Of course, not all of us have such heavy responsibilities and lives that are as demanding of focus. This is why we often allow our minds to wander and not be present with what’s happening right now. Just as in meditation we return to the thing we’re focusing on (such as our breath), so, too, in everyday life when the mind wanders or when worry overtakes us, we should just go back to what’s happening right now. Don’t get upset that you’ve allowed your mind to stray, but instead come back to focusing on the present moment. Keeping those thoughts of the past and future from entering into the present will keep fears and anxieties from stressing your life.
6 My Personal Journey
I began meditating in my late teens after I was exposed to the research of Herbert Benson, who wrote the book The Relaxation Response. It was a wonderful study into how people meditate and the benefits of meditation. It was basic but very helpful. It got me interested in both practicing and studying meditation.
While I found meditation relaxing after doing it a short while, it wasn’t always easy to do, and I wasn’t always motivated to do it. I meditated often, but not regularly. I did it because I understood the medical benefits. I knew it was good for me, good for my heart. Dr. Benson talks a lot about the medical benefits of meditation.
Over the years, as I pursued my degrees in psychology, I studied different forms of meditation, tried different practices, and really began to enjoy the effects. I meditated periodically. I would sometimes take breaks from it but I’d always come back. I explored different forms, different traditions, and developed my interest and love of meditation.
I think the tipping point was when someone came to me for help and advice. This person, whom I respected, was intensely spiritual, and shared with me the opinion that meditation was one of the foundational tools of personal growth. “If you really want to grow, meditation is really the key both spiritually and psychologically,” this client said. So I started to explore meditation from that perspective and found the remark to be true. Because I was passionate about growth, I decided to truly dive into meditation. Although I had spent decades academically, professionally, and in my private endeavors studying personal development, I had not deeply studied the spiritual, meditative methods of growth.
At that point in my life, I came to realize that studying psychology had taken me a long way in my own personal development, but that it could only take me so far. Meditation could take me to my goal of being a happy, whole person on a consistent basis. So I had actually learned from someone I was counseling that meditation was the main way to grow in all aspects of my life.
Although I had all these degrees and training which helped me develop excellent skills in dealing with my stresses, anxieties, and emotional issues, I still hadn’t achieved the goal of reaching my full potential as a whole, healthy human being. I needed to seriously apply meditation to actually reach this goal in my life. In the East, they call it “enlightenment”; in the West, some writers call it “awakening,” and psychologists refer to it as “self-actualization.”
What consistent, regular meditation started to do for me was help me get in touch – on a consistent, regular basis – with who I am, why I’m here, and my oneness with everything around me. Psychology and the medical world had taught me good tools for functional living, but hadn’t taught me how to live. Meditation has taught me how to live fully, how to live in the present, and how to savor every moment.
There was one final lesson I needed to learn. Although I had become quite good at meditating and was very relaxed and peaceful on the meditative mat, when I left the mat my mind continued to chatter. I learned I didn’t have to leave that meditative state when I left the mat. I could go through my day, continuing in my meditative state of being at peace, being at one. While the mind chatter is still there, I’ve learned how to acknowledge it, witness it, and not be distracted by it. I’ve learned how to remain in the now, how to be present with what is.
One of the changes that has come along through my meditating is that I require less sleep. I generally go on three to six hours a day now. Like most people, I used to require six to eight hours of sleep to function. Also, during my meditations sometimes I have very “mystical” experiences where it’s incredibly magical and I am one with the universe. I’ve learned not to attach myself to these experiences; I don’t expect them, but sometimes they come and are intense and enjoyable beyond words. I’ve become one with myself and at peace.
If you want to be the most fully functional human being you can be, meditation is the way to achieve this. If growth and spirituality are important to you, meditation is the tool to getting there. We all can experience the joys, wonders, and incredible peace that truly surpasses all understanding, with regular meditation.
7 Meditation and Synchronicity
Synchronicity (what some people call “coincidence”) is related to probability. There are events that occur in life which have a small probability of happening, yet they happen. For instance, you’re visiting with a friend, there’s a pause in the conversation, and you say something completely unrelated to the topic. The friend responds with, “I was just thinking that!” The chances of that happening are statistically small, yet it happens.
Another example: you call a friend you haven’t spoken with in a while. You happen upon their number in your address book, and decide to call and see how they are doing. When they answer, you find out their grandmother just died, and they really were needing someone to talk to. You coincidentally called them at that precise moment and were able to comfort them in their hour of need.
Because of their rare and unplanned occurrence, and because they usually happen between two people, instances of synchronicity are difficult for scientists to study. They’re outside the realm of science, but not outside the realm of our experience. Even though they aren’t scientifically provable, we find proof of them in our own lives and in hearing the remarkable experiences of other people. Sharing such experiences are a powerful way of validating their reality.
Synchronicity occurs when something happens out of the ordinary, generally between two people. The chances are miniscule, yet it happens. You see it, you experience it, it’s very real and poignant to you, but because it’s so personal it can’t necessarily be validated by others.
I’d like to share a true story to illustrate an example of synchronicity. Years ago I was working with a client who was very, very busy. I encouraged her to slow down and take time for herself. I remember telling her that if she didn’t learn to slow down, there could be serious consequences. I didn’t say that to frighten her but to try to help her understand the direction she was headed, and to make her more aware of her compromised state of well-being.
Shortly after I reminded her to slow down, she was driving on the freeway, speeding along, as always, in a hurry. A truck in front of her went out of control and started spinning around. It came within inches of hitting and killing her. As the truck spun by, this woman saw in big, bold, black letters (in her mind) the words “Slow Down!” To her, that was a message. If she didn’t slow down, there would be consequences.
Later she joked, asking if I had put that sign there to remind her. Of course I hadn’t had anything to do with it; it was one of those remarkable coincidences. This is what is meant by a moment of synchronicity.
Perhaps you, too, have had an incident where the universe or God seemed to conspire to send you a message so loudly and clearly that it got your attention. What does this have to do with meditation? The central goal of meditation is to help you slow down, quiet your mind, and be still. What may happen is that as you do this, you find that synchronicity in your life begins to increase.
Because meditation is such a powerful change agent and so helpful in a plethora of ways, I wonder if the universe or God doesn’t perhaps give back to us, in the form of synchronicity, to show us we are on the right track and to encourage us to keep on meditating. Synchronicities happen a lot more often when you’re practicing meditation.
There’s a person who can validate or disqualify this claim I’m making that when you meditate, synchronicities happen more frequently in your