Historians tell us that during late afternoons, certain quarters of Rome’s cobbled streets bristled with parties of men in elegant togas on their way to banquets. A slave or two accompanied each guest for several reasons: as bodyguards; to carry cloaks or extra togas; to tote home the gifts hosts presented each guest as memorabilia; or finally to support a drunken master homeward.
Trimalchio’s feast is divided into lengthy ‘courses’ that are interrupted by periodic entertainments, ribald accounts with erotic overtones, business or host-slave interactions, staged ‘punishments,’ and Trimalchio’s true-confessions and soliloquies. His dramatic references to the fleetingness of life and pre-planned funeral ceremonies provide an odd descant to the Bacchanalian tone of the overall feast, paralleled only by the host’s description of his bowel habits. That alone is a bit crazy, or suggests that considerable wine was early imbibed. Versions of Petronius vary slightly, but all depict the flavor of a feast that was not only somewhat crazy, but probably illegal under current Roman anti-sumptuary laws.
The convention of printed dots (…) indicates skipped passages in the following excerpts, and italics indicate explanations or cited poetry. Single quotes indicate the beginning and end of the overall text. I also opted not to use quotation marks for excerpted citations, since they are often only paraphrased and not direct quotes.
Now on to the drama: Scene One of Trimalchio’s feast.
Imagine you are one of Trimalchio’s guests, ambling along a cobbled avenue in Rome amid late afternoon crowds. You, your slaves and other companions approach Trimalchio’s large villa and its adjunct bathing quarters. Other male guests are also arriving, all wearing typical fine evening togas (vesta cenatoria). Meanwhile, your slaves carry garment changes to be used during the feast.
Although guests arrive clean, perfumed and with properly oiled hair, Trimalchio invites them to share another more or less ceremonial bath. This by-play is probably to show off his sumptuous bathing pools near the villa’s entrance. Upon arrival, the guests notice that Trimalchio had been playing a staged ball game with his servants. Our chronicler-guest describes the opening scene that greets the guests:
‘Plump Trimalchio is playing ball in the courtyard with several servants, one of whom carries his silver pissing bottle into which Trimalchio pees. He then rinses his hands and wipes them on the head of a slave boy. (The guests enter the villa courtyard after their ‘ritual’ bath to which the host had invited them.)
At the villa entrance stands the porter, a eunuch in a green uniform with a cherry red belt. He is shelling peas into a silver basin. Over the doorway hangs a golden cage from which a spotted magpie warbles to greet the visitors. After the guests enter the villa, they approach the entrance to a dining room. Nearby sits a hunched-over treasurer busily going over accounts...The guests take their places (in the dining room). Discussions and laughter are heard as they greet one another warmly.
Several dusky slave boys from Alexandria pour ice water over the guests’ hands...while others attend to washing their feet and toenails.... Dishes served for the first course include a Corinthian bronze sculpture of an ass with two large panniers containing white olives on one side and black olives on the other... Dormice (small, furry-tailed Old World rodents resembling squirrels) roasted and sprinkled with honey and poppy seed are served along with the olives. Steaming hot sausages on beds of damsons (plums) and pomegranate seeds are next carried in on a huge silver gridiron.
During these initial servings, Trimalchio is carried in by slaves on an elevated chaise to the sound of flute music.... He picks his teeth with a silver toothpick...while nodding to his guests, and is still playing a board game with a slave. Soon another tray arrives holding an enormous basket whereon sits a wooden hen with its wings spread....Two more slaves rush in and dig peahen’s ‘eggs’ out from under the wooden hen, which they distribute among the guests. The guests take up silver spoons (weighing half a pound each) and crack the ‘eggs,’ which are actually covered with pastry… Each guest searches inside the pastry shell with his fingers and finds a plump little figpecker (small songbird), all covered with yolk and seasoned with pepper.
Goblets of fine Falernian wine and mead (honey-sweetened wine or mulsum) are constantly served by corps of singing male waiters. Two long-haired Ethiopians carrying small leather bags pour heavily perfumed water over the guests’ hands periodically. Meanwhile, one slave carries in a silver skeleton with articulated joints, and flings it rather noisily on the table. At this point, Trimalchio slowly intones a recitation of the following poem:
O woe, woe, man is only a dot!
Hell drags us off and that’s our lot/
So let us live a little space,
At least while we can feed our face.
Next, a huge and deep circular tray decorated with the twelve rings of the zodiac is carried in and presented. Over each of these rings appropriate symbolic dainties are placed: over Aries the Ram, chickpeas; over Taurus the Bull, a beefsteak; over the Heavenly Twins (Gemini), testicles and kidneys; over Cancer the Crab, a garland; over Leo the Lion, African figs; over Virgo the Virgin, sows’ udders; over Libra the Scale, a balance scale with cheesecake in one pan and pastry in the other; over Scorpio, a sea scorpion; over Sagittarius the Archer, sea bream; over Capricorn, a lobster; over Aquarius the Water-Carrier, a goose; and over Pisces the Fish, two mullets. In the center of the tray is a grassy turf bearing a full honeycomb. Meanwhile, a young Egyptian slave carries around a silver warming oven of fresh breads while he mangles a song from a drama, The Asafetida Man, in a rather sickening voice.
At this juncture, four dancers hurtle into the dining room and remove the lid of yet another huge platter to reveal plump fowls, sows’ udders, fish, and a hare with wings fixed to his middle to look like Pegasus. At the same time, little leather bottles tip allowing a peppery fish sauce (garum) to run over the platter’s contents so that some fish seem almost to be swimming in a narrow channel.
At this juncture, the guests are eating, imbibing in more wine and engaging in loud gossip with the host. They focus on Trimalchio’s wealth, as well as the personality of his popular wife. The importance of astrology to the host and his family is also considered, while Trimalchio nods, grins and accepts their laudatory and personal comments. He continues to drink and eat.
Several humming servants now appear and cover the dining couches with embroidered coverlets depicting nets, while others act as hunters and brandish broad spears and the paraphernalia of hunting… Suddenly Spartan hunting hounds bound in and dash about making a noisy uproar. Behind them, slaves carry in a huge platter bearing an entire wild boar wearing a freedman’s cap…. From the boar’s tusks dangle two baskets woven of palm leaves. One is full of fresh Syrian dates, and the other holds dried Theban dates. Little roasted piglets in pastry surround the boar.... Next, a huge bearded fellow enters flourishing a large knife. He stabs the boar’s side smartly, and out flies a flock of live thrushes that are caught in nets by the slaves who race around the room chasing them.
While the guests continue to visit and eat, a handsome youth arrives wearing a garland of grape leaves and ivy wound around his head. He’s pretending to be Bacchus the Reveler, and carries a huge basket of grapes. At this point, differences of opinion about political ideas are expressed by several guests; however, these are cut short by Trimalchio who announces loudly that he feels the need to visit his privy.
When Trimalchio returns, he discusses his bowel habits and freely offers his guests sage advice about how to maintain ‘regularity’ by using a laxative made of pomegranate juice and resin in vinegar. He ends his discourse by inviting his guests to visit and use his several privies whenever they feel so inclined.
While Trimalchio drones on, more servers arrive. They carry in a massive pig surrounded by its piglets and place it on a table. Trimalchio stares at it and jokingly suggests