"Leave!"
"I can't! I can't leave you like that!" Berk walked around the room nervously. "You know I came to pick up my son but not only for that. This conversation… I talked to you thousands times in my thoughts. And when I came here today, when I saw you… Gods, Bert, I saw your hair cut!"
"I cut it off myself, I was drugged."
"Like I would believe you! It was Arel! Why didn't he let you talk downstairs, in the hall?"
"He himself talks to everyone who comes to the castle."
"And you kept silent, you obey him!"
"You're strange. He is my master."
"What if you answered me? What would he do?"
"How can I know? Ask him, not me! But I wouldn't answer you – when I am in the right mind, I obey him. I obey all his orders. Your brother is dead. I'm not him. I'm not even human!"
There was mute suffering in Berk's eyes.
"Squint-Eye," he whispered, "fucking Squint-Eye, stubborn and stupid. Murderer proud of his crimes, wearing his shame on his own face!"
"Yeah, tear it off! Tear it out to the meat!" Squint-Eye grabbed Berk's hand, yanked him closer. "Why don't you do it? Take if off me, you want that, don't you?"
"If only you wanted it!" Berk gripped Squint-Eye's head with both his hands, squeezed his temples, leaning closer to him.
Squint-Eye didn't move; he looked at his brother – boldly, challengingly. Berk's hair made in a long ponytail slid onto Squint-Eye's shoulder, mixing with his hair. Squint-Eye seemed to be looking at his reflection: at the reflection of a man he could be but didn't become. Then he raised his hand and took off the thread from one of the needles that held it. It fell revealing a stripe on his skin, thin and deep, left by it. Even if Squint-Eye never put the thread on again, the trace would stay all the same. Berk let him go quietly. With a habitual movement Squint-Eye tied the thread back, separating his face again in two uneven parts with a thin black line.
"I will be waiting in the estate. You need to make up your mind and leave here. I will make sure Orel will never find you."
"Berk, why don't you despise me like others? Why don't you leave me alone?"
"I did leave you once and what happened?!"
"You did the right thing!"
"No, I did what everyone did. What seemed proper. But I'm not everyone, I'm your elder brother, I taught you to hit back, I taught you to kill, I taught you bad!"
"Not at all. You taught me good."
"I don't believe that everything is lost, we can correct it, I'll help you! I don't know how but I swear I will! Whether you want it or not. I couldn't get you out of prison but I will get you out of this castle."
"I don't need it, Berk, please, don't try to oppose Arel!"
"I'm not afraid of your Arel, he's just a scarecrow! For fuck's sake, is there really royal blood in this man?"
"Shut up!"
"I just can't believe a scion of royalty can look such a shit, it's degeneration. I admit it, when I saw him so close and without a mask today, I was scared. What's happening to his face? I even felt a little sorry for him, the grey paint simply disfigured him."
"The paint corroded his face. Arel is ill exactly because he has 'royal blood' in him, as you say. It doesn't accept the paint, that's why the paint corrodes him so quickly. But it doesn't have to concern you."
"I didn't know that. It means the king's punishment was twice as cruel."
"You don't know many things, and the punishment doesn't matter, the thing is Arel can't stop himself," Squint-Eye said. "But it really has nothing to do with you."
"Who was the man with long blonde hair sitting next to him? His face was hidden behind a mask."
"Berk, get out!"
"I just want to help you!"
"Too late! If you don't want to get in trouble, leave now! And never, do you hear, never, come back here! I don't care about your belated repentance, I don't need your apologies. I don't need anything from you! I don't need you!"
"Bert!"
"Leave!"
"And if I don't? What will you do? Kill me? Will you kill you brother? Huh?"
"I don't have a brother!"
"I forgive you these words! It is not you who's saying them. My poor, poor little brother, fate was so cruel to you!"
There was a knock on the door and they heard Orel's voice.
"Hey, aren't you too noisy there?"
Prince Arel Chig himself appeared in the doorway.
"Have you sorted it out, Squint-Eye?"
"Sweet family arguments," Lis entered the room. "Arel, perhaps we shouldn't hinder them." He gave Berk a fake smile.
"I'd better leave now," Berk said; there was unconcealed hatred in his eyes when he looked at Orel. "But your time is running out, prince, and I'll take my brother away from you!"
"What? You want to take him? Then take! But when he has another fit and cut the throats of your entire family, don't beg me to take him back!"
Berk went pale and left the room quickly without saying another word.
* * *
"You have a nice brother," Lis said to Squint-Eye who sat in a kind of stupor. "I haven't ever met him before, he is great! Is he older than you?"
"Yes," Squint-Eye said lifelessly.
"But not for much, is he?"
"For seven years."
"Really? I would never say! He's a real Black warrior. Tall, handsome, confident. As long as there are such men, neither Red nor Unclean can defeat you."
"Enough," Orel said seeing Squint-Eye clench. He walked up to him and hugged him gently. "I love you very much, Squint-Eye. I have no better friend than you."
"Berk and Bert," Lis said. "Shit, it sounds good. You look alike and he loves you despite you being a disgrace of the family. And you? Do you love him, Squint-Eye?"
"He loves me," Orel said. "Bert loves me. And I won't let anyone have him. Never!"
* * *
Berk hugged his son again before leaving.
"I have to go now but we'll meet soon. Behave and study well."
The boy nodded.
"All right, dad, but will you come back to the city for good?"
"I won't but you'll graduate from the military school and stay here."
"But you lived here before! The house was burnt, I know, it's because of the uncle, but let's rebuild it and move here!"
"Haven't we agreed that you won't mention your uncle, or you can't stay here?"
The boy got frightened.
"All right."
"Fine. Well, I have to go."
"Dad! May I ask you – for the last time."
"Yes."
"Why did the uncle want to commit suicide?"
"What? Who told you such stupid things?"
"I saw myself, by chance. I didn't want to peep but it happened. His arms…" the boy passed his finger over the inner side of his arm from wrist to elbow, "they are sewn with threads, here and here. Sorry, I didn't want to, I won't ask any more!" He understood his father's expression in his own way.
Berk hugged him, pressing to his chest.
"I love you," he said quietly patting his son's unruly hair, closing his eyes. "Everything will be all right," his lips whispered barely audibly.
* * *
Leaving