“Do you still hope to discover the Bow murderer?” he asked the old bloodhound.
“I can lay my hand on him now,” Grodman announced curtly.
Denzil hitched his chair back involuntarily. He found conversation with detectives as lively as playing at skittles with bombshells. They got on his nerves terribly, these undemonstrative gentlemen with no sense of the Beautiful.
“But why don’t you give him up to justice?” he murmured.
“Ah—it has to be proved yet. But it is only a matter of time.”
“Oh!” said Denzil, “and shall I write the story for you?”
“No. You will not live long enough.”
Denzil turned white. “Nonsense! I am years younger than you,” he gasped.
“Yes,” said Grodman, “but you drink so much.”
CHAPTER VII
When Wimp invited Grodman to eat his Christmas plum-pudding at King’s Cross Grodman was only a little surprised. The two men were always overwhelmingly cordial when they met, in order to disguise their mutual detestation. When people really like each other, they make no concealment of their mutual contempt. In his letter to Grodman, Wimp said that he thought it would be nicer for him to keep Christmas in company than in solitary state. There seems to be a general prejudice in favor of Christmas numbers, and Grodman yielded to it. Besides, he thought that a peep at the Wimp domestic interior would be as good as a pantomime. He quite enjoyed the fun that was coming, for he knew that Wimp had not invited him out of mere “peace and goodwill.”
There was only one other guest at the festive board. This was Wimp’s wife’s mother’s mother, a lady of sweet seventy. Only a minority of mankind can obtain a grandmother-in-law by marrying, but Wimp was not unduly conceited. The old lady suffered from delusions. One of them was that she was a centenarian. She dressed for the part. It is extraordinary what pains ladies will take to conceal their age. Another of Wimp’s grandmother-in-law’s delusions was that Wimp had married to get her into the family. Not to frustrate his design, she always gave him her company on high-days and holidays. Wilfred Wimp—the little boy who stole the jam—was in great form at the Christmas dinner. The only drawback to his enjoyment was that its sweets needed no stealing. His mother presided over the platters, and thought how much cleverer Grodman was than her husband. When the pretty servant who waited on them was momentarily out of the room, Grodman had remarked that she seemed very inquisitive. This coincided with Mrs. Wimp’s own convictions, though Mr. Wimp could never be brought to see anything unsatisfactory or suspicious about the girl, not even though there were faults in spelling in the “character” with which her last mistress had supplied her.
It was true that the puss had pricked up her ears when Denzil Cantercot’s name was mentioned. Grodman saw it and watched her, and fooled Wimp to the top of his bent. It was, of course, Wimp who introduced the poet’s name, and he did it so casually that Grodman perceived at once that he wished to pump him. The idea that the rival bloodhound should come to him for confirmation of suspicions against his own pet jackal was too funny. It was almost as funny to Grodman that evidence of some sort should be obviously lying to hand in the bosom of Wimp’s hand-maiden; so obviously that Wimp could not see it. Grodman enjoyed his Christmas dinner, secure that he had not found a successor after all. Wimp, for his part, contemptuously wondered at the way Grodman’s thought hovered about Denzil without grazing the truth. A man constantly about him, too!
“Denzil is a man of genius,” said Grodman. “And as such comes under the heading of Suspicious Characters. He has written an Epic Poem and read it to me. It is morbid from start to finish. There is ‘death’ in the third line. I daresay you know he polished up my book.” Grodman’s artlessness was perfect.
“No. You surprise me,” Wimp replied. “I’m sure he couldn’t have done much to it. Look at your letter in the ‘Pell Mell.’ Who wants more polish and refinement than that showed?”
“Ah, I didn’t know you did me the honor of reading that.”
“Oh, yes; we both read it,” put in Mrs. Wimp. “I told Mr. Wimp it was clever and cogent. After that quotation from the letter to the poor fellow’s fiancée there could be no more doubt but that it was murder. Mr. Wimp was convinced by it, too, weren’t you, Edward?”
Edward coughed uneasily. It was a true statement, and therefore an indiscreet. Grodman would plume himself terribly. At this moment Wimp felt that Grodman had been right in remaining a bachelor. Grodman perceived the humor of the situation, and wore a curious, sub-mocking smile.
“On the day I was born,” said Wimp’s grandmother-in-law, “over a hundred years ago, there was a babe murdered.” Wimp found himself wishing it had been she. He was anxious to get back to Cantercot. “Don’t let us talk shop on Christmas Day,” he said, smiling at Grodman. “Besides, murder isn’t a very appropriate subject.”
“No, it ain’t,” said Grodman. “How did we get on to it? Oh, yes—Denzil Cantercot. Ha! ha! ha! That’s curious, for since Denzil wrote Criminals I Have Caught, his mind’s running on nothing but murders. A poet’s brain is easily turned.”
Wimp’s eye glittered with excitement and contempt for Grodman’s blindness. In Grodman’s eye there danced an amused scorn of Wimp; to the outsider his amusement appeared at the expense of the poet.
Having wrought his rival up to the highest pitch Grodman slyly and suddenly unstrung him.
“How lucky for Denzil!” he said, still in the same naive, facetious Christmasy tone, “that he can prove an alibi in this Constant affair.”
“An alibi!” gasped Wimp. “Really?”
“Oh, yes. He was with his wife, you know. She’s my woman of all work, Jane. She happened to mention his being with her.”
Jane had done nothing of the kind. After the colloquy he had overheard Grodman had set himself to find out the relation between his two employes. By casually referring to Denzil as “your husband” he so startled the poor woman that she did not attempt to deny the bond. Only once did he use the two words, but he was satisfied. As to the alibi he had not yet troubled her; but to take its existence for granted would upset and discomfort Wimp. For the moment that was triumph enough for Wimp’s guest.
“Par,” said Wilfred Wimp, “what’s a alleybi? A marble?”
“No, my lad,” said Grodman, “it means being somewhere else when you’re supposed to be somewhere.”
“Ah, playing truant,” said Wilfred self-consciously; his schoolmaster had often proved an alibi against him. “Then Denzil will be hanged.”
Was it a prophecy? Wimp accepted it as such; as an oracle from the gods bidding him mistrust Grodman. Out of the mouths of little children issueth wisdom; sometimes even when they are not saying their lessons.
“When I was in my cradle, a century ago,” said Wimp’s grandmother-in-law, “men were hanged for stealing horses.”
They silenced her with snapdragon performances.
Wimp was busy thinking how to get at Grodman’s factotum.
Grodman was busy thinking how to get at Wimp’s domestic.
Neither received any of the usual messages from the Christmas Bells.
* * * *
The next day was sloppy and uncertain. A thin rain drizzled languidly. One can stand that sort of thing on a summer Bank Holiday; one expects it. But to have a bad December Bank Holiday is too much of a bad thing. Some steps should surely be taken to confuse the weather clerk’s chronology. Once let him know that Bank Holiday is coming, and he writes to