Vozhevatov. We’ll try hard, Sergey Sergeyich, we’ll try hard.
Paratov. My fiancée’s father is an important official. He’s a strict old man, and he can’t stand hearing about gypsies, carousals, and the like. He doesn’t even like it if somebody smokes a lot. What you’re supposed to do is put on your frockcoat and parlez français! That’s why I’m practicing now with Robinson. Only he, maybe for show, I don’t know, calls me “la Serge,” not simply “Serge.” He’s terribly funny!
Robinson appears on the steps of the coffee house, chewing something. Gavrilo is behind him.
Paratov (to Robinson). Que faites-vous là? Venez!
Robinson (with a distinguished air). Comment?
Paratov. What charm! What a tone, gentlemen! (To Robinson.) You give up that filthy habit of abandoning respectable society for the tavern.
Vozhevatov. Yes, they have a way of doing that.
Robinson. La Serge, you’ve managed to… There was no need to do that.
Paratov. Yes, forgive me, I gave away your pseudonym.
Vozhevatov. We won’t give you away, Robinson, you’ll pass among us as an Englishman, old man.
Robinson. Why this sudden familiarity? You and I haven’t drunk any fraternal pledge.
Vozhevatov. It doesn’t matter… Why stand on ceremony!
Robinson. But I don’t tolerate familiarity, and I won’t permit just anybody.
Vozhevatov. But I’m not just anybody.
Robinson. Then who are you?
Vozhevatov. A merchant.
Robinson. A rich one?
Vozhevatov. A rich one.
Robinson. And generous?
Vozhevatov. And generous.
Robinson. Now that’s something to my taste. (He extends his hand to Vozhevatov.) Very pleased to meet you. Now I can permit you to deal with me without formalities.
Vozhevatov. That means we’re friends, two bodies, one soul.
Robinson. And one pocket. What’s your first name and patronymic? I mean, your first name, the patronymic’s not necessary.
Vozhevatov. Vasily Danilych.
Robinson. Tell you what, Vasya, in honor of our first acquaintance you pay for me.
Vozhevatov. Gavrilo, write it down to my account. Sergey Sergeyich, we’re getting up a picnic for tonight on the other side of the Volga. In one boat there’ll be gypsies, and we’ll be in the other. When we get there we’ll sit down on a rug and heat up some hot punch.
Gavrilo. And I, Sergey Sergeyich, have two pineapples that have been waiting for you a long time. They should be broken into to celebrate your arrival.
Paratov (to Gavrilo). Fine, cut them up! (To Vozhevatov.) Gentlemen, I’m at your disposal, do what you want with me.
Gavrilo. And I, Vasily Danilych, will make all the necessary arrangements. I have a silver saucepan for such occasions, and I’ll let my help go off with you.
Vozhevatov. All right, very good. Have everything ready by six. If you should get in something extra, it won’t be held against you, but you’ll have to answer for any lack.
Gavrilo. We understand, sir.
Vozhevatov. And when we come back we’ll light up colored lanterns on the boats.
Robinson. I haven’t known him long, and already I’ve grown fond of him, gentlemen. There’s a miracle for you!
Paratov. The main thing is, there should be a good time. I’m saying goodbye to my bachelor life, so I want something to remember it by. And this evening, gentlemen, I invite you to have dinner with me.
Vozhevatov. What a pity! I’m afraid that’s impossible, Sergey Sergeyich.
Knurov. We’ve been invited elsewhere.
Paratov. Decline, gentlemen.
Vozhevatov. We can’t decline. Larisa Dmitriyevna is getting married, so we’re having dinner at her fiancé’s.
Paratov. Larisa is getting married! (He becomes pensive.) So then… God be with her! This is even better… I’m a bit guilty towards her, or rather, I’m so guilty I shouldn’t show my face to them. But now she’s getting married it means the old scores are settled, and I can show up and kiss her little hands, and aunty’s too. I call Kharita Ignatyevna aunty for short. You know, I almost married Larisa; that would have given people something to laugh at! Yes, I almost made a fool of myself. So she’s getting married. That’s very nice on her part; all the same I do feel a bit relieved… and may God grant her health and every blessing! I’ll drop in on them, I’ll drop in. It’ll be interesting, very interesting to have a look at her.
Vozhevatov. They’ll probably invite you.
Paratov. Of course, how could they do without me!
Knurov. I’m very glad. Now at least I’ll have somebody at dinner to exchange a word with.
Vozhevatov. When we’re there we’ll talk over how we can pass time to have more fun. Maybe we can think up something else.
Paratov. Yes, gentlemen, life is short, that’s what the philosophers tell us, so we’ve got to know how to take advantage of it… N’est-ce pas, Robinson?
Robinson. Oui, la Serge.
Vozhevatov. We’ll try hard, you won’t be bored, we’ll stand on that. We’ll take a third boat, and we’ll put the regimental band on it.
Paratov. Good day, gentlemen! I’m going to the inn. Robinson, forward… march!
Robinson (lifting his hat).
Long live merriment!
Long live delight![3]
Act two
A room in the home of Mme Ogudalov. Two doors: an entrance door in the background, the other to the left of the actors. On the right is a window. The furniture is presentable. A piano with a guitar lying on it. Mme Ogudalov is alone. She is walking toward the door at the left with a small box in her hands.
Mme Ogudalov. Larisa, Larisa! (Larisa's voice off stage: "I'm getting dressed, Mama.”) Just see what a gift Vasya’s brought you! (Larisa off stage: "I'll look later.”) What things! They must be worth five hundred rubles. He told me, “Put them in her room tomorrow morning and don’t say who they’re from.” But he knows, the scamp, that I won’t be able to control myself, that I’ll tell. I asked him to stay awhile, but he wouldn’t stay. He’s going around with some foreigner, he’s showing him the town. But Vasya’s such a joker you can’t tell whether he’s thought up something or whether it’s the real thing. “What I’ve got to do,” he says, “is show this foreigner all the tavern institutions worthy of note.” He wanted to drag that foreigner along to visit us. (Looking out the window.) There comes Moky Parmenych! Don’t come out, it’s better for me to talk with him alone. (Knurov enters.)
Knurov (in the doorway).