“I would’ve thought ’e’d cry out,” griped a gray-haired fellow with missing front teeth. “Disappointin’ that ’e didn’t. Not nearly so festive when they’re quiet.”
A smaller man with a jutting jaw and slim nose that brought to mind a rat laughed gleefully. “I ’eard ’e was somethin’ special, that one. Knew ’e’d be tough right to the end.”
“Not sure we should ’ave to pay,” joined the third member of the group, by far the youngest, clutching his coin with dirty fingers. “He had a bag over ’is ’ead. Maybe ’e was gagged or had ’is tongue yanked out.” He opened his mouth to charmingly illustrate this approach, and my gut lurched. “Don’ seem right to pay without knowin’ the details.”
“You’ll pay a’right,” the rat-like fellow threatened, giving the dissenter a shove. “Thems the risks ya run.”
Besieged by nausea, I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the gruesome exchange of blood money in which they were engaged. But I couldn’t shut out their commentary.
“You lost, too, ya know,” the gray-haired man rejoined. “Them wings, them valuable wings, went with ’im over the edge.”
“That’s right.” The youngest member of the trio had perked up, perhaps realizing he might get to keep some of his valuables. “You bet they’d slice ’em off. But I told ya the Gov’na likes them Fae. Wouldn’t butcher one for sport.”
I stiffened and my eyes flew open, a spasm of symbiotic pain afflicting the muscles of my upper back. The rat-like fellow frowned, then rubbed his grizzled chin.
“Maybe we could find ’em. You know, search in the gorge.”
The other men stared, at last silent, though this blessing was short-lived.
“And ’ow we goin’ to do that?” demanded the gray-haired member of the trio.
“I ’eard tell of a secret entrance.”
“Be off with ya, then. But I ain’t goin’ lookin’ for trouble. Don’ care to end up in the ’ands of the Scarlets meself.”
Unable to tolerate more, I bolted from my hidden position, barreling out of the alley and down the street, running until I was too winded to go farther. My head was pounding, my side aching, and when I looked at my cloak, I could see smears of blood.
Stumbling to the side of a building, I dropped my pack at my feet and searched through it again, this time dredging up an herbal salve. Clutching the small pouch, I washed away some of the blood on my face with water from a puddle, then caked on the thick substance. Once more pressing a cloth against it, I yanked free the sash that belted my tunic and tied it over the makeshift bandage and around my head. I closed my eyes and leaned against the building—perhaps if I stayed still for a bit, the bleeding would end and my nerves would calm.
I didn’t want to think, didn’t want to feel, and yet I couldn’t prevent my mind from conjuring images of my once-vibrant cousin. Zabriel the daring, downing the mug of Sale that had been spitefully held out to him by Enerris, Illumina’s father, even though it might have killed him for his lack of an elemental connection; Zabriel the charismatic, entertaining one and all at parties in the Great Redwood, for he needed no magic to draw people to him; Zabriel the kind and caring, folding me into his arms after the death of my mother, and spending time with my shy friend, Ione, who would otherwise have adored him from afar; Zabriel the rebel, crossing the Bloody Road to enter the human territory in direct defiance of his mother’s wishes. But even though he had fled his life in Chrior, tired of the whispered speculations about whether a half-human with wings but no elemental connection should be allowed to ascend to the throne, Zabriel had never forgotten his people. He had known more than I about what was going on at Evernook Island, about the plotting against our people engaged in by Fae-hating humans. And he had been equally appalled at the discovery of the ghastly experiments on abducted Fae and imprisoned humans that were being conducted on that Nature-forsaken chunk of rock—atrocities that might never come to light now that his life had been taken. He was the bold one, the clever one, a true man of action. Without his leadership, how could anything be set right?
I came to my feet and grabbed my pack, feeling as though a stake had been driven into my chest. The burning ache that resulted was almost unbearable, and I wanted to reach through my rib cage and tear it away. Only this was an injury for which there was no treatment, no cure. Nor did there seem to be a way to shut off my brain, prevent it from reminding me of my mistakes and misjudgments, and from conjuring memories better buried and forgotten.
I glanced about, trying to get my bearings. What I needed, what I craved, was calm, the kind of stillness I’d once found with water, my element. I needed that connection to Nature, the security that existed in knowing there was a harmonizing force guiding all things. I was tired of this human city where the poor tended to be forgotten and reviled; where the constant drone of water created a sensation of drowning; where the vibration of the crashing river coursed through the streets and set me off balance; where the buildings rose tall, as claustrophobia-inducing as the clouds of smoke and pollution humanity fostered; and where my life had spun out of control. I was Fae and didn’t belong here; I was Fae and it wasn’t fair I had nowhere else to go.
My eyes fell on a building on the other side of the road that seemed to rise up out of nowhere. Without conscious direction, my feet had taken me to a familiar place, one to which I never thought I’d return, and one that I should not enter now. But a voice inside my head, a voice that belonged to the damaged part of me, whispered sweetly: What does it matter now? You’ve failed at every task appointed to you—there’s no hope for your salvation. But there might be hope for a temporary reprieve.
Without hesitation, I crossed the street and pushed my way through the front door of the shady establishment.
FRAT
I’d been in The River’s End pub twice before, and both times had run into Officer Tom Matlock. I glanced around, then pulled up my hood, for he was the one person who might identify me despite the change in my hair color. My heart fluttered, the thought of him stirring a yearning inside me, but I was afraid if I again put him in the position of choosing between me and his duty, the nineteen-year-old Constabulary would make a different decision. Still, I desperately wanted to feel the comfort of his arms, wanted to let him ease my grief and assure me everything would magically be all right.
I took a deep breath, inhaling the smells of alcohol and sweat, along with something deeper, sweeter, and more intoxicating. My gaze snapped to a closed door tucked into a vestibule behind the bar. The thick clouds of poison sifting through the cracks in the door frame were the source of this pub’s unusual aroma and, in truth, most of its business. I had once previously gone through that barrier and down into the cellar it guarded—Tom had brought me here during the search for my friend Evangeline, my friend who was now dead by her own hand, unable to live with the abuse inflicted on her by Fae-haters. By the very people my cousins and I had come so close to exposing on Evernook that terrible night.
I made my way through the pub’s patrons, stopping when I came abreast of the bar, common sense dictating I should go no farther.
“What’ll you have?” the bartender growled.
“Ale!” I shouted to be heard above the hubbub, having learned a little about what humans drank. He filled a mug, and I slapped a coin on the counter in exchange for it.
I took a sip, my lip curling in distaste. Ale could offer some relief—assuming I could consume enough—but it wasn’t really the type of relief I wanted. I didn’t just want to forget. I wanted to remember. I wanted to fly again, to once more be Fae, to feel Fae. If what I’d heard about the Green was true, it might be the one thing that could make me feel whole again.
Heart pounding, I left my mug on the counter and walked toward the door behind the bar, only to discover the vestibule had