SEE ALSO: acne • alone, wanting to be left • arguments, getting into • astray, being led • bargaining, endless • body hair • body image • body odour • chores, having to do • clumsiness • dating • different, feeling • embarrassment • exams • friends your parents don’t approve of, having • gaming, excessive • gay, not sure if you are • good at anything, feeling like you’re no • happy ever after, had enough of • hormones, raging • innocence, loss of • laziness • moodiness • obstinate, being • periods • screen, glued to the • sulking • trashing the house while your parents are out • understood, not being • wet dreams • zits
adoption
Once upon a time, adopted children were sat down at a random moment in childhood and delivered the ‘oh, by the way, you’re adopted’ bolt from the blue. Thankfully, we’ve moved on since then, drip-feeding the knowledge from the beginning. Picture books are a great way to help do this, as well as reiterating the message that adopted children are planned and deeply wanted. Which stories strike a chord will depend on the particular circumstances of the adoption: find those that best fit the picture from the list that follows.
As adopted children get older, they generally ask more questions about their birth parents and may try to seek them out. This brings a flood of new and complex emotions for both the child and the grown-ups who adopted them.
When the little duckling – as it turns out to be – emerges, Sprout’s happiness is moving to behold. With her baby, Greentop, in tow, she struts proudly past the animals in the barnyard, impervious to their taunts. ‘Sure, he’s a duck, not a chick. Who cares?’ she says to herself. ‘He still knows I’m his mum!’ When, all by himself, Greentop learns to swim, then fly – spending entire days wheeling over the reservoir – Sprout is happy for him, even though she’s left on the ground. One day, Greentop senses something approaching the reservoir – something that will cover the entire sky and fill the air with its honking . . . and he begins to tremble with a mixture of excitement and impending loss . . .
This fable-like novella is about many things – the desire to be a parent, and the need for a child to be who they are. But what we remember most is the over-arching love Sprout feels for her baby. Sprout knows that the best way to love her son is to understand him – even if that means acknowledging he’s different to her and may have to go away at some point and find out who he is. Give this to kids as they begin to ask questions about their birth parents to show that you understand.
THE TEN BEST BOOKS FEATURING ADOPTION
| CURE FOR GROWN-UPS | Horton Hatches the Egg DR SEUSS |
This story doesn’t represent birth parents who give up a child for adoption in the most charitable light, but at times of extreme exhaustion, or when you get the ‘You’re not my real mother/father anyway’ line hurled at you, the depiction of the faithful Horton will be a comfort. Having agreed to sit on an egg laid by Mayzie – a lazy bird who’d rather soak up some rays on Palm Beach and delegate the incubation job to someone else – Horton keeps his word, protecting the egg through rain and sleet, and sitting there even when the tree bends beneath his weight, when icicles form on his trunk, and when a hunter takes aim – Seuss’s endlessly inventive illustrations bringing all these travails to life in the way that only he can. When the chick finally hatches and Mayzie has the audacity to claim it as hers after all, we’re in no doubt who the rightful parent is. Whenever you – or your child – need reminding, adopt Horton’s rallying cry as your mantra: ‘I meant what I said/And I said what I meant . . ./An elephant’s faithful/One hundred per cent!’
SEE ALSO: anger • different, feeling • feelings, not able to express your • parents, having
adventure, needing an
When there’s none to be had at a child’s own back door, send them on one in a book.
THE TEN THIRTY-NINE4 BEST BOOKS FOR TAKING YOU ON AN ADVENTURE