“Now what the hell do we do?” Dirty asked, lying next to me in the prone position along the creek bank. “We’re out here in the open. We have no cover.”
“That’s the whole point,” I said. “Anyone who tries to come and get us will have to cross that meadow. We’ll see them coming and smoke them as they get near. Don’t you pay attention in history class, man? This is an old Civil War tactic.”
Dirty looked coldly at me. “Which side used this tactic, the North or the South?”
“The South,” I replied, looking across the meadow for any approaching enemies.
“Didn’t the South lose?”
“Yeah,” I shrugged, “but they had a bunch of hillbillies on their team. We can shoot better than those fucks. Now stop bitching and train your rifle on anyone who crosses this field.”
Several minutes into holding our position near the creek, Dirty and I witnessed from afar the humbling defeat of our entire platoon. The National Guardsman’s plan had failed miserably. He split up our team far too thin and when he attempted to flank the enemy, they were waiting for him. We witnessed as the remainder of our teammates marched back to the starting point through the forest with their hands raised in the air. The bulk of the enemy team remained, numbering at least six individuals. And, as near as Dirty and I could tell, we were all that was left of our own squad.
“Shit, we’re fucked,” Dirty commented. “We can’t fight off all them guys. We don’t even have enough ammo.”
“Yeah, we’re going to have to make each shot count,” I said. “We wasted a lot on that dickhead with no shirt.”
“We sure did… but it was well worth it.”
“Yes, it was,” I agreed.
“Hey, man, I’m gonna get up in that tree and see if I can find out where they’re at,” Dirty said. “We could be waiting out here all day.” I gave Dirty the nod and he climbed a nearby aspen tree. His lookout position had the opposite effect of our desired outcome. Rather than hoisting himself into an elevated position where we could gain intelligence on the enemy’s position, Dirty exposed himself from our concealed area, thereby giving away our own location. Before he could retaliate, Dirty was shot several times in the legs and chest. He surrendered, as was required for a critical hit, raised his hands, and began to walk across the meadow back to the starting point. “This is bullshit,” he mumbled to me as he passed. “They have some asshole over there with a sniper rifle!”
I was unsure as to what Dirty was referring to until I saw the remaining mob of enemy troops advancing across the meadow on my position. They were well out of range so I lied in wait for them to draw near. Still, I was somehow getting bombarded by paintballs, despite the incredible distance between the enemy and myself. I peeked up from the creek bed and witnessed one of the enemy team members, an individual who was not part of our church ward and who came in with the rest of the stragglers that accompanied the bare-chested idiot, toting a sophisticated paintball rifle with a very long barrel. The weapon was professional grade, looked like a real sniper rifle, and could easily shoot three times the distance as every other weapon that was distributed out to the players. This was a strong advantage to the other team, a very unequal and unfair advantage.
Standing up from the creek bed, I defiantly fired off several rounds of paintballs at the enemy troops. My projectiles lobbed far short of their position, as my weapon was not powerful enough to breach the range. As I was doing so, the cheating bastard who was packing the sniper rifle shot me in my sack. I fell to my side and rolled back down the creek bed in immense pain. Although I was not considered out of action, due to the fact that I was technically not shot in a critical area that was defined at the beginning of the event, I still felt in no condition to continue the war.
Hearing the advance of the enemies, I waited for them, trying to gather as much strength as possible so I could stand and face them. Once I calculated that they were in range of my air rifle, I strenuously jumped up from the creek bed and opened fire upon their advance. Shooting two of them in their torsos, I was discouraged to see the sniper-toting bastard well behind the advancing foot soldiers. As he brought his rifle to his shoulder to aim, I hobbled off into the woods and dodged behind a tree. The remaining handful of enemies then converged on my position, covering the surrounding foliage and tree bark with multiple colors of paint. I ran away, ducking and dodging the paintballs through the thick forest like Willem Dafoe in Platoon, running wounded from the pursuing Vietnamese forces.
Finding a gazebo near another picnic area, I planted myself inside and waited for the advance of the enemy. I fired my weapon as soon as they came within range but was forced to withdraw, as the sniper rifle rained down once more on my position.
Eventually, I ran out of paintball ammunition and returned to the starting point without officially getting killed. I objected to the inherent unfairness of the tournament design, given the unmatched range of the rival team’s sniper rifle. My team lost the battle and I was blamed for facilitating the defeat, as the National Guardsman pointed out that I did not follow the plan and isolated myself from the rest of the group. I saw nothing wrong with separating myself from a losing team who got shot up by the unequal and unfair advantages of our rivals. Furthermore, I argued that I was a POW who had suffered a shot to the nuts, but I was still alive to fight another day.
All in all, the youth activity proved to be much more fun than those previous, even though Dirty had been killed in action, our team ultimately annihilated, and I taking a paintball to the nads. The time that I spent in battle with Dirty created a bond of brotherhood between us. Unbeknownst to me at the time, this friendship would carry me through many periods of turmoil during my adolescent years.
CHAPTER 5
A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. -Scout Law
Beginning in childhood, every male member of the Church is strongly encouraged to take part in Scouting, first as a Cub Scout and then as a Boy Scout, working their way toward achieving the highly sought after rank of Eagle Scout. Without questioning this tradition, I began my path toward Eagle Scout as a child just as my two siblings did before me. Both of my older brothers were involved in Scouting and my father became a Scoutmaster after helping out with the local troop for a period of time. I found that the Scouting experiences were overall quite rewarding. However, my personal enjoyment did not derive from the organized merit badge meetings or group activities at yearly Scout camps. Rather, I viewed Scouting as a means to a much different end.
By tagging along with my assigned Scout troop through all of their various camping excursions, I was afforded travel and opportunity to investigate the surrounding wilderness for insect specimens to aid in my collecting hobby. As an incidental aside, I learned important camping and wilderness survival skills that I thought would prove useful to me as an adult if I ever decided to endeavor on such entomological fieldwork activities on my own.
Most organized Scout camps have itineraries packed full of learning experiences and recreational events surrounding the acquisition of merit badges. Thus, not only are organized Scout camps fun, but they are a highly efficient means of obtaining the needed merit badges to quickly earn the various ranks toward Eagle Scout. Since my personal objectives in attending the organized Scout camps pertained to my own agenda of catching insect specimens, I earned the needed merit badges prior to attending camp, as to free up my time to do what I wanted outside of the structured events.
I earned the Insect Study merit badge within the first day of my advancement from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. From that point forward, I earned several merit badges a month, stacking them up as quickly as I could. By the time that my first week-long summer excursion at Camp Maple Dell came along, I had earned many more merit badges than any other Scout member in my troop, given my age. Thus, as I had already earned the merit badges that were offered through the various activities at camp, my itinerary included a whole lot of personal insect collecting, together with some