The
Clumsies
make a mess
of the
Seaside
Illustrated by
Nicola Slater
HarperCollins Children’s Books
For David (BWFR!)
Contents
It was a Tuesday morning and the Clumsies were sitting around in Howard’s office eating breakfast.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ said Purvis, sipping his tea.
‘Mmm,’ said Mickey Thompson, with a mouth full of toast.
‘Could I have some more toast?’
Purvis put some bread in the toaster.
‘I said I’ve been thinking.’
‘Could I have some more juice?’ asked Mickey Thompson.
Purvis passed him the juice.
‘I said I’ve been…’
‘Could I have… um… an enormous cake?’ asked Mickey Thompson. ‘And a badger.’
There was a small scuffle.
‘Go on then,’ said Mickey Thompson, once they’d finished.
‘Tell us what you’ve been thinking.’
Purvis poured himself another cup of tea.
‘Well,’ he said. ‘I’m worried about Howard.’
‘Why?’ asked Mickey
Thompson, buttering cheerfully.
‘He’s working too hard,’ said Purvis, ‘and he seems to be in a bit of a…’
‘Mood,’ said Mickey Thompson.
‘No,’ said Purvis, ‘in a bit of a…’
‘Mess,’ said Mickey Thompson.
‘Err…’ said Purvis, ‘in a bit of a—’
Suddenly the door Crashed open and Howard rushed in, ran around in a circle and rushed out again.
‘Rush?’ said Mickey Thompson.
‘Exactly,’ said Purvis. ‘He needs a holiday. I’ve been doing loads of research: here!’
He cleared a space and plunked down an old-looking book titled The Wise Traveller; a young-looking book called Flossy Has Fun at the Sea; a brochure headed European River Cruising; and a leaflet advertising Undiscovered Essex.
Mickey Thompson picked up the brochure and studied it.
‘Doesn’t it look lovely?’ said Purvis, ‘I—’
The door crashed open again and Howard rushed back in.
‘QUICK!’ Howard shouted, opening cupboards and drawers.
‘NO!’
‘Sausage?’ offered Purvis.
‘NO!’ shouted Howard, shutting drawers and cupboards.
‘I haven’t got time for breakfast.’
Ortrud the elephant TRUMPETED in alarm.
‘No time for breakfast?’ said Mickey Thompson, sounding shocked.
‘I’M LATE!’ shouted Howard, running about.
‘But Howard,’ said Purvis.
‘You’re the same time as you usually are.’
Howard stopped running.
‘I know, but today I needed to be early. The trouble is, I can’t remember why.’
He sat down with a sigh and the Clumsies dived under the desk.
‘WHAT?’ shouted Howard, leaping up.
‘There’s someone coming,’ whispered Purvis. The door crashed open and in came Mr Bullerton, Howard’s boss.
‘You! Howard Armitage!’ barked Mr Bullerton. ‘You’re late. Where’ve you been?’
‘Err, I—’ began Howard.
‘Be quiet,’ snapped Mr Bullerton.
‘Sorry, I—’
‘And stop interrupting,’ said Mr Bullerton. ‘Are you ready?’
‘Well—’ said Howard.
‘You don’t look anywhere near ready,’ said Mr Bullerton. ‘It starts at one you know. We must catch the eleven o’clock train or we won’t get there on time.’
‘There?’ asked Howard.
Mr Bullerton stared at Howard.
‘You can’t have forgotten. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.’
‘No,’ said Howard.
‘You have, haven’t you?’
‘Yes,’ said Howard.
Mr Bullerton went very red and stuck his face very close to Howard’s ear.
‘CONFERENCE!’