I Was Having a Stroke
But no one knew. They thought I was just tired. There was no pain. No loss of muscle coordination or strength. No loss of speech. Maybe trouble thinking, but nothing that screamed, “Stroke!” Just tired.
The American Stroke Association Warning Signs of a Stroke
Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body.
Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding.
Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes.
Sudden trouble walking, dizziness or loss of balance or coordination.
Sudden or severe headache with no known cause.
Over the next three hours, I slept. That may not sound strange, but it was. I never sleep in the car. I am always driving. Thanks to GPS, my wife, who had never driven to Hilton Head before, arrived on the island safe and sound several hours later.
She tried to wake me to ask how to get to the hotel. She said I awoke and mumbled something, then fell back asleep. She thought there may be something wrong, but there were no signs other than me being tired.
She found her way to the hotel, and we walked to the front desk and checked in. It was late Sunday afternoon, and the manager came out to greet us. My wife says that I seemed normal at the time. Nothing that stood out and said, “Hey, this guy is having a stroke, get to the hospital quick!” I laughed and chatted with the manager and workers and we went to the room.
That is an example of how one part of the brain is still normal, while another part is damaged. When you use the part that is still okay, there is no problem.
Afterwards, I learned that it is very important to get to the hospital immediately when you think it may be a stroke. The reason is the clot stops the blood flow to a spot in the brain, and that part of the brain begins to die.
After about 3 to 5 hours it’s too late. Before that, they can give you a shot of something to break up the clot. You will still have some brain damage, but it will be more limited. After that, there is nothing they can do. The damage is done. Then a long-term recovery is all that is left.
NOTE: GET TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT AWAY
If you are having a stroke they can often help if you arrive within the first few hours. The earlier the better and the more brain can be saved. Better safe then sorry. If you are not having a stroke, then checking is no big deal. Assume it is a stroke and protect yourself. And don’t count on the person having the stroke to know. I didn’t. Time matters. Don’t wait. Take control. Insist.
We had a beautiful ocean-front suite with connecting bedrooms for the kids. We were all together on the beach and the weather was perfect. It should have been a beautiful week. I was tired again, and fell asleep on the bed. I had already been sleeping in the car, and now at the hotel. Strange. But still no sign of a stroke to the outside world.
The kids were hungry for dinner and my wife woke me to take them for pizza. We drove to a pizza shop on Pope Avenue. I had some trouble ordering, so my wife ordered for us. Everything seemed fine, sort of. There were still no signs. Before we left, I had to go to the bathroom, so she took the kids to the car and waited. I thought it was all very quick, but when I got back to the car she said she almost sent one of the boys in to see if I was okay because I was in there a long time.
Like I said, I thought it was quick. I have no idea what to tell you about that. It is just interesting. But there were many more interesting things to come.
When we got back to the room, gee wiz, I was tired again. Grueling day, right? Nope, I slept all day! So what did I do? Yup. Fell asleep, again.
To The Island Hospital
The next morning I awoke to the sunrise and the ocean, and a beautiful day on the beach. I had been a little fuzzy yesterday, but today would be better, right? But I was still fuzzy. Hmm. But, I was still happy and pain free. Just confused. What was up?
I didn’t realize it, but my wife had called the front desk to find out where the nearest hospital was. On Hilton Head there was only one hospital. It’s a small island. She made arrangements with Karen Thompson in the executive suite, at the hotel, to watch our kids. Karen has been a friend for years, and she was very nice and helpful.
Deborah then told me she wanted to take me to the hospital to see if something was wrong because I was just not acting right. She wasn’t sure how I would react. I have heard that many stroke sufferers fight the suggestion that something is wrong.
This next sequence may sound contradictory, but I need you to understand how my mind was working. I think by now Deborah knew something was wrong. Not me. I was fine. Just tired, and a little out of it. But I could tell something was not right. So instead of fighting with her, I said, “Sure, let’s go.” She has since told me, when we arrived at the hospital, she quietly told them she thought I had a stroke, or something like that.
I didn’t hear her, and even if I had, I wouldn’t have understood at that point. Stroke? That was just a strange word to me at the time. No meaning.
They rushed me in, and, over the next several hours, tested me. I was out of it. Didn’t really know what was happening. Good thing my wife was with me, looking out for me.
Apparently they told my wife that, yes, I had a stroke. Writing these words brings tears to my eyes as I realize how devastated and alone she must have felt at that moment. And I wasn’t there to hold her and care for her. She was strong and silent, and handled the situation well. I am so proud of her, and admire her strength.
Suddenly things had changed in our relationship: Deborah was now caring for me.
This was the first moment of our “new” life together. She was caring for me. Who would have thought? What did that mean? Not that I would have understood the question at the time. I really didn’t understand what I was doing there, but it was okay that I was there.
By the time we got to the hospital, a whole day had passed since the onset of the stroke. It was way past the first few critical hours, so no treatment was available for me. The damage was done while I slept on the way to the island. Why they wanted me there for the next couple days I cannot say. They ran test after test. I still don’t know what they got from this activity.
I know what I got from it: a huge hospital bill! But that’s another story. I spent the next several days going through many more tests. I had my wife bring my computer the next time she came to visit me so that I could work.
I didn’t realize that I didn’t connect to the Internet or that I was unable to write. I thought I was working. Good thing I didn’t screw up my computer, I guess.
My parents arrived later on that first day at the hospital. Apparently Deborah had called Mom and Dad and they came as fast as they could. They came into my room to say hi and that I looked fine. I was happily working on my computer just like always. They were pleased with that, at least. My mother was left wondering why they came?
Little did anyone know at the time — including me — that I wasn’t even hooked up to the Internet. I thought I was. Who knew?
Over the next few days, my wife, my children, and my parents came to visit me. I guess they all knew I had a stroke. I guess I was the only one in the dark. The doctors did explain it to me, as best as I can recall, before I checked out.
I remember the serious conversation. The tone, but not the words. After the first couple words they all got mixed up. They said lose weight. Watch what I eat.