DOUGAL'S DIARY
one year in the life of a cat
by
DAVID GREAGG
Illustrated by Yvonne van Vliet
With thanks to
Mu,Tigger, Blanche, Tenar,
Bootle, Furry, Gamine, Kari, Geoffrey, Armchair,
Ludwig, Ashe, Horatio, and Belladonna;
but mostly to
Dougal and Shadow
OCTOBER
14?
Sometime around then I must have been born. I really had no idea what was going on, but my earliest memory is of feeding at Mum's nipples with my brother and sisters. I can't remember if my eyes were open yet or not. It didn't matter. All we really knew was that Mum was big and warm and furry and comfortable and we spent our time sleeping, feeding and being washed. Mum's big pink tongue combing our fur loomed awfully large in our lives in those days. The world was warm and dark and comfortable and we used to lie beside each other, listening to Mum's deep purring.
NOVEMBER
2
Around about this time we started to pay more attention to what was happening around us. It was, in fact, Time to Climb Out of the Box. One of the others didn't want to but Mum pushed him out with her nose. Come on, she seemed to be telling him. Up and about! We didn't know it at the time but this was part of Mum's Plan to get us to leave home. Outside the box the world was a bit strange. The floor was fluffy like the box had been, but there was a lot more of it, and there were tall things looming up above our heads. We didn't know what they were for but it was quite exciting rubbing against them. We soon figured out that we could then sniff them and smell each our different scents on it. We played around on the floor for ages until Mum put us back in the box again. She carries us really carefully and it makes us sort of sleepy when she does that. You'd think it would hurt, being picked up by the skin at the back of the neck, but it didn't at the time. It did later, but that's another story.
3
I do remember the next day when two of my siblings began to fight with each other. It was only a play fight but we were all very interested and we started to try it ourselves. Mum seemed to be happy about it, so it was good. We would hide behind the big tall things and jump out on each other. It was great because we kept falling over and the others would fall on top of us and we'd roll over and over.
But we still got tired easily and sometimes we'd fall asleep in mid-fight and Mum would come and wash us. That was lovely and she'd purr at us as we went off to dreamland.
Our dreams were pretty much the same every day then: Mum's nipples and her warm, furry-huge body. Though I did notice something odd today. I could have sworn Mum isn't as big as she used to be. I hope she's all right. I wanted to ask the others what they thought but we can't really make each other understand anything yet. It's very frustrating. We can understand Mum though.
She only says three things to us usually and we all know what they mean. One: Sit still while I wash you. Two: Dinner! Three: Time to sleep, everyone.
4
Maybe our eyes are more open now. I don't know what it is but we noticed The Humans for the first time today. They picked us all up, one by one, and ran their paws down our fur. We didn't know what was going on but Mum glared at us and seemed to be telling us, Turn On the Cute, Will You! I didn't know what to make of it at the time. Who are these guys? Why are they important, anyway?
But Mum thought it was important, so we tried to pretend they were cats like us. Their paws are big and don't have any fur on them and they don't know how to play properly. But hey, we did it and they didn't hurt us. It was just a bit weird. Their eyes and faces are so huge, it's hard to have any sort of a conversation with them. We were starting to manage it among ourselves today. So far we'd all learned: I'm Hungry; That's Mine, You Find Your Own; You're Standing on My Paw; Come Play with Me; and I Love You. But they put us back in our box and Mum washed us and told us we'd all been Good Kittens.
5
Our eyes are more open again today. We learned lots of new things to say, like: Good Kittens; This Rug Is Lumpy; Somebody Soiled the Rug Again; Mum's Dealing With It; We All Love Mum; and Mum, He's Not Playing Nice!
6
We're learning new words all the time and it is all wonderful. We love Mum and we love each other. Purrr!
7
I had noticed the others were a bit reluctant to play with me sometimes and apparently it's because I slap and kick harder than the others. I don't get this, but I'll try to Play Nice. The thing about play fights is that they're just play. Mum watches us carefully when we do it. It's important, she seems to be telling us. We're starting to notice each other's fur more. We're not all the same. Mum's black and white like me, but two of the others are all stripy and the other one's plain black. There are four of us, but we didn't understand numbers then.
I do now. I understand about One Head and Two Eyes and Three Cats Who Live Here and Four Paws. There may be other numbers but I don't think we need them. Or maybe we do.
8
Stripy One likes to play with the little ball with the bell in it and she pushed it all over the room, even onto the Smooth Bit. Speaking of the room, I think there's something outside it. There must be. After all, where do the humans live? They only come in sometimes, so they must live somewhere else.
And today when the humans came in to play with us, I saw a bit of the room open. It's a big wooden thing. Mum says it's called a Door and they open and shut so the humans can come and go. Tomorrow I'll watch when they leave the room and see if I can see what's outside the room. I wonder how big the world really is?
9
Today I heard loud stomping noises outside and we all looked at each other. That means humans! They'll want to play with us again, but that's OK because they're getting better at it. But I wanted to see outside so I ran up to the door, and as soon as the door opened I got thrown across the smooth bit. It hurt quite a lot and I must have yelled, because Mum got really mad and hissed at the humans. One of them reached down to pick me up and Mum belted them on the paw and hissed again.
We'd never seen Mum get really mad before and it was very interesting. There are two humans, and the other one knelt down and played with Mum's ears for a bit. We'd seen this happen before and Mum loved it. So Mum calmed down and the other human talked to me for a bit. I couldn't understand a word of course, but the human seemed to understand what I'd wanted because it picked me up by the back of the neck, just like Mum does, and put in the very middle of this big paw. Then the door opened