Annie grabbed the bottle of bourbon and headed for the door. The two old friends walked aimlessly around the farm, stopping from time to time to sip from the bottle.
Charles, a frown building between his brows, watched the women as they walked toward the barn. He felt an itch settle itself between his shoulder blades. Then he shivered.
With the sun beating down on their heads and necks, Myra and Annie headed straight for the barn, where they walked the entire length of it, stroking the horses and speaking softly to them as they walked along. The barn cats clustered around their legs, purring loudly. Myra led the way to where Charles had left two bales of hay near the door. The women settled themselves.
“So, Annie dear, what part of your dissertation was true and which part was false?”
Annie laughed, but to Myra’s ears it sounded forced. “Sad to say, Myra, it’s all true.”
“Fish?”
“Fish is…I don’t know, something is off-key there. I care for him a great deal. No, let’s just say I more or less like him. He would like to get married, but I am not ready for marriage. I doubt I’ll ever be ready. I don’t know…I think…the second time around someone always gets cheated. I loved my husband heart and soul. I meant it when I said to death do us part. I know he meant it, too. I think he would be okay with Fish. I say think. I’m not sure if I know he would be okay. That…ah…one episode, I’m not sure if I regret it or it was just not for me, no one else. I was trying to prove something to myself. Whatever it was, it didn’t work. I’m still not sure about that tattoo episode, either. It’s all negative, Myra. That’s my life, a sack-ful of negatives. Except for Fish; he’s a negative with a little plus sign. I have to be honest, I think he’s getting fed up with me, and I know I’m getting fed up with him. I wasn’t like this on the mountain. On the mountain, my adrenaline pumped daily. I looked forward to getting up in the morning and never wanted to go to bed at night. I counted for something up there. We all did. It’s gone now, and, goddamn it, Myra, I want it back. Do you hear me, I want it back. And another thing. If you think that dog back at the house, and her pups, is your answer, then you are crazier than I am. We aren’t crazy, are we, Myra?” she asked fretfully.
Myra burst into tears. Annie followed suit.
“You never called, Annie. Maybe once a month.”
“Because I would have started to blubber the minute I heard your voice. You didn’t call, either. Why?”
“For the same reason. We have to get a life, Annie. It’s been a whole year and a half. Look at us. We haven’t moved forward one step. We’ve regressed. Even I know that is totally unacceptable. Do you see Lizzie much when she’s in Vegas?”
“No. She invited me to dinner one night, and I went. The baby was about two months old. She let me hold him. All I did was cry, so I left and never went back. He is a gorgeous little boy, Myra. How many times did you see him when she was here?”
“Twice. But he was asleep the second time. Lizzie and Cosmo have their own lives now. That’s the way it should be. I didn’t want to intrude. I didn’t go to the christening or the shower at the White House. I thought…well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I hope Lizzie understands.”
“Do the girls call you, Myra?”
“About like you did, Annie. Do you think they’re happy?”
Annie upended the bottle of bourbon, took a slug, and passed it on to Myra, who drank deeply. “I would think so. They have their lives, and they scattered to the four winds. I can’t believe they forgot about us so quickly. It hurts so damn bad, Annie, I want to cry.”
“You are crying, Myra. Are we saying our girls are ungrateful little shits?”
Myra pondered the question. “Yes, Annie, I think so. I tried to be fair in my heart. They have husbands and lovers who travel the globe with the girls at their sides. At this point, I am not even sure who is married and who isn’t other than Nikki and Yoko. Then there is the time difference in different parts of the globe. The worst part was when none of them came for Christmas. You didn’t come either, Annie. You all broke my heart that day. Charles and I worked so hard to make it all festive. We decorated and shopped and cooked till we were worn out, and the only guest on Christmas day was Elias. Nellie was recovering, so she couldn’t come. It was one of the worst days of my life.”
Annie sniffed and blew her nose. Then she sniffed again. “Did you know Yoko has had two miscarriages? I think it’s a rotten shame no one saw fit to tell us.”
“No, I didn’t know. How did you find out? That’s awful. Harry and Yoko would make wonderful parents. Where are they? Do you know?”
“Maggie told me last night when I stopped at the paper. They were in Israel. It’s that Jellicoe thing. Harry goes to train the troops or whatever. Maggie said she thinks they’re back at the dojo, but she isn’t sure. Said no one answers the phone. She thinks they came back because Yoko was so depressed about the miscarriages, and if she got pregnant again, she wanted it to be here in the States. Because Yoko said she wanted to have her baby in Washington. That’s all I know.”
“That has to mean they’re all in touch with Maggie but not us. What does that tell you, Annie? I don’t believe this!” Myra burst into tears again. This time she reached for the bottle and took a healthy gulp. Her throat burning, tears flowing down her cheeks, she said, “Yoko needs a mother figure in her life right now if all that is true. I think we both qualify for that role, Annie. This is unforgivable.”
“You’re right, it is unforgivable.”
The bottle changed hands again. “Where do you think Maggie stands, Annie?”
“I don’t have a clue. She seemed really happy to see me last night. And she didn’t get upset when I told her I was going to work at the paper. What could she say? I own the damn place. She’s been calling regularly to check in. She said she did her best to help you when all your friends shut you out. But something was off-key. I had the feeling something is wrong somewhere, and she’s trying to deal with it.”
“She did try to help. She really went out on a limb when she published what she called her personal scoop on all those charities. I adore Maggie.”
“Maggie feels as lost as you and I, and she doesn’t know what to do about it. We both cried a bit. Myra, do you think it’s even remotely possible that the girls were waiting for us to get in touch with them? Like they were taking their cues from us? We did moan and groan about those pardons and what we were going to do with our lives. Is it possible, Myra?”
Myra upended the bottle and gulped. “Anything is possible, I suppose. What do you think, Annie?”
“I would like to believe it. If it’s true that Harry and Yoko are back at the dojo, all we have to do is pop in and see what’s going on.”
“I’m seeing two of you, Annie.”
Annie laughed. “Ha! I can’t even see one of you!”
The cats circling the bales of hay purred as they did their best to rub up against the women’s legs.
“The bottle’s empty,” Annie said.
“So it is. When was the last time you slept in a barn, Annie?”
“When I was ten years old. I loved it. It made me feel so grown up at the time.”
“We’re all grown up now, Annie. And we’re old in the bargain.”
“Stop raining on our parade, Myra.”
“How long are you staying, Annie?”
“Until I get tired of causing trouble.”
“That long, huh?”
“Maybe longer.”
Myra laughed as she teetered toward an empty stall, Annie