“What do you want to know?” She took a chicken leg from the platter and pulled a morsel free to taste.
There was so much attention spent on one small bit of food, he realized this was part of Faith’s makeup. She paid close attention to detail in everything. The picnic in the solarium was a great example, and she had done that for him. A spark of delight ignited inside him. “How did you gain the title of Wallflowers?”
She sighed. “Mary Yates.”
“What does Miss Yates have to do with it?”
Chewing another bite of chicken, she stared out the wall of windows. The view was full white from the snow covering the garden outside, and the flowers within paled in comparison to the reflecting sun. “Mary Yates was a year ahead of us at the Wormbattle School. She had gathered her friends long before Poppy, Aurora, Mercy, and I ever arrived. They were a vicious pack of girls, embittered by their parents’ choice to send them away. I can’t really blame them for that. It turned out to be the best thing for me, but it hurt when Father announced he’d had enough of me and was sending me away.”
“I can only imagine. Of course, I was sent to Eton, but it is expected for my sex to go away to school, and I went home during breaks.” He wanted to reach out and comfort her old hurt, but it wasn’t his place, and he didn’t want her to stop her story.
“We never had breaks. It was a three-year sentence from the start. Mary resented her situation and seemed determined to make everyone around her suffer her unhappiness. She decided the four of us were the perfect targets since we had just arrived and become such fast friends.
“On occasion Miss Agatha, the headmistress, would arrange a ball with a nearby boys’ school, St. Simon’s. These balls were hugely anticipated and meant to be both educational and amusing. As soon as the young men arrived, Mary made her rounds, telling everyone that we were bores and they should keep their distance. There were some other cutting remarks, but I’ll keep those to myself. Mary has her flaws, but she also has her own set of problems as an adult.”
He marveled at how kind she was, even to a woman who did not return that kindness. Mary appeared spoiled and intolerant. Even her beauty had not persuaded Nick to like her.
Faith continued. “As a result, not one boy asked any of us to dance. After the ball, Mary called us Wallflowers.”
“I thought you all were fond of the title.”
Smiling, Faith was a bright star among the flowers. She shone brighter and with more beauty. “We love it. Even as girls we thought it a fine moniker. We didn’t care about balls and silly young men. By the next ball, we were all asked to dance and even had a few proposals before we left school. Of course, none of us took those offers seriously.
“When Aurora married and we began meeting for Tuesday tea at her home on West Lane, we added the address to our name.”
It was a show of strength and resilience to turn a hateful moniker into something grand that had held these women together through trial and tribulation. He couldn’t help but respect them. “Tell me one thing you admire in each of your friends. Surely that cannot be considered gossip.”
A wisp of a smile tugged at her kissable lips. “I will make you an offer, Nick. I will answer your query about my friends and perhaps something about myself, if you will tell me about the woman you may have done harm to.”
Suddenly Nick couldn’t breathe. “What woman?”
“The one who made you hesitate when you said that you would never strike a woman. I surmise that in certain cases you would harm a member of my sex, and I would like to know precisely what those circumstances are. I realize it is not in your nature to tell anyone anything, but we are alone here. I will not repeat anything you confide to me.” She raised one brow and used the corner of her napkin to dab at her lips.
Lord, he longed to kiss those lips until she was too breathless to ask him any more questions and no longer cared about his past. She was right about his nature, but if this was the woman he wanted, he would have to trust her. The notion made him sick to his stomach.
Chapter 6
Faith had played her hand. It was a risk. She didn’t know if he wanted her secrets enough to share his own, and she was certain that hers could not compare to whatever he would tell, but she needed to know something before she fell completely in love with him. The danger of that was quite real.
Putting down his bread, he stared at the plate for a long time. “You may regret knowing such things, Faith. I told you that I am not proud of many things I have done.”
“I feel you must let me be the judge of that.” Her pulse pounded, but she refused to remain silent and risk hating him for his deeds sometime in the future. It was better to know now than regret later.
“MacGruder said much the same thing.” He chuckled and gazed up from the table. “Can you promise me that what I tell you will remain between us?”
A swarm of butterflies warred in her belly, but she had to know. “I will keep your confidence.”
Cloud cover had rolled in since they’d been eating, and a light snow made a tink tink on the sloped glass roof. It wasn’t the storm of the day before, but gave the hothouse a more private feel and deadened any noise from outside.
“This is not a pretty story.” He took a deep breath, nibbled a bit of meat to stall for time, and met her gaze. “As you have cleverly surmised, I worked for the interests of the Crown while traveling abroad. My journey took me to many places and even back here to England several times over the past five years.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and stared out the steamed windows at nothing. “I landed for a time in Vienna. It is a lively town and already possessed by Napoleon by then. I had been in service for a year and thought myself worldly. Unfortunately, I met a woman more worldly than I.”
When it appeared he would not go on, Faith asked, “What was her name?”
“Léonie.” He breathed it out more than said it. “She was perhaps two or three years older than I, and extremely beautiful. There was a wisdom about her that attracted me as no woman ever had. Of course, I knew I could never marry such a woman, without family or title, but when I told her this, she didn’t care.”
He laughed. “I thought myself to have found the perfect mistress. We were far from home, where my father could disapprove or my mother would ever hear gossip. Léonie didn’t care about marrying a man with a title, and I was infatuated, with the enthusiasm of youth.”
Faith wanted to be so sophisticated that she wasn’t bothered by Nick’s past exploits. She tried to eat some of the lovely meal before them, but her appetite was gone. The thought of him liking or perhaps loving this Léonie stirred jealousy, an emotion she’d never before experienced.
Nick reached across the table and took her hand. “Shall I stop, Faith? You asked for this story, but if you are not comfortable with the telling, I shall desist.”
Forcing a smile, she said, “I’m fine. Please, go on.”
With a final squeeze, he released her fingers. “Léonie and I were inseparable for many months. It was perfect. Until one day I saw her on the street with a man who looked suspiciously like a French spy I’d been sent to watch. When I confronted her, she became incensed and went into a rage in her native tongue. It was a year later, when I’d mastered the language, that I finally understood the vulgarity she’d spewed that day.
“In my ignorance and desire, I allowed that it was not the same man. We separated for a few days and when we came back together it was filled with forgiveness and passion.”
Stomach in a knot, Faith was sorry she’d asked, but she didn’t want him to stop. She had