Still let me guard the holy fire,
And still stir up thy gift in me.
1 Book of Prayers, compiled by Robert Van de Weyer (New York: HarperCollins, 1993), 88.
For a Christian in old age
only one thing can be at the
core of life—prayer.
—Romano Guardini
DISCERNING GOD’S CALL AT RETIREMENT
Not that I have already obtained this, or have already reached the goal.... But this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.
—Philippians 3:12–14
AT RETIREMENT
You love me, eternal God, when I leave the world of work and lose the identity I acquired through years of labor. Keep me sensitive to your will for me now. Remind me of Abraham and Sarah, Anna and Simeon, to whom your call came later in life. Give me grace to enjoy my new freedom, to cherish my leisure time, and to care for others. Above all, help me not to rush about, or rust out, but to rest in you. Amen.
FOR COURAGE AND GRATITUDE
Lord God of Israel, how much I admire Caleb. At eighty-five he was not content to settle down to an easy life in Canaan or to be put out to pasture, but was ready to fight for the land promised him. I need his spirit in these early days of retirement, when all I think about are my entitlements and benefits. Help me to realize that even as I accept these gifts I have earned, I owe much to your grace, which is unearned. Amen.
FOR DISCERNMENT
Grant me, O Lord, to know what is worth knowing,
to love what is worth loving,
to praise what delights you most,
to value what is precious in your sight,
to hate what is offensive to you.
Do not let me judge by what I see,
nor pass sentence according to what I hear,
but to judge rightly between things that differ,
and above all to search out and to do what pleases you, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
—Thomas à Kempis, 1380–1471
THOSE EARLY DAYS
Surprising God, I need my second wind in these retirement years. Athletes seem to get it when they have spent themselves. After expending all their energies, just when it seems they have run out of gas, they get that new burst of energy. Well, Lord, I admit I am worn out. The years have taken their toll. I need to press on for your high calling in these retirement years, but I need that second wind of your spirit to carry me beyond my fatigue. Amen.
THERE IS STILL WONDER
Ancient of Days, even this new freedom is too short for me to appreciate all the wonders of your world. I now have more time for reflection and contemplation. Grant me a holy curiosity about life. Help me never to feel that life is over and all that is left is a rocking chair on the porch. Give me grace to explore new scenes, revisit old memories. Show me each day the miracle of the moment, and direct my footsteps to quiet libraries, still waters, and the laughter of children. Amen.
WHEN THE HONEYMOON ENDS
Dear Lord, the first exciting days of retirement are gone, and now the reality has hit home. It was nice to do nothing for awhile. It felt like playing hooky from school. I laughed when they handcuffed me at my retirement party and gave me the keys. What doors do they open? Or do they keep me locked to the past? I know my life is not over. But the honeymoon has ended. I long to know what is next in this puzzling journey. Help me to trust when I cannot see. Amen.
AMPLIUS
(A Poem That Becomes a Prayer)
I must make my way to the mountains, and find a path to the sea,
let the far and silent places become a part of me,
for my world has grown so small, that there is no room at all
for my spirit twisting, turning to be free.
I must dwell awhile in the desert or walk beside a lake,
for something asleep within me is trying to come awake,
and my life has dwindled down to a single, little town
and my spirit is twisting, turning to be free.
I will go beyond horizon, trace a western star,
rest my eyes on a prairie reaching wide and far.
For this journey, I have no guide save what seems inside, where
my spirit is twisting, turning to be free.
I may come once more to freedom in this same familiar street,
break out of the bondage if I really meet
those who, knowing me, have eyes with which to see,
my spirit twisting, turning to be free.
—John David Burton
WHEN TIME STANDS STILL
Gracious God, for many weeks it was nice to wake up in the morning, laugh at the alarm clock, and set my own schedule. I had a leisurely breakfast, watched the birds at my feeder, and was just plain lazy. The day was like that. And at evening I sat on the deck and watched the sunset until the stars appeared. It was great. But now, months later, every day seems the same. I’m by myself a lot, and have simply run out of things to do. I’ve rearranged my scrapbooks, watched old reruns, and played with my computer. God, I’m tired of this free time. I had hoped that retirement would be different—exciting new adventures, travel. I guess I read too many ads in retirement magazines that promised the moon. Now reality has set in. I know I shouldn’t complain, but I can tell you how I feel. I promise not to whine or recline, but I need to do a lot of work on myself so I can hear your voice calling me to new directions. Amen.
BUSYNESS
God My Help Now, it seems so incongruous that I feel more rushed and pulled in different directions than I ever did before I retired. At times it feels good to be busy, when I swing into action and check off my daily “to do”list. I pride myself that I am not really retired. And yet being busy is not what you want for me. I need time to reflect, to be with you, to be with myself, to be with others. When my calendar is so clocked full of activities, I get out of whack. Teach me to be active, but not busy. Help me to balance quiet with service. May these years find me growing in grace, not just doing more things. Amen.
A BUSY, FRANTIC LIFE
How is it, my God, that you have given me this hectic, busy life when I have so little time to enjoy your presence? Throughout the day people are waiting to speak with me, and even at meals I have to continue talking to people about their needs and problems. During sleep itself I am still thinking and dreaming about the multitude of concerns that surround me. I do all this not for own sake, but for yours. To me my present pattern of life is a torment; I only hope that for you it is truly a sacrifice of love. I know that you are constantly beside me, yet I am usually so busy that I ignore you. If you want me to remain so busy, please force me to think about and love you even in the midst of such hectic activity. If you do not want me so busy, please release me from it, showing how others can take over my responsibilities.
—Teresa of Avila, 1515–82
A PRAYER FOR KAIROS