Once you get to the peak of fitness and strength, it’s your duty to maintain it. But don’t maintain it with moans and groans; do it with pride and respect! You have to enjoy what you do, otherwise why do it? We can all be fat, lazy bastards, it’s our choice! I’m sick of hearing and reading about excuses: if you stuff your face with shit, you become shit – that’s logical to me! Eat and drink in moderation, but if you’re like me you can eat what you like in moderation, how much you like and turn it into power, muscle and energy. In my book, there’s no excuse, unless it’s a serious medical problem you’ve got. And then that’s just bad luck; it can’t be helped.
I can’t really help or advise on a medical problem as I’m not qualified. I can only say, ‘Try.’ If you’re crippled and can’t use your legs, then use your arms instead; find a way. If I lost my arms and legs, I’d learn to use my teeth. I do feel for cripples, I really do. Hey, I’ve seen some of these guys and girls in sports and they are wicked! Have you seen them in the wheelchairs racing around, doing marathons? With one of them chairs you wouldn’t need a getaway car! They put a lot of able-bodied people to shame, that I love to see! Respect!
A lady friend of mine is paralysed from the mid-section down but she recently did a sky dive! Magic or what?
PICK UP YOUR EQUIPMENT AND THROW IT AWAY
My fitness programme is unique as I do it alone and I don’t use equipment – I’m not allowed to. I’m in solitary confinement, locked up in a room 12 x 8ft. This is my life! I could make excuses, I could say, ‘Err, not today.’ I’ve no gym, I’ve no equipment, I’ve nobody to push me, I’ve got no PT kit, etc., but I don’t live by excuses. I do what I do best: stay alive and survive, and if I can do it in my barbaric conditions why can’t you do it out there? You just don’t have an excuse! You can do it in a park or in your garden (if you’re the shy type you can do it in your bedroom). Let me tell you now, you don’t need a gym, or weights; you don’t need pills or steroids or high-protein drinks. Just how much money in a year do you throw away at your health farms and leisure centres? Add it all up!
Can’t you see that they’re all laughing at you? You’re paying good money for people to say, ‘Oh, you’re a bit fat, do this,’ ‘Do it this way’ and ‘Don’t eat that, eat this.’ You’re like a naughty school kid, your teachers are laughing at you! Well, it’s time I blew a big hole in the fitness world, it’s time you got the TRUE FACTS from a man who’s proven his way works, and shall I tell you what it costs? Next to nothing! I’m not out to rip you off or laugh at you; I’m here to prove once and for all that fitness is all in your head.
BRAINWASHED OR NOT, I’LL GET YOU THROUGH IT!
You’re brainwashed by TV showing films of unreal people, muscle mags with images of muscle-laden wooden edifices, magazines full of waifs, or you see a supermodel who’s anorexic and suddenly you’re the one who’s fat and out of shape. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen a lot of good fitness mags out there … but not the ones showing steroid freaks on the front covers! Look at people like Steve Redgrave, that rower geezer … he’ll live forever, while you muscle freaks will die from a broken heart, literally!
There’s also too much emphasis on kids to look good in their branded sportswear, but how many actually do sports? Parents are partly to blame for how their kids develop eating disorders. I mean, it’s only in recent times that anorexia and bulimia became so widespread. Look at Ian Brady … he’d been on hunger strike for who knows how long, they fed him through a tube and yet the evil bastard still lived on! There are newspapers with adverts telling you that to live longer you need to take this new and expensive supplement. Remember the big rip-off when adverts were promoting an evil-tasting tea that supposedly made you slim? It was supposed to make you skinny as a rake, ha, ha … Who were the silly people buying this muck, eh?
You see a photo of big Arnie and you’re like a programmed zombie, you aim for it. Ninety per cent of you will never become that way as your body structure, gene make-up and bone design will not allow it, but why want to be like him? Why not be fit, fast and very alert? Why not live a better life, breathe better and easier, and feel good? To feel good, you need to look good
FAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY SMELL: THEY FART A LOT
Fat people actually smell: they fart a lot, they’re unhealthy and they’re sluggish. Look, I’m not gonna mess with you, fat people have got to want to change. If you’re one of them, start making that change right now … not tomorrow! Go to your food cupboard and fridge. Be brave, throw all what you know is useless in the bin or give it to a poor neighbour who ain’t got the likes of what you’re about to chuck out. You’ve probably got enough fat on your body to keep you alive for a month!
If you’re fat, then it’s a fact, I’m not gonna pretend. You’re sluggish, you’re lazy and you’re a joke! In the same way as the muscle-bound Arnies of this world have strained and bad hearts, you’re just as unnatural and your heart is strained to the limit, especially like the steroid freak. The fat on your gut is actually pulling at your heart and straining it. Get real – face up to life! It’s the 21st century and what a way to start the Bronco workouts! Give my workout a try for one month. I know it will work for you, but I say this to you, don’t even start if you don’t believe in it. All I ask of you is that you enjoy it, so start now. Eat up your porridge! Hell, I’ve eaten more than the Three Bears! But, before you start, I want you to decide on something: do you really want to complete this exercise regime? If you want to change your life I would ask you to make a commitment to yourself, a big commitment.
No doubt you’ve flicked through this book while standing in the bookshop. You’ve probably thought to yourself that it’s full of crap, but you still bought it … Why? I’ll tell you why … coz if you hadn’t bought this book then you’d be in the queue waiting to buy some of that evil herbal tea. Yuck! At least you don’t have to eat this book.
SO, WAS IT WORTH BUYING?
You’ve probably stood there debating whether the price of this book was worth it and toying with the idea of buying it. Well, now you have so you’ve either got to go through with it or you might as well just send some money to Zoë’s Place Baby Hospice in West Derby, Liverpool, England. Rest your lazy arse coz going to the bookshop was the most exercise you’re gonna get for a long while! You’ve probably got a bedroom with an exercise bike that’s being used as an extra clothes hanger with clothes on it that are too small for you because you’ve become fat and lazy. Well, now is the time to get your arse into gear, so come on!
If you’re convinced you can see it through then I promise to make a new you, a more confident you, a sharper-minded you and fill you with a new spring in your step. How many times have you promised yourself a new you? You’ve tried all them horrible liquid meals, you’ve been kicked out of diet clubs for breaking the scales and you’ve been kicked out of aerobics class coz you were starting to make dents in the new shiny wooden floor. Or maybe you haven’t got the confidence to join a gym, so now’s your chance to go it alone. This is gonna be your fitness Bible, the biggest thing in your life, as big as the rebirth of Jesus! But this book is not a floor show for you to ogle: it’s 40 years of a world of fitness, 30 years of perfection, even the diet will prove what I say. Believe in it, don’t doubt it, you have to have faith in yourself too.
I’ve spent some time in this chapter giving you the confidence to get it done and now I want you to apply some effort in getting up and finding a pen, coz you’re gonna need one in a minute … So, what are you waiting for? Go find one. For some of you, this next stage is gonna be the toughest thing you’ve ever done in your life, but if you can do what I’m going to ask then I can guarantee that the rest of what’s in this book will be like a stroll in the park. I’m going to tell you something that will amaze you. About 25 years ago, a project was carried out in America. A group of young men were put through their paces and brought to the peak of physical condition, and then they were told to do nothing in