My Trans Parent. Heather Bryant

expression shifted until his dad was “a very subtle woman—more like a house mother in a way.”

      When Amy’s parent wanted to go for a makeover together, Amy didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t something they’d done together in the past, and Amy had no interest or knowledge about make-up at all. “She asked for me to go with her to get a makeover and I said that I wasn’t comfortable with it because I don’t wear makeup—I don’t care about clothes, shoes, makeup—I’m not that person.” When Amy expressed her discomfort, her parent got emotional. “She cried, and I was just like, ‘I don’t know what to do.’” Amy didn’t want to share in the makeover, which came across to her parent as a kind of rejection or sense of discomfort with the change. A conversation later helped them both understand the other’s perspective.

      If you can, be open and talk about these changes. Of course, that might be easier said than done. It’s not always easy to open up about these things, and we might not even know exactly what we feel.