KEATON: So you like smaller poop…
LENNY: Yeah. It’s easier to grab. And younger girls don’t flush that much so it’s better.
KEATON: What do you mean by ‘grab’?
LENNY: [motions with hands]You know, grabbing it. Picking it up.
KEATON: And then what…?
LENNY: Are you sure my dad’s not going to find out? I don’t want him to know.
KEATON: I think the last thing you should be worried about right now is your father’s feelings about this, Lenny. You’re telling me that you have been frequenting public women’s bathrooms to watch them defecate. And now you’re saying that you’ve been handling their feces. What for?
LENNY: Well, I don’t always find some every time. Sometimes they flush it away and the bowl is empty.
KEATON: You’re looking in toilets to see if they have been flushed or not?
LENNY: Yeah. But most of them are flushed already when I get there so it’s all gone.
KEATON: What about those times when you find some feces left in the toilet? What do you do with it after you’ve grabbed it?
LENNY: I just hold it in my hand and rub it on my boner.
KEATON: You masturbate with feces that you find in a public toilet.
LENNY: Only from girls, though. Not boys. That’s gross.
KEATON: So that day at the store with your family—did you look into the toilets then?
LENNY: Yeah. I always do. When I walk into a bathroom, I look into the toilets first. If I don’t find anything, I just sit down and touch myself and think about a girl going to the bathroom in there. But it’s hard to keep a boner without stuff. I don’t like using just my hand. So that’s why I like using their shit. I took some lotion one time and brought it into the bathroom with me but it wasn’t the same.
KEATON: I would think not. Most of these behaviors you’re talking about are taking place when you’re alone inside the bathroom. What happens when a girl walks in?
LENNY: I look at them.
KEATON: How exactly do you go about doing that if you’re inside a stall?
LENNY: I just stand on top the toilet and look over the other side.
KEATON: You wait inside the stall with the door closed. Then when a girl comes in beside you, you get up on the toilet seat and peer over the stall wall to see what you can see.
LENNY: Uh huh.
KEATON: And this is what happened in the store that day.
LENNY: Right. I was in there jerking on myself and this lady came in to shit. I waited for her and then stood up on the toilet. I looked over the side but she must have heard me or something. She looked up and saw me.
KEATON: What did she do?
LENNY: She just screamed and ran out of there. [laughs] It was kind of funny.
KEATON: After the woman left the bathroom, what did you do then?
LENNY: I went into her stall thingie to look in the toilet. There wasn’t anything in there. The water was just all yellow. [shivers] It was nasty.
KEATON: Surely you realized that this woman was scared. Weren’t you worried about getting caught?
LENNY: Not until the store lady came in to get me. She yelled at me and told me to get out. I did but then this guy started hitting me when I came out.
KEATON: That would be the husband of the woman who you spied on…
LENNY: Yeah. [laughs again] He was a cop too.
KEATON: [speaks while writing summary of disclosure] So you spied on a cop’s wife inside a public bathroom, attempting to watch her defecate and hoping at the end that she wouldn’t flush so you could masturbate with her feces. Is this correct?
LENNY: Uh huh. That’s about it.
KEATON: And you’ve done this same routine in many public places and stores but your favorite is the public library. Give me a range of how many times you’ve done this in total.
LENNY: Ummm…lots of times… about twenty maybe.
KEATON: Twenty times. And this last incident was the first time you’ve been caught?
LENNY: Right. This isn’t a big deal is it? Other guys do it too. When was the last time you touched on yourself in public?
KEATON: [stares at patient] Never. And this is not normal, Lenny. This is illegal and this is unhealthy. Other guys do not do this. You do it. And that is why you’re here, locked up.
LENNY: Oh. So maybe I should stop then.
KEATON: If you ever want to interact with other people and have a healthy relationship, yes, that would be a good idea.
LENNY: What if I did this at home? Is that okay?
KEATON: What do you mean—like when you spied on your mother or sister?
LENNY: Not really. I mean with my girlfriend.
KEATON: You don’t have a girlfriend, Lenny.
LENNY: I know that! I mean when I get one. Would it be bad to—
KEATON: —no, it’s not a good idea to spy on your girlfriend using the bathroom. And it’s also not a good idea to masturbate with her feces. Whether or not you’re dating the person doesn’t make it okay. And it doesn’t make it healthy. We’re talking about feces here. Did you know that there’s a lot of germs in your excrement that can make you sick?
LENNY: [shrugs shoulders] Can you get sick just from touching it or is there another way?
KEATON: Well, sooner or later you’re going to itch your nose or put your hands up to your face after you’ve held the fecal matter. And then those germs will come off your hands.
LENNY: So it’s unhealthy to have poo on your face?
KEATON: Yes, Lenny, that is an unhealthy behavior. Think of feces as toxic waste. It’s something that your body is getting rid of. You don’t need it any more. And if you introduce that waste back into your body, you’re going to get sick.
LENNY: Oh.
KEATON: What is it? Are you telling me everything?
LENNY: I just thought that maybe I could have my girlfriend… um… you know, do it to me.
KEATON: Do what do you? Watch you go to the bathroom?
LENNY: No. More like go to the bathroom on me.
KEATON: You want a girl to defecate on you?
LENNY: Uh uh. I was thinking maybe on my face or maybe on my dick. I saw some movies about it. There was a bunch of pictures on the computer with this guy lying down and this girl was shitting on his face. I thought it was gross at first but