She held his gaze for the longest time. “What I think is that I wish I could have this conversation as easily with them as I’m having it with you.”
He smiled. “I know they’re your parents, and nobody knows them better than you do. But if you want an outside friend’s opinion—”
“I think I already have it.” She smiled then. “And it’s appreciated. More than you know.”
“Anytime.”
Time spun out and neither of them moved. Or stopped smiling.
Maybe it was the late hour, maybe it was the sense of intimacy created by standing in the darkened shop, or the connection he felt they shared, lives being abruptly changed, or simply a childhood of separate but shared memories of growing up in the same town, surrounded by the same things, the same people. Whatever it was, he found himself shifting a step closer. She didn’t move away. And all he could think as he slowly dipped his head toward hers was: Why had it taken half of his life to finally work up the nerve to kiss Holly Bennett?
But just before his mouth could brush hers, she took a small step back. “Sean, I—thank you. For the food. I should probably—” She was looking anywhere but at him.
He touched her jaw, turned her face back to his. “It’s okay. I understand. Long day. I shouldn’t have complicated it further.”
She surprised him then, when her lips quirked a little, before she looked away again.
“What?” he prompted, ducking his head to catch her gaze again.
She paused, then took a breath and said, “There was a time when I’d have died and gone to heaven, just thinking there might have been a moment like…” She gestured between them.
It was such an unexpected comment, Sean didn’t immediately have a response. His body wasn’t nearly as slow on the uptake, however, and moved forward of its own volition. “Wait,” he said, reaching out, touching her arm. “What did you—what?”
He was close enough, even in the shadowed light, to see the color steal into her cheeks, but perhaps it was his own uncustomary clumsiness that gave her the where-withal to reply. “When we were teenagers, I…I guess you could say I had a crush on you.”
“No way.”
Now she laughed. “Are you kidding? Even you aren’t that humble. You know darn well you were the most popular guy in school. If it was female and had a pulse—”
“I’m not being disingenuous. But…you?”
Her eyes widened and she took a big step back. “Wow. Okay, so I know I was dorky and would never give a cheerleader a run for her money, but—”
Belatedly he realized how that had come out. “No, no, that’s not what I—Holly.” He closed the gap between them, then took the box from her hands and set it on the counter. “I watched you every day for…well, it felt like forever. You never looked like you’d give me the time of day. You were so poised, so sure of yourself, so…different from the other girls.”
She snorted. “Right. They could all get a date.”
He turned her face to his again. “Because teenage boys are idiots. Myself included. You have no idea how many times I wanted to say hello to you, but—”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Dead serious. And, you’re right, I didn’t have a problem getting dates, but most girls came on to me.”
“Poor popular guy, you,” she said dryly.
“What I’m trying to say is, you’re right, I didn’t have to work all that hard at getting the attention of the opposite sex. Except for you.”
“I have a hard time—an impossible one, actually—believing for one instant that you spent even a second of your time thinking about nerdy little Holly Bennett.”
“You weren’t a nerd. You were beautiful. Then, and now. Your hair was always so shiny and you had the prettiest brown eyes. You confused the hell out of me. You always looked so serious, and so…focused. Like you knew exactly where you were going.”
“Yeah, that was the horn-rim glasses. I was just as clueless as everyone else, trust me.”
“You certainly didn’t come off that way.”
“So, what, you’re saying you were too intimidated to approach me? It wasn’t like there was a crowd clamoring there. And even if there was, you’d have parted that sea with nothing more than a smile. You could have anyone you wanted. You can’t honestly want me to believe you didn’t think you had a chance with me.”
“I can, because it’s the truth. You have to realize, that—and I’m not complaining, but this is just fact—I was very popular, which meant a lot of people, my peers, teachers, coaches, my family, everyone looked up to me as some kind of icon or role model, and it was a lot of pressure, trying to live up to that. I knew what I was good at, but—”
“You were good at everything.”
“I was good at taking advantage of sure things. I knew I could play sports. I knew I’d get a yes if I asked out a girl who was all but throwing herself at me. I knew the teachers liked me and that if I showed interest in class, they’d reward me.” He tilted her face up to his. “What I didn’t know, and was too chicken to find out, was if the one person who seemed completely unaffected by me would return my interest…or turn me down flat.”
“So, was I just some kind of challenge, then? Get the one girl who isn’t chasing after me?”
“If it was just a game, or a contest, I wouldn’t have hesitated. I was a very competitive kid.”
“So…I don’t get it.”
“I didn’t want to risk the rejection. Not with you. It would have mattered.”
She held his gaze for a long moment. “You really mean that, don’t you?”
“Is it really that impossible to believe? But yes, I couldn’t be more serious. I watched you, wanted you, for a very long time. After school, or on weekends, when I was at the restaurant and you were working over here, I did try to catch your eye. Sort of gauge the interest.”
“You were always surrounded by a million friends, and your whole family—”
“So…you did notice?”
“I’d have to be dead not to notice you. And…yeah. I noticed that you’d be nice, wave, smile. But I thought that was just you being you. You were popular for a reason. People liked you because you were friendly, charming, outgoing. All the things I wasn’t. So…I watched from a distance. If you think your ego was all tied up in not being publicly humiliated, multiply that by, oh, a million, and maybe you could get what it would have taken for me to ever presume to try and get your attention.”
“You had it without even trying.” He chuckled then. “I can’t believe we spent that whole year—”
“Years,” Holly muttered, then looked away when he ducked his head to catch her eye.
“Years?”
“You’re talking about your senior year, when I was a sophomore. But I noticed you way before that. I mean, we more or less grew up across the street from one another.”
“Oh, I noticed you before then, too.”
A brief smile crossed her face, and maybe there was a little blush again. She didn’t say anything else, though.
“So…” he said at length, suddenly feeling every bit the nervous teenager he’d been. At least where Holly Bennett was concerned.
“So…”