Congreve's Comedy of Manners
by Frank J. Morlock
BORGO PRESS BOOKS BY FRANK J. MORLOCK
Chuzzlewit
Congreve’s Comedy of Manners
Crime and Punishment
Falstaff (with William Shakespeare, John Dennis, and William Kendrick)
Fathers and Sons
The Idiot
Jurgen
Justine
Lord Jim
Notes from the Underground
Oblomov
Outrageous Women: Lady Macbeth and Other French Plays (editor and translator)
Peter and Alexis
The Princess Casamassima
A Raw Youth
The Stendhal Hamlet Scenarios and Other Shakespearean Shorts from the French (editor and translator)
COPYRIGHT INFORMATION
Copyright © 1982, 2012 by Frank J. Morlock
FIRST BORGO PRESS EDITION
Published by Wildside Press LLC
www.wildsidebooks.com
DEDICATION
For Carmen Martínez,
who would make a great Angelica
INTRODUCTION
My intention in writing this play was to distill the essence of Congreve, to the extent of my ability, into one stage-worthy play. Congreve wrote four comedies, The Way of The World being his acknowledged masterpiece. Love for Love is less brilliant but easier to perform, though it seldom is. His earlier plays, The Old Bachelor and the Double Dealer, contain very good material but are rarely read let alone performed. Revival is unlikely. I had the idea of building a pastiche of all the comedies.
My plan was to build on the general plot of Love for Love, and weave characters and dialogue from the other plays into and around it. In the process some characters are blended with other characters, and acquire clever dialogue found elsewhere. The result is, hopefully, a lively play that will keep Congreve’s best work before the public eye.
But for a transitional phrase or two, almost every line in this play is Congreve’s. It stands to reason then, that whatever virtues it has are his, and whatever faults are mine. The play is not meant as an imitation or improvement of Congreve but rather a “good parts” version of his existing works.
—Frank J. Morlock
CAST OF CHARACTERS
Men
Foresight, an astrologer
Sir Sampson Plyant, a crusty old man
Valentine, his son, in love with Angelica
Ben, his younger son, a naval officer
Lord Froth, an exquisite gentleman
Scandal, Valentine’s friend
Maskwell, a villain, secretary to Foresight
Tattle, a beau valued for his secrecy
Women
Lady Foresight, an adulterous wife in love with Valentine
Angelica, a spirited and affected young woman, niece to Foresight
Mrs. Frail, sister to Foresight, a woman of the town
Prue, Foresight’s daughter by an earlier marriage
Nurse
Servant
The drama is set in London, circa 1699.
ACT I
SCENE 1
A room in Foresight’s house. The room is furnished with various astrological paraphernalia. Foresight, a fiftyish, pedantic man in a rather unstylish wig, enters and addresses an old servant woman.
Foresight
What, are all the women in my family abroad? Is not my wife come home? Nor my sister, nor my daughter?
Servant
No, sir.
Foresight
What can be the meaning of it? Sure the moon is in all her fortitudes. Is my niece Angelica at home?
Servant
Yes, sir.
Foresight
I believe you lie, madame.
Servant
Sir?
Foresight
I say you lie. It is impossible that anything should be as I would have it; for I was born when the Crab was ascendant and all my affairs go backward.
Servant
I can’t tell, indeed, sir.
Foresight
No, I know you can’t, madame. But I can tell, and foretell, too.
Servant
Ha, ha, ha.
Foresight
What’s the matter?
Servant
You have put on one stocking inside out.
Foresight
That may be a sign of very good luck. I have had several omens recently. I got out of bed backwards this morning—and without premeditation—pretty good that—but then a black cat crossed my path —bad that. Some bad, some good. (looking at his watch) Three o’clock. A very good hour for business.
(Enter Angelica.)
Angelica
Is it not a good hour for pleasure too, Uncle Foresight? Pray lend me your coach, mine’s out of order.
Foresight
What, would you be gadding about, too? Sure all these females are mad today. An evil portent. I remember a prophecy—it bodes of cuckoldom.
Angelica
But Uncle Foresight, I can neither make you a cuckold by going out, nor secure you from it by staying at home.
Foresight
Not so. While one woman is left in the house, the prophecy is not in full force—
Angelica
But my inclinations are in force; I have a mind to go out. If you won’t lend me your coach, I’ll take a hackney. Cast a horoscope and see who is in conjunction with your wife. You know my Aunt is a little retrograde in her nature. I’m afraid you are not the lord of the ascendant. Ha, ha, ha.
Foresight
You are a very pert flirt.
Angelica (stifling her laughter)
Uncle, don’t be angry. If you are, I’ll swear you are a nuisance to the neighborhood with your false prophecies, miraculous dreams, and idle divinations.
Foresight
Why, you malapert—
Angelica
Will you lend me your coach? Or I’ll continue: Nay, I’ll declare how your prophesized popery was coming. Indeed, Uncle, I’ll indict you for a wizard.
Foresight
Was there ever such a provoking minx?
Servant
How she talks—
Angelica
Yes, and I can make oath of your unlawful