Copyright
© 2013 by Harold J. Winfrey
ISBN 9781456619022
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, copied, stored, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, photographic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or in any information storage and retrieval systems, without prior written permission of the author or publisher, except where permitted by copyright law.
The information contained in this book is strictly for educational purposes. Therefore, if you wish to apply ideas contained in this book, you are taking full responsibility for your actions.
Contents
Introduction
The Importance of Communication
Communication Barriers
Speak Without Criticizing
Listen Without Labeling
Do Not Play Doctor
Flattery Gets You Nowhere
Order from Chaos
Throw Away the Threats
Question Correctly
Stop Imposing Morals
Advice About Advice
Conclusion
Introduction
When talking to others do you stammer and stumble over your own tongue or are you able to effectively communicate to anybody in any situation?
Chances are if you are reading this book, you fall into the first category, not the second. If you fall into the second category, you probably do not need this book.
Most people have trouble communicating effectively; it is a very common problem.
From our personal relationships to our business relationships, communication is important. The better you can communicate, the better things will be with you. Some people just have that magnetic pull where when they talk, people not only listen, they respond in a positive manner.
Great speakers are not born they are made. Those people were once as awkward as you are when it comes to communication but they learned to improve, and so can you!
Learning to be a people person and to communicate better is possible. Instead of struggling to get people to understand your point, be able to say what you mean clearly, eliminating any confusion. You too can have a magnetic personality that will draw people to you.
The Importance of Communication
Communication is vitally important to us. We communicate both verbally and non-verbally to the people around us. A frown tells the person that we are talking to that we are displeased. If we are frowning but are not displeased, it causes conflict because the person we are talking to will think that we are not happy.
Effective communication is the only way to prevent misunderstanding like these.
Think back to how many people you encounter during the day. You communicate constantly throughout your day. However, many people confuse communication with talking.
Speaking is a method of communication. Communication itself is when we are conveying a message to somebody else.
In short, we have something that we want the other person to know about and to understand. Effective communication is not only telling something to a person, it means that they understand what you are trying to say as well.
Think back to the last several arguments or disagreements that you have had. How many were caused by miscommunication or a misunderstanding? If you are like the majority of the population, the majority of your disagreements and conflicts probably stemmed from a communication error.
Communication is essential because it is how information is passed from person to person, any error and it causes conflict.
If you want to succeed in your professional life, you need to have a firm grasp of communication. Same with your personal life, your relationship with your significant other hinges upon how well you can communicate with each other.
As stated in the introduction, not everybody is born to be a great communicator; but they can learn to be.
Technology has made conversation a lost art. We have learned to adapt to short messages and quick emails. This leads to problems because unless you understand how to get your message across in a short message, it can lead to problems.
Conversation is still a vital part of communication, and it is one that you need to embrace.
Successful people do not text people, they call them. There is no more effective way to connect with people than by personal communication. If you have a habit of avoiding phone calls or face to face meetings by using emails, or texts, get out of that habit.
The people who get the most attention and who are the most persuasive know that technology cannot replace good old fashioned communication.
When you talk to somebody, they are able to get the benefit of seeing your face, so they get your non-verbal communication cues.
They also can hear your voice, to hear how you pronounce your words because your inflection on how you speak is as important as what you say.
You can convey a lot of meaning just by changing your tone while you talk or by emphasizing different words.
People who have mastered the art of conversation are more persuasive because they know that communication with all of the visual clues is infinitely more effective than an email or text message.
Your first step towards becoming a master communicator and towards getting people to respond to you more positively is to stop relying on technology for your communication and to start actually having conversation with people.
Take charge of your communication and always make the extra effort to pick up a phone or to walk to their office to have a conversation.
The bond that happens when you are able to connect to somebody that you are talking to is impossible to build via text or email but it is very possible when you are talking face to face or over the phone.
Every conversation is an opportunity for you to connect to somebody. If you are trying to persuade them towards your side of things, then it is your chance to convince them.
Your communication is tied into your reputation. People who shun communication get called anti-social, or unfriendly, even though they may just have social anxiety.
How you communicate can tell people about you. People who are people magnets are seen as confident and as leaders. They may not be, but they are seen that way because they present themselves as that way.
If you want to be seen as confident, as a professional, you need to learn the communication methods that they know.
That magnetic personality, that charisma that they have, that comes with their ability to be able to form a brief connection with the person that they are talking to. When you have that ability, even if you are not confident, you will come off that way.
If you want to improve your life, and to take your career to whole new heights, you need to improve your communication. Even your personal life will benefit.
Waste less time going back and forth with your partner, and learn to have conversations instead of arguments. Communication will transform your life in so many ways.
Communication Barriers
Before we go into how to be a better communicator, we need to address what some of the barriers to great communication are.
When you are able to see where you are going wrong, or what could be preventing you from communicating better