it would be any different than being at home with my siblings who often used my jeans and shirts as tissues.
“Same as yesterday. It will probably be the same tomorrow.”
“Wow, don’t sound so depressed. Most people your age would love to be living in this house. I mean, what more could you want?” He gestured to the beautifully furnished house.
Freedom to do what I wanted. Freedom from being watched and criticized. But Mase wouldn’t understand that.
“Nothing, I guess. You can ignore my bitching if you want,” I said.
“Please tell me you won’t sync your period with the rest of the ladies in the house. It’s bad enough, and now the guys are outnumbered,” Mase said.
“I’ll give it a shot, but no promises.” He held his fist out and I bumped it with mine and then we exploded at the same time and I couldn’t help but laugh. Hunter sat down on the recliner and Taylor sat in his lap.
“So, I’ve got a performance this weekend. You guys in?” he said.
Mase nodded. I was missing something.
“Performance?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m in this a cappella group, the Steiners. God, that still sounds lame when I say it out loud. I was sort of forced to join after someone saw a poster for auditions,” Hunter said, staring at Taylor.
“I’m someone,” Taylor said, raising her hand. “And you should come. It’s actually really cool. Dusty’s in it, too. He’s their beat boxer.”
I wasn’t even surprised. Dusty Sharp was destined to show up in my life. I might as well accept it.
“We might even do a certain song that I think you’d like. I can put in a request,” Hunter said.
“Sure, why not? It’s not like I have anything better to do.” I needed to get a job soon, but I hadn’t talked to Renee about it yet. The plan was to find something, get myself hired and then tell her about it later so she couldn’t say anything about it.
My first inclination, when I found out that there was a Bull Moose close to campus, was to try there, but now that I knew Dusty was there, that was out. I just wanted to do something that wouldn’t suck, but the chances of that happening were pretty slim. Still, I’d have to start looking. Maybe Hannah would have some ideas.